What are the signs of a cheating relationship/marriage? Anyone have any experience in this department... I know theres going to be a lot of answers on this one... Reason I want to know is my husband started acting funny 2 weeks ago and I just found out he has gotten divorce papers without even telling me he had got them!!! I havent done anything to make him upset with me and he came back from a trip two weeks ago and started to treat me differently saying he wasnt attracted to me anymore and that he just wasnt happy with our relationship. He gave me an excuse for the reason he was acting funny when I asked him and it was that he was planning a suprise for me and that he needed me to go visit some friends for a week.... this 'suprise' turned out to be a lie. He also doesn't want to spend time with me anymore or go places and he doesn't want to be at home anymore. I just cant believe that things would all go to hell like this for no reason in two weeks...what do you think?
2007-11-14 03:08:50 · 12 answers · asked by ~*CareBear*~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, to answer some of your questions on this we have talked about this A LOT and what I've gotten out of it is that in his mind divorce is the answer and hes not going to even try so save our marriage. I've seen other signs of cheating before this happened, so I know its a possiblity. I know its kind of a dumb question to ask without you knowing all the details but I just need to know if these are the signs and has this happened to other ppl?
2007-11-14 03:28:46 · update #1
i'm sorry to here that but he doesn't want to save the marriage and he is cheating and those are the signs sweetie you know you know that he is and you love him a is denial and we've all been there but the # one thing is that he wants it and doesn't want to save it and there is nothing you can do let him be selfish he isn't worth it now you get the chance to find a real man and your husband isn't your soul mate and you shouldn't try to save it alli can say is sign the papers and take half if not everything because he is cheated and the other women may leave because he has no money take two steps in front of him get a lawyer get evidince of him cheating courts don't take that lightly and i wise you the best of luck and i hope you take some of what i said into mind because if not you will regret it us women need to stand for ourself listen to your head not your heart
2007-11-14 04:32:55 · answer #1 · answered by whatzup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, there are none if the one cheating doesn't want there to be any. When I was younger and way dumber, I cheated a lot. A whole lot. My husband at the time did not know. In my immaturity, I didn't feel the guilt of it until after we'd already broken up and I was in another relationship. The guilt made me not want to ever cheat again, but my first husband still doesn't know about it and I've been remarried for years. Usually, when a person is cheating because of an mental or emotional deficiency in their marriage, you can tell. They may become distant. Conversation will probably be short. Sometimes they'll be easy to irritate. But when a person is cheating simply because they aren't getting enough or quality sex, as was the case with me, there may be no signs because this person has the capability of separating love from sex, and often won't feel guilt. They're selfishly careful. They'll take the time to wipe their face, hands, and neck to avoid you smelling another person on them. They'll call you when they're supposed to. They'll come home when you expect them to. They'll have sex with you. They'll be just as intimate as they ever was. Nothing about their routine will change really because the problem isn't you. They aren't doing it because they no longer want you but because what they're getting isn't enough, and they're too selfish to find other ways to sustain themselves and/or unwilling to communicate this.
2016-05-23 03:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by margurite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep those are some red flags all right. My advice to you may be different from others you will receive. It is quite likely he is getting his resources together to leave, espcially since he already has divorce papers. Get your hands on as much $$ as you can from joint accounts, etc. Close credit cards or do whatever you can to freeze assets BEFORE he files!
Then go talk to an attorney, get a private investigator and get proof. Do all this BEFORE you confront him and let him know that you are on to him. Only when you are in a position of strength will you be able to do any confronting or negotiating. Maybe you can save the marriage; maybe you can't. But you will have a better chance either way if you don't just sit around and let him clean out the bank accounts and run up a whole bunch of debt on his gf or whatever he is doing behind your back.
Good luck!
2007-11-14 03:15:25 · answer #3 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your ducks in a row and quickly. It sounds to me like he has been planning this for a while, so it may be too late. You need to find a lawyer, too, a good one. I am sorry this has happened, but some men (and women) think the grass is always greener on the other side; stupid thought!! Keep this thought in mind - once a cheater always a cheater; meaning, he will more than likely cheat on "her" too!! Good luck! It sounds to me like you would be better off without him!
2007-11-14 05:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, there's no excuse for cheating. People just conjure up reasons to make themselves feel better or "justified". Let him know that you know. Tell him it doesn't matter how you found out, but you did. Maybe that'll get a confession out of him so you can move on and get some resolution...
2007-11-14 03:22:14 · answer #5 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like something is up. He already got divroce papers? WTF? Maybe hes not cheating though, I mean, why would he divorce you after cheating for only 2 weeks? Maybe he has been cheating longer but you didn't see any signs?
If he is unhappy you really have no choice but to give him the divorce. If you don't he'll makey our life hell until you agree to it.
2007-11-14 03:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by Cassandra C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um he went and got divorce papers without you knowing?
Have you ASKED him?
I don't know what to tell you. Maybe? But maybe he's been unhappy for a long time and just reached a point where he didn't care anymore. I have no idea.
TALK to him. Find out what's wrong. Don't let him out of this. TALK. Not scream, nag, cry etc. TALK.
2007-11-14 03:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
yeah my ex started acting strange like that too when he began to cheat what you need to do is fix yourself up go do somthing exciting for yourself and youll begin too see that divorce is not always a bad thing especially from this asshole
2007-11-14 03:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even Helen Keller could see he is cheating!!!
2007-11-14 03:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by twistie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh there is a reason....I won't speculate cheating because I don't know you or him. But there is a reason...he could be gay, you could be a nagging *****, he could be cheating, you could be boring to him. What ever it is, he over being married to you. Move on.
2007-11-14 03:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋