I hate my life so much I've started to self harm again?

Question

I'm 16 and I dread coming home every day because I am completely ignored by my family. If they're not ignoring me they're yelling at me and blaming me for every single thing that goes wrong. My brother is way younger than me yet my mum tells him he can take whatever he likes out of my room and keep it (including my xmas presents) and he swears at me constantly whenever I walk past without ever getting told off. It doesn't work both ways because I can't say or do a thing to him. I'm not even allowed to walk round the house; if I do they tell me to stay in my room. 2 years ago I was so depressed I took 30 painkillers which they never even found out about. I used to self harm a lot, and just lately the depressions come back and I'm doing it again. They and my friends don't notice the cuts as I wear hoodies. I just hate my life so much. What should I do? Talking to them is definitely out of the question, just as it is with my friends, as they have happy lives & wouldn't understand.

Answer 1

either you have to talk to them and tell them your problems, or you have to find a close relative you can trust who has to talk to your parents about your problems

Answer 2

Darling,
I feel for you. I can feel your pain and it makes me so sad!
Don't think that you're alone. Well done for crying for help, even if it's here, to a bunch of strangers.
I have the feeling that you have lots to offer; Lot of love and you'd love to help others.
You just want and need to be noticed.
Only darling, you're not going by it the right way.
Of course it's your parents' fault for not taking more interest in you.

But, don't throw your life away.
There's so much to be enjoy in life, and yours is only starting.
At the moment, you have relapsed and things look so bad.
But, trust me, if you hang on in there, in a few years time, you'll be very happy you did.
What about when you're old enough to have your own place, and make your own decision and do things the way you think they should be done?
How about you being a great mum one day and give all the love you have inside of you, and with the knowledge of what pain is, give the best support ever to your child or children?

You could change the world.
Or, whatever good you can do, you'll be happy to have brought your own contribution.

You know, you can try to do some voluntary work, helping others. Maybe disabled people, who can go through a very difficult time and can be ignored and forgotten at times.

Please, turn your anger, frustration and pain into something positive.
Use them to change the world, to make it a better place for those who are going through the same pain as you do and aren't strong enough to ask for help.

You do sound strong, just very down at the moment.
I really do feel that you can do so much!!!
For now, try and phone a child helpline and they can direct you. Or, you could also talk to your GP in all confidentiality, whatever you say would remain between the two of you, as you are the patient and old enough to make your own decision.

I think darling, that what you really want is to find something that you're really good at, and to focus on it.
That'd change your life for the better.
Trust me and give yourself another chance.

hugs.xxxxxxx

Answer 3

Don't hurt yourself to get attention or to make yourself feel better. What you need to do is think about in 2 years, you can leave and be on your own. Finish High School and go to college, even if it is a community college go, your education and your self respect is worth more than your family's attention. Let your selfish little brother take your stuff, it's just stuff, or hide it where they can't find it. If you work, try to save all your money to get out when you are 18. You are not alone, you do have GOD talk to him, you will hear his answers. Nothing is worth hurting yourself or taking your life, so please don't. Life is always bad for teenagers. I have a 16 yr old who's dad walked out on her on her 16th birthday and that was very hurtful to her. No boy or family is worth hurting yourself for. When you leave at 18, just don't look back. Keep the Faith (Bon Jovi) your friends don't have a perfect life, they just hide it well. Please keep a positive attitude, I know it's hard, I have been in a similar situation when I was 16. You have allot to give and you should give your all and not let anyone bring you down. You only have 2 years. If you don't have a job, get one, so you are less at home and hide your money, cash them at the store if you don't have a bank account and hide your money and save it. Talk to a school counsler about what is going on at home. Don't hurt yourself it is not worth it because they are not very good parents. If they get you something for christmas tell them you don't want it and if they start ask them why are you yelling at me, is it because I am 16 or just being mean. If they hit you call the cops.

Answer 4

you poor baby you must be in an extreme mental state all the time, i don't know why parents do this it always seems the younger brother that gets his way, but you are important and special and they are wrong, you despersately need some love and attention, maybe your friends appear happy but they must notice how down you are, is there a nice teacher, or auntie you could talk to , you should make a drs appointment maybe it needs an outsider to tell your parents how sad you are feeling unfortunately you can't choose your family.if you don'ttake some action things will stay the same. i bet if your parents knew they would care, i wish i could give you a hug things will get better, you could try a helpline they would be able to give you practical advice and you can remain anonymous good luckxxx lol

Answer 5

You need to call a help line such as The Samaritans who can give you unbiased advice, you need to talk through your problems with someone else, just discussing your problems with someone can make you feel a little better, your mother shouldn't be treating your brother like he's some angel while treating you so unfairly, this needs to stop, but first you have to speak to a professional about what's going on at home and the self harming, you are certainly not alone when it comes to these types of problems but you deserve help so don't be afraid to ask for some.

Answer 6

I feel so sorry for you. No wonder you feel depressed. Have you tried talking to your family, or at least your mum about how you feel, just the two of you? It may be that you're all so caught up in your own dramas that your parents don't realise how unhappy and unloved you feel. Sometimes people get stuck in ways of behaving with each other which they can't break out of, even if they realise how damaging it is. I wonder why your parents seem to favour your brother so much, has it always been like this, or has something happened to affect their attitudes?

I suggest you find out whether there is a counsellor at school. Usually there is someone who is there for pupils with personal difficulties which they need help with. This will be completely confidential. If not, I suggest you try your doctor. Choose one who you like and who you find sympathetic, and ask to be referred to a counsellor. A lot of doctor's surgeries have their own in house counsellors now. Again this will be confidential and your parents don't need to know. You need to be honest with the doctor about the self harming and the way you feel.

Try either talking to your mum one to one when you're alone in the house, or write her a letter telling her how miserable and depressed you feel. If this doesn't work, all you can do is hang in there until you can leave. It won't be easy coping on your own though. Try to find support from anyone who can help you outside your immediate family. Is ther another relative who might be on your side? Even someone you could live with rather than stay at home?

Don't let your own sense of self worth be pulled down by your dysfunctional and damaging family. It's their problem that they behave like this, not yours. Try reading some inspirational books which might help you feel there is a way out of all this. 'You can heal your life' by Louise Hay is good. Go and browse the self development section of your bookshop, you might find something to help you. Lot of other people have fought through miserable family situations to successful and fulfilling lives. Don't let this beat you, stay strong in yourself and rise above this.

Above all, seek help.

Lots of luck x

Answer 7

Darling, you need to talk with someone. Check at your school and see if you have a counselor or someone who can help get you in the right direction. Depression is a serious thing, and cutting, self harm and that kind of stuff is definitely taking you down a long, dark road. You are not alone, there are lots of people just waiting to help if you will just reach out. What kind of friends do you have that you can't talk to? There is a difference between friends and acquaintances, which are they? Acquaintances are those whom you don't confide in, friends are most willing to stop and help, no matter how happy or unhappy their lives are. Being 16 is a rough age, its easy to fall into traps at that age, or feel you are being put upon, ignored, abused and so on. Hormones rage and feelings of isolation persist. Having parents you can't talk to only makes it worse. You need a trusted adult to talk to and get some decent help. And parents who let a sibling verbally abuse you isn't right either. In my area we have what is called Safe Place which police and teachers know about. Children who are in danger, physically or mentally, can be placed for up to 14 days in semi-custody with a foster home. Social workers talk to the child, and the parents are brought in for meetings to find out what is going on, then a plan is made, sometimes parents just don't realize their kid is in trouble, or maybe a bad situation happened and they have got annoyed with the kid whining and stopped paying attention, this can be a wake up call to both parents, children and school officials that a child may need more help then he/she is getting. I have seen children come through this program get much needed medical help, get counseling for themselves and the parents, and to have school officials step in a pick up the pace a bit by having a go to for the kid. Sometimes, its that the kids can't be returned home, dysfunctional families with no hope of reform, cracked addicted parents, mentally disturbed parents and children needing full psychiatric hospitalization. But mostly, it usually is amazing to see what loving families can happen given a wake up call and some assistance. Try and see if you can get some much needed help for yourself and maybe even your family. You have the right to stand up for yourself and be heard, it sounds like the pain you are in needs addressing ASAP! Good luck and let us know what you decide to do!

Answer 8

The reality is that you do want help or else you would not have told anyone so I think that since you are unable to talk to your family or friends then you should either talk to your doctor or even talk to a 800 number hot line for suicide prevention,your are a valuable person and even though I do not know you I do know that you would be missed if something was to happen to you .I am a mother of 4 kids ages 22,21,15,and 21months and if anything was going on in one of them and they felt that they were unable to talk to me I would want them to get the help that they need form somewhere it really does not matter were.I do not know where you are located but there has to be a support group for you there please take the time to find it.PRAY! Good luck to you.If you need to talk then you can contact me through the yahoo profile.

Answer 9

I'm in agreement with almost everything that's been said previously. Go and see your doctor...s/he will be able to refer you to an agency who can and will help. DON'T start to self-harm again. Depression is a clinical illness and can be treated, that your family do not appreciate you and your worth does not mean that you are worthless, it means that their judgement is skewed. So is that of your "friends" if they can only tell your happiness by what you're showing on the surface.

PLEASE, go seek some help, from teachers, your GP (MD) or a minister of religion - any one - they can and will help.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Hmm not entirely sure this is the place to talk about it, i feel that you should talk to your friends about it, they may not understand as they haven't experienced the same as you, but they should be compassionate as a friend should be.

Also you have to consider more in detail why you self-harm if it is a cry for attention then there other ways of getting others to recognise you. If it's to prove to yourself that you're alive then seek out another way as 30 consecutive painkillers isn't a healthy solution to life's problems.

I wish you luck in changing

Answer 11

Well you shouldn't start to self harm thats just dangerous there is no point in ending your life so suddenly i feel very sorry for you and the best thing you should do is go and tell someone i know everyone says that but it is definetely the best thing to do if your family is treating you like that. But do not self harm. Go to like social services it might be hard for you but its a good thing to do