She WONT be seeing my son anymore. we caught her smoking IN THE HOUSE. she promised she had stopped. I dont want to flip out like my instincts tell me to. Just need to calmly tell her her babysitting services are no longer needed and i wont be bringing my son over there to visit til hes 18. AHHHHHHHHHH! i want to strangle her, my babys only 2 months, how could u blow smoke around ur own grandson? anybody been thru this?
2007-11-14 02:40:04 · 10 answers · asked by jean grey 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
To all the SLOW READERS, i said i wont be BRINGING HIM OVER THERE TO VISIT. shes welcome to come to my smoke free house and see him.
2007-11-14 03:08:30 · update #1
oh and my sons father TOTALLY agrees with me, he just doesnt want to break the news as harshly as i would.
2007-11-14 03:09:55 · update #2
OMG that 1st poster is wrong, grandparents have no visitation rights over their grandchild period. If the parents don't want her anywhere near their son then that's it period. I would kill my MIL if I found her smoking near my 2 month old, what the hell is she thinking. Talk to her about it nicely....I'd be flipping too!
2007-11-14 02:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I think telling her she cannot see him until he's 18 is going a little overboard. I understand you want the best for your baby and are just watching out for his safety. But this is his grandmother. Tell her smoking is ONLY allowed outdoors and if you catch her again inside that she will no longer be able to babysit. Don't take ALL her privileges away. Remind her of the hazards of second hand smoke, especially for a baby. In the end I doubt she wants to harm her grandson, some people just forget to think rationally for a few minutes. However, in the end, if this doesn't seem to stop then you may need to take more drastic measures with her(i.e. - not visiting her/not letting her see him for awhile) and maybe that will get the point across. Good luck.
2007-11-14 02:49:39 · answer #2 · answered by N and A's Momma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an addict. He can't just stop, and for him to stop he has to want to stop. Constantly pressure on him. Get his friends and family to pressure him. Tell him that he would be sexier if he stopped smoking. Make that non-smokers are sexier than smokers, cooler than smokers, etc. Constantly remind him that he is inferior to non-smokers, and he could become much more desirable if only he could give up his cigarettes. Leave subtle messages around the place about how uncool smoking is. Make a face and leave whenever he smokes. No sex when he smells like smoke. Things like that. You need to have both the subtle and the overt to make him want to stop, and it won't work unless you have the help of his friends and family. Point out any subtle advertising for smoking, or anything that glamorises smoking, and make fun of it - haha people really think that will get people to smoke more, haha people used to think that smoking was cool, but now we know it's not. Gee, isn't it terrible people still support smoking, etc. When he eventually says he would like to quit, get him to seek help. Things like quitline. He'll have to start gradually. Don't try to get him to give up cold turkey.
2016-04-04 00:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How disgusting...also Kleighsmom is VERY wrong...there is nothing that says you HAVE to allow inlaws to see your children...it is not their child and they do not have legal rights.
My family are smokers and when I stayed there for 3 weeks after my baby was born I made the entire household go outside! The weren't pleased about it but they understood and did it...your MIL is from a different generation but she has to accept the rules.....you'll just have to tell her...there's no nice way around it is there?
Just be clear and tell her she is welcome to come and see him at your home but you wont be leaving him at her house anymore...stress that you understand how smoking is very addictive and that you dont resent her habit...just that it's best for your son not to be in an athmosphere where there has been smoke in the last 24 hours....which is true...if she smokes in her home an hour BEFORE he goes there...there is residue in the air.
2007-11-14 03:01:43 · answer #4 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell her if she wants to smoke it is okay to take it outside, while he sleeps, but if you catch her smoking in your house again around the baby then you will not let her see him unsupervised. Maybe even buy some nicorette gum that she can chew to get rid of the urge. Good luck to you.
2007-11-14 02:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by bluefroggy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to put out (the cigs) or get out...
Seriously, though, the great grandmother to our son is a big time smoker. I mean, her walls in her house are smoke stained. We will not go into the house with him. She either has to meet us out at someone's house or we stand outside on her porch.
2007-11-14 02:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Let her watch your son (her grandson) at YOUR house and there's a rule...NO SMOKING inside. No I certainly don't think that you think you can make her QUIT smoking? Don't be insane. She has rights as a grandparent, however she doesn't need to smoke inside or near the baby. I understand YOU...however just tell her that you want the baby nowhere NEAR smoke. Period
2007-11-14 02:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by OMGiamgoingNUTS 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I am in the same boat...my husbands family...all 7 btohers and sisters, smoke like chimneys...we dont go to his family functions often!
2007-11-14 03:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off you cant. she has legal rights to see the child under the grandparents law. tell her theres to be no smoking in your home and never leave him in your home alone with her. you cant control what goes on in her home
think long and hard about this. do you want to lose your husband and possibly your child over something soo stupid. i know you dont. pick your battles. tell her no smoking in your home. when you are in her home and see her light up leave or ask her if she would mind going outside.
this is your husbands mother you will lose your husband if you tell her you will no longer allow her to see your child. you also need to discuss this with your husband and have him talk to her not you
also you need to grow up a bit and mature the world doesnt revolve around you and what you want
i am not wrong guys i know someone who is dealing with this type of thing her daughter refuses to bring her grandkids to her. the courts gave her legal visitation it can be done
2007-11-14 02:52:29 · answer #9 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 2⤊ 5⤋
have your husband tell her so that u r not the bad guy. its easier for mothers to forgive their son then it is for them to forgive their daughter in law.
2007-11-14 03:30:21 · answer #10 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋