Our son is 5 months old and loves his daddy so much. He lights up when daddy is around and usually needs to be held and kissed by him for a couple minutes before he'll go to bed. Daddy can't hold a job. 34 years old and still loses his job every 30-60 days. We've been together going on 3 years and he's never held down a job. He got fired again yesterday after less than a month at his job. He was unemployed for most of my pregnancy and finally got a really good job a month before our son was due then quit the job 2 weeks after our son was born. He's had three jobs since then, all crappy and fired or quit all of them. We're going on our third crappy holiday season because he can't hold a job. I'm sooo tired of crying, worrying, being broke and not being able to pay the bills. I've tried to kick him out for a couple of years but he says he has nowhere to go, no money and we are a family and should stick together. I can't bear to hurt my son but what can I do?
2007-11-14 02:13:47 · 35 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I'd settle for him working at McDonald's as long as he held a job and showed he gave a damn.
2007-11-14 02:19:28 · update #1
BOth of you are to blame - YOU because you decided to have a child with a lazy and irresponsible person and HIM because he is not being a decent man and SUPPORTING this so called family he loves or depends on. He needs to pull his own weight and grow some ballz.
How are you guys getting $$ to begin with, you just had a child?!?!? Did you push the kid out and go back to work?
Do not worry about if your 5 month old son will miss him or not, what you need to worry about is if you will be homeless and will have to give up the kid.
At 5 months, your son will not remember the father or anyone in this case. After the age of 3 children are developed to remeber certain things in there life.
Resolution - either get rid of the looser and start taking of yourself and that child, this guy sounds like dead weight.
2007-11-14 02:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by Asian Mami 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its a tuff situation. And he isn acting much like a man but doing this,,,, but your son doesnt know that. All he knows is that he has a daddy and he loves him. I think the main question it comes down to is....... Is it bothering you so much to the point that its affecting the way you take care of your son. Is it making you so unhappy that your son would be able to see it. You have to ask your self if staying with the father is worth it. How is he with your son???? Is he a good father otherwise???? No ones perfect and i hope u 2 can get through it for everyones sake. But if you really cant handle it, then its ok to seperate. Maybe he should try councling or you could get a parttime job.He needs to support his famliy, There has to be something going on with him if u he cant hold a job. The best of Luck!!!!!
2007-11-14 02:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, lets be realistic. I am not trying to be cruel or mean, this is the REALITY of the situation:
You CHOOSE him to be the father of your child. You KNEW this before you got pregnant. Now you are complaining about it. STOP! You and only you can change this situation. First, move in with family or friends. Leave him! Your son does not need this man/child as an example of how a MAN behaves.
You need to take responsibility for this. This is your baby. You need to support him. Move out, get a job and support yourself and your son. Stay away from all men until you are better set to make the correct choices for you and your sons future. Good luck and DO NOT LOOK BACK! You are the only one that can change this mess.
Take care of your child FIRST!
2007-11-14 02:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a trial separation is called for. He's an adult and needs to act like it. As long as you don't keep your child away from him out of spite, you can still have a loving and happy home together.
My parents were separated soon after I was born but I had equal time with both parents and actually grew up to be a daddy's girl. Looking back, I really don't feel like I missed out on anything because while they didn't live together, I still had both parents around. It was for the best, because I didn't have to grow up with my parents arguing, my mom crying daily, or witnessing the physical fights like my oldest sisters did.
If you've had the same talks and arguments over and over, I think you need to give him an ultimatum and force him to act upon his promises. His choices not only affect him but you and your son as a family. Best of luck to you. You'll be in my thoughts.
2007-11-14 02:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by Astragalo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to kick him out. he needs to learn a lesson in tough love in this. his time to be a man has long since past and he needs a swift kick in the butt. he needs to see that the path he is on is going to make him lose everything that is most important in his life. you dont just quit a good job, for any reason. espically when you have a child and woman to support. as hard as this will be on you and your son it will be the best thing you could ever do for this man. he needs to see that things he has going are hanging by a thread and something is going to give inless he gets his act together. if he never comes back, though im sure he will, then honey you dont need him. you dont even need him now. you need to take you and the baby into account here. what kind of role model is he anyway? yes hes his father but if he cant be the best damn father he could be to him then he shouldnt be around. you dont half *** be a man and you dont half *** being a father. i hope it all works out for the best. take a deep breath and remember that whatever you do its for the best. ^_^ stand strong.
2007-11-14 02:25:04 · answer #5 · answered by AnGeL.SlayeR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think first of all you should consider your love for him. do you love him enough to face more challenges, esp. financially? why does he lose his job all the time anyway? maybe he has an attitude problem? focus on the why.. the two of you should talk about it, long and hard too so you can do something about it.. .2nd, can you cope with being a single parent? it wont be easy u know being a father and mother at the same time... 3rd, your baby is still small, he wont even remember his daddys face if you do leave ur husband now.. but all in all you have to think these factors over and over. and when you finally decide, take a stand.
2007-11-14 02:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by baby portz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boot him. It isn't shouldn't be your problem that he can't hold a job - and what is going to hurt your baby more: Keeping him around or not? He has to be a financial burden on you, especially with a new baby, and apparently he isn't thinking of you and your son if he keeps getting fired or quitting.
The only other thing you can do is keep putting up with it and hope that he comes to realize what he is doing to you and your family.
2007-11-14 02:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by IJToomer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Encourage him to pursue something he enjoys. Even if it means you going to work for a while..There is nothing worse than doing something you hate everyday!
Communicate with him on what you are feeling.. Figure out why he can't hold a job..and fix the problem. Especially before breaking up your family. Good Luck!
2007-11-14 06:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You leave him. Just go on and start your own life and if he really really loves you he will go out and find a job that he can keep. He has to understand the importance of it. If he doesnt come around then oh well he was not meant you. You are suppose to be happy, whether you love him or not your own happiness is more important. But you leaving him will be his wake up call!
2007-11-14 02:20:15 · answer #9 · answered by chaseslaws12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to kick him out until he can hold down a job. Nothing permanent, just tell him he can't come home until he has a good job and has held it down for a couple months.
2007-11-14 02:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by Chewy_Is_My_Co_Pilot 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋