Will a threesome (with my best friend) hurt our marriage or not?

Question

Question Details: My best friend and i have been talking about it for a while, and we both want to try it. we are not gay, just curious and my husbands birthday is at the end of this montha nd we were thinking about surprising him. the problem is when we have joked about it before, he says that he's not into that type of thing, do you think he's just saying that and he may like it or what. please help, his bday is coming soon, and would like some opinions.

Answer 1

Hey, I agree that it may ruin your friendship. Since I am not your friend call me! I am up for anything fun!

Answer 2

If it were me, I woldn't do it. What if he and your best friend seem to really hit it off? What if this makes thing weird between your best friend and you or between your best friend and him? Why can't you just dress up in something sexy and have a nice evening with him? I think the only way threesomes work without destrying some relationship is when you do it with someone your not close to. Idk..I've never had one, and I don't ever intend to that I know of. Your husband might find the idea repulsive. Maybe he is not attracted to your friend or maybe he loves you and when he married you intended only on having sex with his wife and not her friends. He might feel like you are betraying this too by wanting another person involved. You might even make him feel self conscious b/c he might think he is not satifying you or that sex is getting boring. Idk you or your husband, so I've covered this from every angle. The last angle I can think of is if you go along with it and everything turns out ok. Lets say the three of you do it and everyone enjoys it, you know it won't be the last time it happens if thats the case and eventually theres going to be negative feeling between somebody, think about the long term effects.

Answer 3

There are several things to consider. One is that often one of the couple will fell left out or jealous, of course this could apply to your friend as well. To counter this you should imagine what you would feel if your husband has sex with your friend while you watch, then suppose that he finishes but can't satisfy you. If this causes you some pangs of jealousy, you will need to be aware of this possibility. It is also possible that he may make comments about enjoying your friend afterward, these may cause jealousy but you should realize that it is the novel experience and not him being in love that motivates the comments. Similar things can make him jealous, i.e. he may think that you enjoyed your friend more than him, etc.

If you think you can handle the potential jealous and other issues (good communication is essential), then I'd plan it with your friend so that you both understand that it may not happen, any one of you might chicken out. You may want to make sure that all three of you understand that if one of you feels left out at any moment then they should do their best to increase the pleasure of the other two, and that all three of you should agree to ensure that each one gets at least one orgasm (no rolling over and falling asleep!).

There are a number of ways to start it off, both of you waiting in his favorite lingerie/outfits when he gets home is good. If you want to wait until a bit later, have her come for or after dinner, and watch a racy movie, but before it starts, each of you cuddle on a side of him. Use your imagination both before and during.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Yes, it can totally hurt your marriage.

Try to imagine if you will, how you will feel when you see your husband having sex with your best girlfriend. Even if it seems a turn-on at the time, it can quickly degenerate into feelings of jealousy, anger, and resentment. Think about this: what if he LIKES having sex with your friend? What if they continue fooling around after the threesome is over? What if he pays more attention to her in bed since she is a new experience? You will lose your best friend, and lose trust and repsect for your husband.

All that aside, the man said he wasn't in to it---what's not clear about that? Why force something on him (as a surprise) that has the possibility to ruin your marriage?

Answer 5

That is something you need to really think about. Maybe ask your husband (when you're getting him worked up) if he woul dlike it if there were two sets of hands on him and things like that. He may be interested (as many guys are) but doesn't want to tell you that for fear you will be mad at him. It is something me and my best friend did that with my husband several times and he loved it!
Unfortunately for him we are now divorced and I am happily in love and living with my best friend! Good for me and her, maybe not so much for him as he will probably never have a threesome again! :-)

Answer 6

Now, I sure everyone (well, most everyone) will say yes, it will hurt your marriage....but I say, 'not so fast'.

Try setting him down b/f his birthday and asking him 'straight' up if this is something he would like to try. If he says yes, then 'game on'.

If he seems hesitant, then I think I would shelve the idea...some guys don't like the idea of two women at the same time.

That being said, drop me an email if he 'thumbs down' the plan ;)

Answer 7

No he probably is afraid you would like it. Thats how I ended up being with a woman. My ex husband wanted to try it and I liked it better and found myself in love with my friend. We are still together 12 years later. Becareful and never say never.

Answer 8

If he doesn't want it, don't do it. Threesomes can ruin a commited relationship. Would you really be comfortable seeing your man have sex with your best friend?

Answer 9

even if he IS into it, you def shouldnt do it with your best friend! It may either ruin your marriage or your friendship....id say find someone else.

Answer 10

I would advise to respect what he said as well. If it was something that he was into then he would have jokingly agreed. But if he flat out said that hes not into that then i would believe him.