This guy is/was interested in me. He tells me that I need to come out of my shell & like basically be wild & crazy b/c I settled into some sort of routine when I was married & I just need to get out of that. I'm shy around him though! He's hilarious & says all kinds of funny & off the wall stuff...but it's like I can't really even find words to say around him b/c I'm nervous & I know he wants the fwb thing first & then to see if it will someday be more. This guy has been around alot more than me....traveling, meeting all kinds of new people & doing crazy stuff...& me....I've been a wife the last 7 years & been taking care of my son the last 5 years...mainly on my own. How could my stories even compare to his? Not that there is anything wrong w/being a wife & mother...I'm just saying I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about all that. How do I talk more around him w/out being so nervous?...it's nerve racking b/c he knows I like him & I probably like him more than he likes me.
2007-11-14 07:19:38 · 11 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He makes me feel like he would or could like me more but doesn't b/c I haven't experienced alot of things b/c I got married young(18) and was married up until recently(26 now) and now I'm a single mom. I don't get out much on weekends...I'm taking care of my son. My ex lives about 4 hours away and he is pretty much an absent father. I don't get much time to myself at all.
2007-11-14 07:20:27 · update #1
He also has a 5 year old daughter that lives with him about 5 days every week.
2007-11-14 07:34:24 · update #2
Did it ever occur to you that you are who you are. And if he wants you to change then he isn't the person for you. I say, he should find the fact that you aren't experienced, endearing and be excited that he is the one to be able to show you a new kind of life. Not say that he can't be with you because you aren't outgoing enough.
Sounds like a case of just plain old incompatibility.
Do things for yourself, not for some guy. If you want to change then change, but don't do it just because "he" thinks you should be something other than what you are.
2007-11-14 07:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have two comments for you. First, be your self. He has obviously taken an interest in who you are so don't feel like you have to be someone else.
Second, fwb is going nowhere. If you want more than that, don't settle for less. If you want a real relationship, then you need to make that clear before you go too far.
2007-11-14 16:08:50 · answer #2 · answered by mjmayer188 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry if I had to guess, I would say there is no real chemistry there. You need someone right now and may settle for who ever comes along. Take your time enjoy your life and do not settle. There will be someone that you feel comfortable with down the road.
2007-11-14 15:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by tinc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with a guy who isn't at all interested in your life "doesn't want to hear about all that (wife and motherhood)", and who wants you to be someone different to be with them "Need to come out of my shell ... wild and crazy"?
If he liked YOU he would like YOU as you are, not require you to be someone different to be with him. Step back and ask yourself, do YOU feel that you need to change? Do you have the time, energy, desire to be "wild and crazy" and how does your child fit into that?
Better to have someone that likes you as you are, or at least is willing to be with you and work with you to change the things that YOU want to change, than to be someone your not, for someone who doesn't accept you as you are. It will get to hard to keep up the pretense in the long run. And would you be happy pretending long term anyway?
2007-11-14 15:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you will never get alot of time to yourself, as you have a 5year old and are a single mom.
As far as opening up, I say "you are who you are". Someone should not try to change you to fit their lifestyle.
When I got married, I told my wife, "I am marrying you how you are today, not how I want you tomorrow - -- Dont change"
FWB's are nice, just dont get your kid caught up in liking this guy, and then the guy leaves, its tough on them.
2007-11-14 15:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by teamlessbear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U will never really know how he feels if u don't ask him! I think that u should tell him how u feel, getting all of this off of ur chest will do u some justice!
2007-11-14 15:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Tashay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like he wants you too? You're already displaying your own insecurities. Get to know you first. You do what makes you feel comfortable. You two have & live two different lives.
2007-11-14 15:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're obviously in a rut and enjoy it there. You have a son, who should be first in your life.
You're in your comfort zone and unless you want to, there you're gonna stay.
2007-11-14 15:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he makes you feel this way BEWARE and he's probably not so traveled and all like he says people like to play on people he sounds insecure but your even more insecure this makes him feel better about himself.
2007-11-14 15:36:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be myself with him and would not try to impress him. If he does not like it then he was not the one to be.
2007-11-14 15:30:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋