Marriage isnt a sentence do you realise that?Its your life!?

Question

I understand that Marriage is a serious decision and that there is a close bond even when you arent happy together. I get it that people get married for different reasons and that people and situations change over time. I understand that its a societal and family thing to be married and to break it is to change your place in your family and society and I understand that people are scared financially to be alone. I get it....but what I dont get is the lack of courage people have to live their own lives. If you are not happy and the marriage isnt working and you have tried - then people should move on with their lives. - I see so much of this - people staying in decayed relationships and not living their life to its fulfilment.
What do you think?

I'm not married and my parents separated and I'm glad they did.

Answer 1

I agree. You have to be happy with your situation or you will make everyone's life miserable. Staying married for the kids sake just isn't always the best idea.

Answer 2

ANY partnership can work if you have a few factors in place.

You dont take one another for granted.
You appreciate the good and acknowledge and address the trouble spots with good communication skills.
You both have to *WANT to be partners.

When these three things team up you can have a satisfying merger, union, marriage, family bond. The bargaining chips are.

Money, Spiritual health, Sexual/Physical attributes.

I know they seem to be the meat and potatoes but really they are the benefits of the top listed behaviors. Here are the negatives.

Lonliness, Despair, Loss of self-worth.

These are the consequences of screwing it up. Nobody wants to experience these but seriously being lazy in our relationships to what is listed above can create all kinds of misery and sadly you will feel each others pain/joy as you spiral down into the abyss or up into what seems like heaven...its up to you which way you want to go, each and every moment of each and every day. Take Care.-Rachel.

Answer 3

I think if you go into marriage knowing and believing in "for better or worse", than marriage can be a beautiful gift. Aside from infidelity, all problems can and should be worked out. That's my belief. I wouldn't divorce my husband just because we didn't "get along". That's what's wrong with the world today. Too many people put more effort into the divorce than the resolution. And then we wonder why there is such a break down in families. I have fell in and out of love with my husband so many times through out our marriage. Sometimes I can't stand him and other times (most times) I'm glad I didn't let him go. But we both don't believe in divorce (except when it comes to infidelity) That helps us maintain a good relationship. We don't want to be married & miserable so we know we have no choice but to work it out. Don't get me wrong - it is hard at times... but the good times and family outcome outweigh all the negative. Besides, anything worth having is worth fighting for...

Answer 4

When a soldier enters the Army, he swears an oath to defend the Constitution. So, let's say we have a soldier in Iraq, under enemy fire, and it's making him unhappy. It's OK, you're saying, if he tells his buddies, "Sorry, guys, I've tried this but I'm just not happy," and then lays down his rifle and walks away.

Obviously, you have no concept of the meaning of swearing an oath. When I got married, I swore until death do we part. That unhappiness you're talking about? That's the "for better or for worse" part of your vows. If you don't mean it, don't swear to it. In other words, if you're going to leave a marriage because you're "unhappy," don't get married in the first place. Anything less is dishonorable.

Answer 5

Agree but I also think some people don't know if the other side is better and sometimes it is not. When children are involved it also complicates the situation and you will not see them as much and they might compensate for some of the unhappiness. I have a personal friend who left a so-so marriage and now is worst . He misses seeing his kids daily..etc. So sometimes the other side can be worst.

Answer 6

hi there, if u think marrige is only happiness and enjoyment then u are totally mistaken. It is a commitment to one another infront of God. You think if you seperate will it solve ur problem absolutely not. What is going to disturb you is your conscions. You will not be happy alone nor you will be happy to see your spouse with somebody. Once ur married u are called one half and your spouse another and you can never be happy as half thats why you have to be full. Mind you a marriage is called a fools paradise and i think that explains it all.

Answer 7

100% agree but on the flip of that i also see people destined for several divorces and knowing it before hand getting married like if it doesnt work oh well i hate that also and some reasons that are used to get married should be p[unishable by law

Answer 8

It can vary from couple to couple.

Current culture in America...

For some persons, it is a decision - life commitment - a vow which they do not break.

For others, it is a decision - life commitment - a vow which can be subject to change without notice from either party of the vow.

Answer 9

Thanks. That advise might have helped 20 years and 2 children ago! I think people , for the most part put their children first, two is always better than one. For this reason people stay together long after the love has gone. It's called having responsibility to someone other than YOURSELF. It really doesn't matter after children come, because your life no longer belongs to you anyways. ;-)

Answer 10

I think the people who stay in a bad relationship just dont feel good enough about themselves, or dont think they deserve better, so instead of getting their life back, they put up with it, which is just sad. And to rob, does your wife know about your girlfriend.