We got into a fight about dinner - was I wrong?

Question

For those of you who are married I have been cooking dinner for my husband almost every night. (We are newlyweds so maybe this will get old after a while lol!) Anyways we are in our 20s and we don't have any kids.
Well i made fajitas one night, this was near the beginning... I used stew beef instead of slicing up steak... I thought it would work fine but of course it was a little tough... When he came home I told him it was not going to be a perfect meal and I told him what was wrong with it. Well practically from the time he sat down he started complaining (while eating by the way). Of course after 15 minutes of this I got upset and told him I was done eating and I was going to study. Well as I walk away he says "...and you didn't cook it right that's why it is tough!" Well I just walked over, calmly and picked up all of the plates off of the table and put them in the refrigerator. He just looked totally stunned and sat there chewing the last horrible bite...

Then I went to study without saying anything. He came around later and told me I was sooooooo wrong for taking the plate from in front of him! Can you believe that?! I told him I was helping so that he didn't have to force himself to eat this atrocious meal!

This was about 2 months ago... and
I really couldn't cook that well at first but have gotten way better with practice. Now practically everything I make is delicious!
The point is I work and go to school too! I can find other things to do with my time than spend and 1 hour or more making dinner. Am I wrong to think that someone should not complain even if it is a horrible meal - just don't eat it and make something else - don't be insulting and rude! Please ladies and gents did I overreact in this situation?He still brings it up and tells me I was the one who committed the worse violation here!

Fortunately things have gone better since. He hasn't really complained much about dinner after this... Also he was more experienced at cooking than me so he has helped me along the way! And he does cook dinner sometimes too! So it is all working out... :)

Answer 1

Sounds like you need to learn how to cook. Take some classes at your local community college.

Answer 2

Sounds like he had a really bad day at work and this happens.
Of course you are right and he is wrong, that's a no brainer.
You have to be very careful of spoiling your spouse in a marriage. People begin to expect something they should not expect and then when they don't get it they get upset like little kids.
You sound like a stay at home wife and this is why I always say this is a terrible idea. You should get a job and start working, this will take this slave role off of you and rather you know it or not, that is what you basically are. He makes all the jack and money is power and thereforeyou are now responsible for EVERYTHING else and the minute you mess up, you're going to hear about it.
You guys are young newlyweds but youbetter figure this chit out in a hurry! He feels he has the right to chastise you and how dare you get upset aboutit.

Then again if you want to be his slave hoe, follow Valerie X's advice.

Answer 3

It sounds like he was being a little inconsiderate, but I can't imagine it was THAT bad. I think that perhaps having more of a sense of humor about the meal would have helped, but he needs to see that this kind of cooking failure is going to make you feel insecure about your skills. I think you should tell him that you felt upset because even though you know you made a mistake in how the meal was cooked, you still felt like it was wrong of him to complain so loudly. Just because you are married doesn't mean you should lose your manners!

My wife does the cooking for us because I can't boil water without ruining the stove somehow, but I do know that for fajitas or carne asada she uses flank steak because it is easy to cut into strips and isn't very tough.

Answer 4

I don't think you were wrong. You told him you didn't think the meal was really good, but he chose to elaborate and berate the meal (and your efforts) anyway. I would have taken his plate and flushed the remainder down the toilet so there would be nothing he could eat unless he fixed it!

Quit fixing dinner every night. It obviously isn't really appreciated. Your husband can either appreciate the hard work you do or he can fend for himself at dinnertime and learn to get off his butt and cook!

Hold your ground on this one, friend. Your husband was being a total jerk-off when you made your best effort, made a mistake, and told him about it. He should have been a real man, told you the meal was okay and that he appreciated the simple fact that you made dinner for him when you didn't have to.

Answer 5

sounds like you are both stressed out. i dont think you were wrong...but you definately could have laughed over the situation. nobody is perfect and he should have been more respectful of the fact that you cooked fro him when you didnt have to. he easily could have cooked for himself too. and you are not a chef, so why should every meal be a gourmet masterpiece. I think I would have just told him if he was so unsatisfied, then have him cook dinner from now on. when his turns out not as delicious as planned, then you can politely tell him that it isnt as easy as it seems to be perfect at everything.

Answer 6

Yeah that is something that will get old after like 1 or 2 years lol, but if you told him right before he started eating he should not have done that,and don't worry you will have the chance to get back at him they make mistakes too.Take care and keep it up with the cooking.

Answer 7

My hubby used to give commentaries on my meals all the time. At first I ignored it, then one day I thought enough. We had guests for brunch and he said something about the way I stirred pancakes. He had gained about 30 pounds since we got married so I jokingly said-"anybody can look at you and see I can't cook. Why your starving to death!" Then later he made a comment about my peeling potatoes-I took him the knife and bowl of potatoes to finish the meal while I sat in front of the tv. I have not had a complaint since that day.

Answer 8

No you was not wrong! He is wrong! Me and my husband have been married for almost a year now and I have yet to make a good dinner! Me and my husband got in a few fights over it but now we just laugh about it. Your husband needs to know that you are trying your best and it is going to be like that for a while! We will get better at cooking but untill then I think they need to just grin and bear it!

Answer 9

He acted like a dick. And now....after 2 months he's still bringing it up? He's an even bigger dick.

Hun...he'd better get his head on straight. Either that or do like I did. married 25 years and one week...a week...my wife started complaining about my cooking (gourmet I might add).

After she ended up eating Kraft mac and cheese, hot dogs and the occasional frozen burrito from Old El Paso....she saw the light. Especially since I feasted on beef burgundy with fresh pealr onions, sliced portabello mushrooms served over homemade spatzel and a chilled chardonnay.

Answer 10

lol i made fajitas last night, well sorta, i used stew meat, rice and mushroom gravy and used a garlic pita wrap, they were super good and my man loved them. i always use stew meat in my wraps like that, if you over cook them yah it will be tough but big deal, chew a few extra times. I dont know, i think he should have kept his mouth shut and appreciated the effort from you. You should have left his plate alone and just left the table without such a scene.

Answer 11

Next time tell him to cook it his self your not his mother..If something like this pissed him off already.get ready for the long haul..what an a**..never bite the hand that feeds you. Dont cook tonight let him do it his self when he gets off work..hell I cook my own dinner when I get of work..I do my own laundry..clean the house who says you have to do it all ...marriage is 50/50..this isn't the 50's...both ppl have to work to make ends meet now days not unless your rich..Tell him to get over it it's just dinner.