I really want to have a baby, but I am scared to death of giving birth?

Question

I am so scared for the actual act of giving birth. I do not like doctors and surgeries or hospitals. I am so afraid of the pain during and after. Seeing movies and hearing horror stories from other women about how they were cut down there have made me so petrified. I am not pregnant yet, I am afraid to get pregnant because then I know I will have to go through with the birth. Do you have any words of wisdom for me? Was it as bad as you thought?

Is it true they cut you to help get it out? My friends sister just had this happen. Does this happen often or only in rare cases?

Answer 1

You are afraid because you have never given birth before. You are afraid of the unknown. I would suggest you learn about the birthing experience by taking out books, watching online birth videos and looking into different ways of dealing with the pain besides medicine.

The bradley method is a great way to handle the pain. If you go on the website (http://www.bradleybirth.com/) , you will learn the different stages of birth and how to know when you are in each stage and how to handle it when it comes. Its different with each person, so you can't expect that yours will be like anyone elses. But, it is manageable if you are informed. Do some research - you will feel MUCH better.

Answer 2

Research and find a good doctor, or a midwife. My mom told me birth stories of the terrible way she was treated and the hard time she had. Find a doctor that does not do an episiotomy very often. I was only cut the first time, because of fetal distress. I had three more and I never had stitches with any of the others. Where I had my last baby, a lady there had a baby that weighed 11 lb. 3 oz. and she did not need any stitches! I did not want to have the hard time my mom had, so I resolved to do things differently. First, I went to a birth center instead of the hospital. I had natural childbirth using the Bradley method. The Bradley method uses complete relaxation to prevent uterine cramps. Usually, a cramping uterus is what causes much of the pain of labor. Prevent cramps and the main pain is just the cervix stretching. I have had hunger pains before that were worse than labor. I was not even sore after I had my last one. Read up about the Bradley method. It is the safest and least painful way to have a baby. The c-sec rate is 5% or less and over 90% of those who use it do not need pain medication. Also, you are allowed to eat during labor. I did not want to go 20 hours or more without eating.
I actually enjoyed my births. I did not know that was possible until I had four using the Bradley method.

Answer 3

Let me tell you a story about a 17 year old girl who was pregnant. Her Mom took her took Lamaze classes. At the first class the girl got up in front of the class in tears and said "no, way, there must be an easier way to have a baby. I want this thing cut out of me and then she ran out of the class. The mother went after her to calm her down and a nurse came out in the hall to talk to them. After several minutes the girl was calmed down and went back into join the class. Each week the classes were more informative and the 17 year old Mom seemed more at ease.

Then she went into labor and her water broke and her fear mounted. Her Mom helped her remember the birthing classes and breathing routine but the young mother was afraid. The doctor was able to help with a lot and things really calmed her down and although the whole process took over 24 hours start to finish as soon as the baby was born the young Mom never mention the word fear or pain again.

A couple of morals to this story. First have someone around you that you can trust completely, know that when your baby arrives you forget the pain and all you know is how happy you are to be a Mom. That young mom graduated from high school, went to college, married now has 3 kids,and I am their Grandma. Oh,the baby that was born graduates from high school 2008 and is going to college to be a nurse. The circle of life.

Answer 4

When I got pregnant I welcomed natural childbirth with open arms. Carrying the baby was the greatest things, feeling and seeing it move made it all worth while. My husband was scared more than I was because I wasn't very big, but bore a big belly. As time approached the having my son, I got more excited and more exhausted. In other words I could wait for the baby to be born. However, I didn't have natural childbirth instead because of blood pressure problems I had to be induced then after thirteen hours of no baby yet, I had to have a cesarean. I must say that was the scariest moment that changed my life when my doc said "let's get that baby out, I'm going to prep you for surgery" but when I look back I think of all the things that could of been different and I could of changed to lessen the risk of surgery. However, nothing compares to this little one that is a beautiful blue eyed walking toddler. Being a mom, it's hard, having a child even more difficult but you forget the pain and you feel better when you see your child grow.

Answer 5

Yes, there are many 'icky' parts of being pregnant, followed up by the 'big pain' of going through labor ... but the PRIZE they hand you at the end of that is the most AMAZING thing you can ever experience. You do have the 'option' of adopting a child and raising that one as your own, and that can give you a different kind of 'miracle' to watch grow into an adult. But, if you really want to 'have a baby' then you just have to learn to 'accept' that your body is going to change, and to accept the pain, too ... but let me tell you that there is a GOOD REASON that women are the ones who get pregnant ... it's because we have a much higher PAIN THRESHOLD than men do. Quit 'scaring yourself' about the 'act' of giving birth, and go to the nursery and look into the window at those brand new babies. If you have a friend who has had one, ask her how it 'smells so good' and how wonderful it can be to put that little person to your breast and feed it with your own body.
Yes, I've given birth to a baby ... FIVE TIMES. Was it as 'bad' as I thought ... NO WAY. It's the BEST THING I've ever done in my life, because those kids are now adults and are starting to have kids of their own ... and I've already got two 'extra special prizes' in my granddaughters ... and more to come someday.

Answer 6

This is sad that women's exaggerations of the pain has hindered a woman from getting pregnant. Alot of women want sympathy or just an excuse to be a B*T*H. My daughters friend was so mean to her husband when she was in labor. It was ridiculous. I felt so sorry for him that I left. IT IS NOT THAT BAD. I will use the example that I always use on here....
I have 3 children and I had them all natural. No c-section and no pain meds.
I also have a tattoo on my lower back that took three hours to put on.
I WOULD RATHER GIVE BIRTH. Honest.
Giving birth is an awesome experience. I wouldn't have changed a thing. I did have to get cut (episiotomy) but they give you a shot to numb you before they cut you, and you don't feel it.
Don't let people or movies scare you. It really isn't like that.

Answer 7

I am somewhat afraid too (haven't had any kids yet) but I plan on getting a doulah - someone to calm me down and help me cope with the pain. A number of my friends have had doulahs and said that they are well worth the money and the piece of mind. Don't get my wrong, I'd want my partner to be there too but having another woman there, focusing on my needs when I am afraid is very calming. Also, I think the benefits out weight the costs. I also couldn't imagine having this opportunity in life and not experiencing it (carrying a baby and raising and nurturing a baby), so I guess I'll just have to take the plunge.

Cheers!

Answer 8

Almost every woman has fear of giving birth. I was terrified when I was pregnant with my son. Once you have an epideral it is not that bad. People make it out to be worse than it really is. I had a lot of complications with giving birth, but I would do it all over again in a heart beat. Once you see that baby in your arms you forget about everything else. If you truly want to have a baby then go for it. Find an OB that you are comfortable with and trust. I think that is what helped me the most because I knew my doctor would do everything possible to keep me in as little pain as possible and keep me and the baby safe. I think once you have a baby you will realize that it is not as terrifying as a lot of people make it out to be. And it helps to have the support of your significant other and family and friends. Good luck.

Answer 9

I have four kids.. and Im not going to lie.. it is painful. BUT if you think about it so many women have gone through it and still live..lol.. Its nature and somehow the pain becomes miniscule.. when you are hold such a precious baby afterwards. After my first labor.. I thought to myself "Why the hell do women put themselve through this".. then you forget.. and as I was heading towards the hospital with the second I was like damn.. how can I have forgotten about this pain?.. LOL.. but here I am 4 kids later.. and I do not regret it at all. Also, there are meds out there and other things that make it easier than in the past.

Answer 10

It's nothing to be that scared about,or none of us would do it! And the drugs today you can be numb from the chest down! And then there's always the fact before you get finished holding your baby the first time you forget the pain. If someone asked you what it felt like a few hours after delivery, you couldn't tell them. It's weird but true