fiancee says he quit but i dont think so?

Question

my fiancee, i have been with for 5 years, we have a 21 month old sn togther and i have a 9 yr old daughter...he went to jail for 30 days 3 months ago and quit smoking or so he says but everyday, he comes home smelling like smoke...he says its because he is around his smoking customers all day but my mother smoked and i did not smell like smoke...how can i really find out if he is smoking? my mother died very suddenly at age 64 yrs old...5 days before my 2nd son was born...she went in for a simple colon surgery and came out a vegetable because of her smoking ultimitally killed her..so i am totally againist being with someone who smokes

he landed in jail for a suspended license for not paying his traffic fines not something really serious like drugs

Answer 1

smell his fingers when he gets home.....

Answer 2

If he is works in a smoke environment and not smoking, he could have a faint smoke smell on him. Problem is, he is around people who smoke and after such a short time he will cave in and smoke also, which I suspect he has. A strong smoke odor is almost certainly a sign he is smoking. Nicotine testing kits are cheap. See this web site (there are also many others) to get one: http://www.ipassedmydrugtest.com/_nicotine_drug_test_kits.asp

Get the test first then ask him to take it (in front of you, of course). If he were telling the truth, he should not be too upset, but my guess is he has gotten caught in a lie and will get pissed off and refuse. Treat a refusal as an admittance of guilt and let him know that. You will have to decide where to go from there.

Answer 3

My husband smokes, but only at work(so he says). He told me that he would quit by the time I was 6 months pregnant with our daughter. She is now 2 1/2 years old. I am now pregnant with our third child, due anytime. He tried to tell me that he was trying to quit months ago, but he still comes home smelling like smoke. He gives me all kinds of excuses. I know for a fact that he works around people that smoke. I can smell it on his mustache and can sometimes even taste it on his lips when he comes home from work. That is how I knew he was still smoking. I finally confronted him about it and told him to just be honest with me and he confessed. I told him that I was dissapointed that he would lie to me, but that I was not angry with him. I also offered to help him any way that I could. He is now down to just 3 cigarrettes a day.

Answer 4

You can smell like smoke just being around those who do smoke. You may not have noticed yourself smelling like smoke when you were with your mother, because you were use to it. I never noticed the smell on myself when my dad smoked, but now, when others have been smoking or even around smokers, you can smell it. Don't hang him out to dry yet. In my own opinion, he probably is smoking, but the more you harass him about it, the more he will hid it from you. If he is smoking a really good product to help him quit is Chantex. It is by prescription only. GOOD LUCK

dd

Answer 5

You can't change someone else's habits. If he doesn't want to quit, he's not going to and constant harping from you is only going to stress him out and make him want a cig that much more. We're all going to die of something at some point anyway.

I don't smoke but if I had someone constantly in my ear telling me what to do for whatever reason, I'd get rid of him. Take him as he is or not at all. I'm sure he didn't just start smoking a month ago. He was probably a smoker when you met him and if you weren't interested you should have kept walking.

Answer 6

honestly u r already pretty much answering ur own ? if he smells like pure smoke and u didn't being around ur mother he's smoking second u don't want to b with someone that smokes tell him if he doesn't stop then u r going to stop being with him it's that simple not to end the relationship but the altimatum is that simple i even though i don't know him or u feel good about this i think he''s still denie it but hell stop smoking at the thought of losing his family he'll stop good luck if he doesn't stop u have 2 make sure u put ur foot down hunny good luck agin hope all works out god bless

Answer 7

Chances are his is smoking; that you cannot change and making him feel guilty won't help either. He has to want to quit, and likely will when he's ready. Please remember, this is an ADDICTION! It's the most addictive substance there is. If he's hiding it, it's because he knows you'll be disappointed (or worse by the sounds of your question). By the way, did you know that everyone has an addiction? Some are more obvious than others, some are easier to pick on too! Look at overeaters, compulsive shoppers, alcoholics, gamblers.

Answer 8

To a certain degree, he could smell like smoke by being around people who do, but what i would watch for is him leaving the house for short periods of time. Volunteering to go get bread or soda from down the street. that type of thing. From what you said he probably has had a few at work but be careful of accusing him because if your wrong it will hurt your relationship.

Answer 9

i dont smoke but everyone in my house does and all my stuff reaks like cigarettes do u really feel u cant trust him? because then u guys need to talk this out but it really can be just being around it u may not have noticed that u smelled like i dont unless im in a completely smoke free house like my friends houses where no one has ever smoked then i would realize all my stuff smelled so bad like cigarettes

Answer 10

5 yrs ,2 kids, dad in & out of jail,maybe smokes. Go ahead be as you said:(so i am totally againist being with someone who smokes)

Answer 11

If you think he is lying he probably is. I work with smokers and go out on break with them everyday. I am not a smoker and I can't say that I ever smell like smoke. It sounds to me like he is lying to you. You need to confront him and give him an ultimatum to protect yourself and your kids. When he tells you again that he has quit and it is just his customers' smoke on him, you tell him that you're ultimatum applies if YOU believe he is still smoking, not on what he tells you. If you can't trust him it's probably not a good idea to marry the guy. Also, you should smell his fingers, that is a good indication of whether or not he is smoking. Good luck!