♥•♥ Can you write an amusing story that includes 6 of these phrases?

Question

As you must know by now, this is not homework, but merely good, wholesome fun onYA.

1. He reminded me a little of Walt Disney's version of _____.
2. So...this is awkward....uhhhhh......
3. I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
4. Well. Well. Well. At LAST the truth is known.
5. I have NO idea what you just said.
6. Yeah, you wish!
7. You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile.
8. Talking with my boss is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
9. We interrupt this program with a special bulletin.
10. Thank God for ________.

Answer 1

I knew I was in for it when my new boss rounded the corner and headed towards my cubicle. He stopped next to my desk and began to chatter. Talking with my boss is like being nibbled to death by ducks, so thank God for my ability to zone out. He was saying something that sounded oddly like "You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile" when off in a distance i heard my phone ring. He chuckled briefly as he sauntered off before I could respond "I have no idea what you just said".
I answered the phone to hear a prerecorded advertisement.
"We interrupt this program with a special bulletin", blared in my ear. The voice on the other end was gruff and gritty. He reminded me of a little of Walt Disney's version of an anxious sea captain. "Push one to talk to an associate now", he prattled.
"Yeah, you wish", escaped my lips as I dropped the phone back onto it's cradle. Now where was I, oh yes, my morning stare into space session.

Answer 2

Once there was a man. He reminded me a little of Walt Disney's version of Dumbo. He had very very big ears - oh dear he's just walked in. So...this is awkward....uhhhhh.......Ok, he's ran out crying. I don't know why, but I feel safer already. There's a pigeon with a huge penis on it's head - it's called brad Pitt. Well. Well. Well. At LAST the truth is known. The pigeon is talking to me - right into my mind! I have NO idea what you just said. It's flapping it's wings - I think it's trying to call me over. Yeah, you wish! I'm not falling for that! I'll shout at it to make it go away. YOU LOOK LIKE SNOOPR AND IT MAKES ME SMILE!
it's gone now thank god. Do you know, talking with my boss is like being nibbled to death by ducks. I hate him. Oh, oh the news is on! "We interrupt this program with a special bulletin."
Hmm...the world's going to end. Well, thank God for the pigeon with the penis.

Answer 3

I had the TV on in the background as my wife and I were delaying getting up from bed, teasing each other and trying to find any excuse not to get up for work. She had just told me "You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile." when I heard a voice on the TV intone (9) "We interrupt this program with a special bulletin."

Usually such announcements bring only bad news, so my wife and I stopped fooling around and listened intently. The early morning anchor man was a funny looking guy. (1) He reminded me a little of a Walt Disney version of a cross between David Letterman and Donald Trump. His voice reminded me of my boss. (8) Talking to my boss is like being nibbled to death by ducks and this man was just as annoying.

Trying to ignore his odd looks and irritating manner, I watched as he tried to slide a "Hillary For President" button off his desk without anyone noticing. (2) "So...this is awkward.....uhhhhhhhh" he stammered, before finally revealing the news. "Former President Bill Clinton announced today that he did in fact have sex with that woman." (4) "Well, well, well. At last the truth is known," I thought, as if we didn't already know. The weird anchorman continued with the story.

"When asked about her husband's admission, Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton immediately announced that she was withdrawing from the race to concentrate on her marriage and get Bill the help he really needs."

Of course my first reaction was "Thank God for small favors; I don't know why, but I feel safer already." Unfortunately, I said these words out loud and my wife, a big Hillary supporter, heard them loud and clear. "I'm going to pretend (5) I have NO idea what you just said." she told me as she leapt to her feet and stood there with her hands on her hips glaring at me. "Ahhh baby, you know I was just kidding" I said. "Come back to bed and we can play Snoopy chases Lucy some more." "Yeah, you wish!!!" she responded as she turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

I don't know if any of you have any good ideas for getting back in her good graces. If so, please email me at [e-mail].

Please hurry. I think I heard her talking about going on the Jerry Springer show this morning and I'm pretty sure I her her on the phone with Dr. Phil last night.

Thanks for the help.

Answer 4

so...this is awkward...uhhhhh.., well.well.well. at last the truth is known. you look like snoopy and it makes me smile haha sorry but i have no idea what you just said. ah right thank god for giving you brad pitt - yeah you wish

Answer 5

A frightening scene occurred on Saturday last in our borough . A riding mower took off at a speed of 60 mph with the good burgher aboard." I think this is a bit of a sticky wicket, my good man." I intoned as I watched from behind one of my rose bushes. "Somebody call Scotland Yard!" In the middle of the chaos, a scream could be heard" and above that, the roar of arriving constables."This is terrible! I yelled from the bush. "Just the facts maam" The stoic officer replied. The Queen has made her decision. We have a sniper here to take out the mower. The shot and then the death rattle of the mower. The poor man stumbled from the wood babbling "I think my guardian angel may be a bit deranged. Ahhhhhh.....Total quiet...At Last!!

Answer 6

THE ONGOING SAGA - Chapter XIV

(Summary: The saga began in Transylvania where our hero Matt was exposed as being a gambler. He left for NYC and wrote a note to Santa to get his name off the naughty list. Winding up in a bar, Matt was tossed out on his ear where a Salvation Army band, began following him. Matt scared them off and collapsed in front of the British embassy, where a bagpipe player made a play for him. Matt’s skills were needed by the British when Nessie was seen getting out of the Loch, and he was transported to Scotland. Sent back by plane, Matt parachuted out over a Casino in North Dakota. He is currently near the Corn Palace in Mitchell S.D., making his way down to Texas to see Peggy, his deaf wife.)

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“WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM WITH A SPECIAL BULLETIN” blared the radio. Matt put down the paper to listen.
“ The secret of our beloved Corn Palace has been exposed by a sleeper cell of seven dwarf terrorists. The Palace will no longer hide the manufacturing of Dr. Scholl’s Foot Ointment.”

“I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT I FEEL SAFER ALREADY.” said Matt aloud.

A by-passer hearing the radio announcement, came over to Matt’s car. “WELL. WELL. WELL. AT LAST THE TRUTH IS KNOWN.” He muttered. THANK GOD FOR dwarves. Our city has been living a lie too long.

“I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID.” I interrupted. “I’m a stranger in town, myself.”

“SO...THIS IS AWKWARD....UHHH, the stranger continued, I thought you were one of ‘us’.”

“One of us?” I countered.

“Yes, you know, a Walmart greeter...a Mart-ian” YOU LOOK LIKE SNOOPY AND IT MAKES ME SMILE” That’s the quality they look for in WalMart-ians you know.

“YEAH, YOU WISH!” I replied, I looked at the stranger, still dressed in his Halloween costume. HE REMINDED ME A LITTLE OF WALT DISNEY’S VERSION OF Pluto.
Could this be the Salvation Army bagpiper? Did he track me down after my encounter with his parents? I wasted no time. Started the car and left. Peggy was waiting for me.

Answer 7

Yes I can, but WHY? (2 pts)