My boyfriend and I are going to visit my granny who is almost 90 years old. The problem though is that all she knows about him is what my father told her and he hates my boyfriend because he's black. I don't know if she'll be more racist since she's older or if she'll be more accepting since she's lonely. I am not looking forward to it because I am expecting that we'll get in a racial argument then she'll have a heart attack and keel over. I need advice on how to handle the situation.
2007-11-14 01:58:39 · 6 answers · asked by ameeker 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
Give Grandma a Scripture from God:
James (who was Jesus' half brother wrote this) in
James 3:17
"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure,
then peaceable, gentle, and easty to be entreated,
full of mercy and good fruits,
without partiality,
and without hypocrisy."
God was not a respector of persons. God loved us all regardless of skin color. Jesus was from the Middle East and they are very dark browned skinned people. Black people are nothing but the darkest brown of people which looks black.
I don't believe your dad hates him. I do believe that your dad knows that the culture difference often makes the life of a white and black marriage very difficult to live. His grandma may feel worse about it than your grandma does.
It is like having a strike against you before you even get married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you will always come up against prejudiced people. You must love more than most to make it last, because you will need to overlook a lot.
Don't upset your 90 year old grandma for any reason.
2007-11-14 02:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would bring your boyfriend and let your granny see for herself what a good guy he is. If she is racist, she may be blind to his inner good anyway, but I doubt she would say anything about it -- except maybe under her breath. If she does, just let it go. She's 90; you're not going to teach her acceptance at that age.
If she actually says something right out in the open, I would just give her a short response like "things are different these days, and the color of someone's skin doesn't seem to matter anymore." Don't attack her...just let it go as much as you can.
I think you should tell your boyfriend that he might be getting the cold shoulder from your grandma and ask him if he's comfortable with that and still wants to come to your Thanksgiving. If he does, great! And if not, respect his wishes.
2007-11-14 02:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know how much longer you will have her....go and visit and if any inappropriate comment is made, say something...don't sit there like a silly. Say, "I don't appreciate that Granny, could please not say mean things to my boyfriend, I love him very much and I just want you to get to know him." She will respect a woman who stands up for her man....because I am certain in her 90 years on this Earth she has had to do the same thing! Tell you love her, but wish you would respect him. Also, you know her better than any of us, so maybe it would be better to take her aside in the kitchen away from the dad and boyfriend and say, "Please don't make any rude remarks to ______. I really care for him and just wanted you to meet him, ok?" Good luck sweetie, ((((hugs)))!
2007-11-14 06:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was my grandma that was going to be upset about it. I would leave the boyfriend for the day and spend time with my Grandma. If she died 3 days after Thanksgiving, wouldn't you feel better knowing you didn't upset her? And that you devoted an entire day to her!
At 90 she won't be around much longer. I would give ANYTHING to have a Thanksgiving with either of my grandmothers. They both passed 10 years ago.
2007-11-14 02:04:21 · answer #4 · answered by Titzen_Ash_23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My granny is dead. She dies at 96 2 years ago. She was raciest cause of the era i guess. I think you boyfriend knows how old folks can be and will probably not take it to seriously.
Let what ever is going to unfold-unfold. It's inevitable if you and your man are serious!
GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-11-14 05:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by MB-n-KC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe what you should do is go by yourself first and talk to her by yourself..that way you can get a feel for what kind of situation..I hope that you will get a chance to tell your grandmother how you feel about this man..good luck with this..and I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday..and please let me wish PEACE to you and all of those you love...;0)
2007-11-14 04:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋