Ok, I'm in the middle of a divorce, and my soon to be ex and I are arguing because I have a male friend that I talk to on the phone. Me and this guy are just friends, but my soon to be ex is paranoid and thinks that I want to be with this guy. I've known my guy friend for 4 years now and I don't feel that's its right for my soon 2 be ex to ask me to stop talking to him!! I agree that I don't need to be going to his house & I don't, or be in a relationship & I'm not, or engaging in sexual relations with him & I don't plan to, but I don't feel that I should cut him out of my life just because my soon to be ex doesn't like him.
2007-11-14 07:11:50 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank u to all who have answered so far! Everyone has made a really good point, so I feel I must add this, My ex knew for the las 4 years that he was my friend, No I did not cheat on my husband, I wouldn't care if he had a friend who just so happened to be a woman, No I won't stay and try to reconcile because I've been trying for 7 years to make it work and there r other things that can't be fixed!, No I don't respect my ex because he's had none for me (EVER), yes he has been a crontrol freak our entire marriage, he's insecure, paranoid, cold. So 2 all who replied with- I need to try and work it out, would u stay with a man/woman who insulted u daily, lies about everything, and has never respected you in any way, shapr , or form?
2007-11-14 09:08:47 · update #1
Oh and I don't tell him anything by choice, he gets up in my face and demands to know. So please stop assuming!!! Thank u
2007-11-14 09:12:07 · update #2
tell your ex to butt out there is a reason he is your ex. if your just friends than what does it hurt, your going through a tough stage in your life right now and you need love and support from all of your friends.
2007-11-14 07:25:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jessie A 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You are wrong....honestly, if your
'so to be ex' is saying something now...what did he not know you had a friend??
This may have been part if not most of your problem.
People are so quick to get a divorce...what about working it out???
Think about it this way, if he had a girl that 'was just a friend' for 4 years and liked to talk to her....how would that make you feel, do you think it would play on your marriage?? Put your self in his place, if you can do that then you will see clearer the problem.
And just because your divorced or on the way to get one-feeling don't just turn off...
The people who say just dump him already have no sense of responsibility-just get a divorce and then do what you want to do.....I doubt that you thought about what a relationship like yours and your friend would have on YOU if it was his friend.
Because you know that you talked bad about him (Hubby) to your friend, how would you feel if your hubby talked to a girl exactly the way you did....but about you?
Just for thoughts, if you can repair your marriage try and try again! You only think you know what it is like til it is over......try.
SORRY just read on you:
read that then read this:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqBgBoYNCzz55mDvMo5kUbDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071114114321AAiNsG3
YOU ARE WRONG!
2007-11-14 15:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Blaze 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sounds to me like your soon to be ex is jealous, and he has every right to be. Your not divorced yet. Until you get them divorce papers in your hand, then and only then can you go about your life with out him in it, unless you have children. If you have children then you should at least respect his wishes for now. The way he is looking at it, is his side of the bed hasn't even had a chance to get clod yet and your already moving on. There is no right or wrong for you too. Divorce is divorce, and marriage is marriage and that is what you too are is married......... I am assuming your the one that pushed for the divorce b/c you cheated????? Give him time he will come around...
2007-11-14 15:26:03 · answer #3 · answered by kandie w 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
hurry up with the divorce and stop talking to the soon to be ex and get a new life and be happy it is none of the soon to be ex's business OK good luck and why do you gotta ask something like this if he is going to be an ex and when will you run your own life.....???????
2007-11-14 18:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by daisy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly, if you are in the middle of a divorce, it really isn't his business.
It's not about being right.
Sounds like the same bickering you guys did when you were married.
Understand this, however; this type of back and forth can be worked out, and you and your husband still have a chance to reconcile and not add to the divorce rate. That's the mature way to go.
2007-11-14 15:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you opted to do all of those things and more it would be of no legitimate concern to your ex (though that reality would likely not stop him from commenting or speculating on it). The best way to thoroughly communicate this to him is to cease discussing certain aspects of your personal lives...you two are evolving into exes, and your boundaries must similarly evolve to reflect this change.
2007-11-14 15:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by Captain S 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe there's nothing wrong with just talking with this guy, but if you are divorcing because of that, then you should stop talking to this guy and reconsile you marriage. It looks like you value the other guy more then your husband, and what your husband feels and wants does not matter to you, and you don't respect him.
But if you are divorcing for different reasons, then it shouldn't matter who you talk to
2007-11-14 15:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by hplyevr4evr 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You're in the middle of a divorce, meaning the two of you are broken up. This means that you have every right to talk to whomever you want, and if you want to date you may as well. This is your life and now that he's your ex he has no say in what you do with your personal life.
2007-11-14 15:18:15 · answer #8 · answered by Marra's mommy 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
your ex is upset because he probably doesn't want the divorce and feels he may be the cause of your wanting to divorce him. if u know where to draw the line, and keep it friends only your in the right.
2007-11-14 15:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're right. But please be careful. He may be able to use that against you in the divorce. When I was contemplating divorce, my lawyer told me to be careful who I saw and who I spoke with on my cell phone. If he had records he could say your friendship with this man was part of the reason for the demise of your relationship. That's what my lawyer told me but I'm sure it depends on the grounds you're filing under. Other than that, tell him to mind his business!
2007-11-14 15:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋