We are going on a cruise and I do not want to stop at the island that he got married in to his last wife. Am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable about going there? We have not booked it yet but he is mad that I don't want to go there.
2007-11-14 06:31:24 · 16 answers · asked by emmablue32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's not insisting that we go there, its just when he showed me the cruise he liked I said I didn't want to go there.
2007-11-14 06:32:14 · update #1
I completely understand this one. It's something that obviously meant a lot to him at one point, something that meant a lot with SOMEONE else.
There are a number of other cruises to different destinations that you can take together. You can go to a place that would mean somnething special to the two of you
2007-11-14 06:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by tom_gpp 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he's your husband now, its just a stop on the way, enjoy the island. He could have liked the island too! I'd be lucky enough to even be on a cruise ship!! Who cares what he did on the island. I'm sure its not going to bring up memories for him, he left her for a reason.
I can understand how you think and feel, but its just an island. You aren't getting married in the same place, sleeping in the same bed or wearing the same ring...
2007-11-14 14:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by camryangel33 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong for not wanting to visit the place your husband got married in. It will feel uncomfortable and it could rehash some old memories and feelings. I think because he is turning over a new leaf with a new wife he should take you to a new vacation spot.
2007-11-14 14:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stress over a minor detail like that. My husband got married to his ex on a college campus, which happens to be our favorite team's campus. We hold season tickets, so I go there often during the fall!
It's not like he is going there to reminisce on the "times of old" he is going there with you!
There is nothing wrong with feeling a little uncomfortable about it but there is a problem with making a huge deal of it.
She is obviously an ex for a reason, don't stress over it!
2007-11-14 14:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right to a point. You have feelings and they're valid. And, if you're only feeling this way about the place he got married in, it's probably ok. But, if you avoid every place he's taken his wife to on vacation or avoid doing things he's done with his ex, then you might be over the edge. But, you're probably right on this one.
2007-11-14 23:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Earth we live on is enormous. You could spend a lifetime exploring it and never see it all. I absolutely believe you are right to refuse to go to the island where your husband got married before, because there are millions of other places you could go. Example: would I go visit the church where my wife married her first husband? No way!
2007-11-14 14:38:30 · answer #6 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fiance wants to get married in Sicily, he loves it there (pristine beaches, great food, etc) and I'm sure it's lovely, but I know that he spent many summers there with his italian ex-gf . I politely declined his "great" idea.
Men are rather simple and practical creatures, in a man's head, if there is a restaurant that has great steak that's all they care about : the steak! and not the fact that they had their ex-wife rehersal dinner there LOL!!!!!
You are entitled to your feelings and that's perfectly normal, men wouldn't understand that women may have a problem with a particular place, because, they are, hmm, men.
Do not make a big issue about it, but be firm to pursue other choices if you don't feel confortable. You can say something like: "I would like to go somewhere that we can explore together and have a new experience..."
Good luck
2007-11-14 14:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is the big problem in your marriage? Not money, not infidelity, not abuse, but a vacation cruise destination? Amazing.
Edit:
Your edit makes no sense. He's MAD but not INSISTING. You have too much time on your hands, don't you?
2007-11-14 14:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to agree on your vacation destinations together. If one of you has issues with a particular place, there are LOTS of other places in the world.
2007-11-14 14:41:19 · answer #9 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being a bit petty.....so what is next? Not going to a restaurant that your husband and his ex frequented? Or a movie theater they may have went to? Just go visit the place....His ex is history...and you need to realize that...
My husband was married to his ex in Jamaica...and I would love to go there sometime...
2007-11-14 14:36:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋