2007-11-14 05:36:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely without a doubt. Your first priority has to be your child and you owe it to her to speak up.
With that being said, what can you honestly do with an adult? You cant tell her what to do and you cant make her do anything. All you can really do is sit her down, convey your thoughts and ask her to reconsider. If you do anything more, you will be putting your relationship with her at risk.
But you do have to say something. If all your talking did nothing and she still wanted to marry him, you cant stop it. As a father, I would definately walk up to that guy and explain in no uncertain terms that I understand that they will get married and that you will respect him for that. I would explain that you will not hold his past against him. But I would make perfectly clear that if I even remotely suspected that he was harming my daughter, I would do my damnest to make sure his remaining time on earth would be as painful and miserable as I possibly could. With that said, I would smile and say "welcome to the family".
Fact is that shes an adult. Your days of making decisions for her are over. All you can do is voice what you think (to her) and hope for the best. But it would be important that you let her know it is not because you dislike him but out of concern and love for her. Tell her that if they do go through, you will not hold anything against him as long as nothing happens to her.
Then spend the next couple of years watching and worrying your *** off.
2007-11-14 06:06:57 · answer #1 · answered by catfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't try to stop them. Usually it is difficult to control someone who is already an adult.
What you could try is talking about the facts. If you do truely know the person physically or via mind-games harmed the first wife, then it is your polite duty to reveal these facts and let your child make up their mind. If they don't seem to be going to right direction, try reinforcing questions like "Are you really sure about this?" and "It is not too late to walk away from this situation."
Best of luck to you.....Finn.
2007-11-14 05:42:03 · answer #2 · answered by Finn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Harmed how - and how do you know? and does the child know?? I don't think you can successfully - nor should you - stop anyone from that... Tell the child that you are concerned ONCE and leave it at that! After that just wait and be there if and when the child needs you!
If you try to separate them or stop them - you are just gonna lose your child...
2007-11-14 05:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he given any evidence he has harmed your daughter
people do change maybe he learned his leasson the 1st time around and wants someone which in this case happens to be your daughter to give him a 2nd chance. If you are that concered have a sit down with both your daughter and her future husband and tell them your concerns ,you have that right as a parent
2007-11-14 05:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by Dan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant stop anyone from doing anything, especially if they are an adult, even your child. but as their parent you have the right to bring it to their attention that maybe they need help first before they open another door that could be dangerous for them or others. speak up though, because you will regret it if you dont.
2007-11-14 05:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by Evelyne L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes most defiantly why in the world you want to get involved in that ,if he has already harmed his first wife who he loved enough to marry that how would the new wife be any different
2007-11-14 08:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I probably would, but I don't think it would work. When someone feels, "this is the one", it is hard to hear anyone say anything different. It is also possible to push her into the relationship if she felt she had to go against you. This is a tough one. Let her know you will always love her. Keep the door open.
2007-11-17 11:37:12 · answer #7 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad situation and I feel for you on this one. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do without great power and even then it would come at a cost.
Just have to be there to guide and help when things get low. I agree with others here that you should make it known (privately) about your concerns and then let it go.
2007-11-14 05:43:06 · answer #8 · answered by Avatar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would certainly express my concerns - but I don't think you can legally stop an adult from marrying the person of their choice.
2007-11-14 05:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't stop your child . it's his decision. let me tell you something. if the marriage goes wrong , then your son will know. he will learn from his mistakes. it's good to give advice , but what you can do is pray.
2007-11-14 05:46:33 · answer #10 · answered by rodriguez m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋