my boyfriend is 36 years old and im 21, he is a trustworthy men, really honest... sometimes too much, some months ago something was happening, relative often he was telling me stories about his exgirfriend .I though was normal but i didn`t like it so i told him, but the things just got worse, when we were talking about it he gave me more information that I really didn’t want to know. Actually i think i have to much information about her.for example she was virgin when she was 25, she has the same profession than him besides she is a chef, she is rational, smart, hard worker, mature and supposedly they have bad sex for the 5 years that they were together etc.... moreover he told me that she was his fantasy of a perfect relationship, the explanation that he gave for this was that he though was perfect but it wasn’t.. (I don’t know if really mean that) he told me that feel really proud of her in many ways... he said they are friends and his family love her, and her family love him and all of them keep in touch, i feel uncomfortable with the situation.
We have a good relationship for more than a year, great sex, also we are living together.
The real problem is He just told me that his family doesn’t know about me. He is still single for his family. Moreover some of his old good friends (the ones shared with ex girlfriend) have come to visit him, he went out with them alone and he didn’t tell to them that he has a relationship,
He’s a really nice guy who has made lots of good things for me but i hate feel like im not exist in the most important part of his life, good friend and family.
I don’t know if he doesn’t want that his ex girlfriend knows about us... of if it is me, I mean, I wasn’t virgin, im not a cheff and i don’t have any degree yet, in his words`` I don’t have a life yet`` .... Do i need that to he can share his life with me?.
Don’t get me wrong im smart, pretty and out going. The few of his friends that I know (the ones don’t shared with ex girlfriend) likes me a lot.
I’ve stopped my studies in my country just because i waned to travel abroad a bit...
I’ve also asked him how he feels about the different on ages, and he told me that he is ok with that... so I really don’t know what to think or what to do...maybe this relationship is not important enough?. Am I over reacting? What should I do?
2007-11-13 23:04:38 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks everbody... i think you all are right... but i think you guys should know something... he want me to go to university and for that reason he wants to move apartment to save some money and can pay for it... i mean he want to chance a litle his life style for "me" or for the reason that he want me to be something.... anyway.. what do you think about this?.... im very confused...
2007-11-13 23:49:17 · update #1
He is still too attached to his ex girlfriend. If he cared for you as much as he says he does he would not hide you away and be embarrassed to introduce you to his family. You do not have to have a degree or any of those other things for him to be impressed by you. He should just take you for who you are not how much college you have had. You need to get out of this situation as you will not get anything emotionally satisfying out of it. Right now the only thing that the 2 of you have going for you is the sex. If that were gone tomorrow what would you have left? You deserve to be loved, admired, and shown off not hidden away like a dirty secret. Find someone who will give this to you.
2007-11-13 23:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man that doesn't introduce you to his parents that he has good relationship with is saying a lot. 21yo and 36yo is a big difference in age and all he does is talk about his ex to you. If I was you I would leave him alone and get on with my life because it seems like he is using you for the time being because he is still harping over his ex.
2007-11-13 23:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by moniquee248 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is good to discuss frankly about how you exactly feel about your relationshiop and to take action after that if something unexpected happen it is good to read different books like psychology books and talk about it with different peoples like families, friends and the like.
2007-11-13 23:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by aster_kifle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it is time tht he introduced you to his family, and startd acknowledging that you exist. Don't put up with being disrespected like that. Ask him how he would feel if you acted as if you were ashamed of him.
2007-11-13 23:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him like an open person and ask him tell him what makes you feel unconfotable what you want to change in your relationship
let him know - this is important - that you trust him in everything he does but you just need to have some answers
tell him that you understand and respect his decisions but you just want to know why
2007-11-13 23:10:14 · answer #5 · answered by Helena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, find somebody your own age
2007-11-13 23:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋