Have guys who want a virgin thought this through. (WARNING: explicit content)?

Question

If a man is so worried about being able to trust a woman, why is he going to take her word for it?
Is he so ignorant that he supposes being "intact" is always a sure sign? Or that NOT being intact is a sure sign?
How would he find that out prior to marriage?
Will he have her submit to a gynecological exam? Produce medical documents?

Or will he dump her after "discovering" on their wedding night?

Do these guys even think things through at all?

Angel P: INDEED!

Phanto; Alas, many men are not so well-informed in such matters!

Gordon: I quite agree. One marries who one's partner IS, not who they WERE. People do grow and change. (Not to say the past is NEVER relevant, but what someone TAKES from the past matters more.)

Foosie: actually that's part of my POINT! I think the whole idea is STUPID, but it becomes even MORE stupid when one tries to think through what such men are advocating!

Lioness: THANK YOU for sharing your cross-cultural perspective that allows you to see the ABSURDITY of some of this stuff!

Kate: I would ONLY follow the current Prince of Wales on sartorial matters!

Answer 1

why would a woman take HIS word for it? He has no way to prove it either.....marriage is based on love, not physical intactness.

Answer 2

My opinion is that it's alright if a man would like to have a virgin as his future wife, but only if the man is a virgin himself, otherwise, his goods have also been already explored and "tampered with", so he would have no such right to demand an "untouched" woman, as some would say.

The Gitano lifestyle (within my family, as there are different kinds) was at one time insanely rigid in that regard, as what Lioness mentioned in her culture. In the older generations (my mother's side of the family), the gypsy woman was to maintain her virginity until marriage, or else she was useless and would remain living with the parents until death. On the wedding night, the blood from a torn hymen (as well as, childbirth) are not to come in contact with the husband, he is to wash himself directly after sex. I could go on about the strange practices my great grandmother told me of, though now Gitanos have obviously adapted a more liberal view of sex, thanks to Spanish acculturation, however, it's interesting to note how so much of the world has been influenced by this thought of virginity being associated to purity.

It's wonderful to be reminded that some men have stepped out of the bronze-age and into reality. Kudos Gnu!

Answer 3

Before condoms and before birth control I could see why virginity held some value. I think there is a correlation between religion and virginity. The vestal virgins of Rome and latter the Blessed Virgin Mary. I hope Lioness does not assume the Holy Mother had dirty tricks, lol. It all dates to a time of illiteracy, superstition and a Patrician lifestyle. An employer I had from southeast Asia was telling me what tramps American Women were and how they were always having sex and stated "Before I was married I was very Virgin" It is the first time I realized there were degrees of virginity. Almost virgin, very virgin, somewhat virgin, 80% virgin. LMAO Such a bizarre concept. I hope women, my daughter included, enjoy there sexuality to the fullest and arcane values never let them be held down

Answer 4

well if it matters okay, but nowadays it really is not all that big of a deal. besides, as for being 'intact' if a person goes without sex for a long time, it kinda goes back almost to normal, though not quite all the way, but it does happen.
If you/he are/is so serious about finding out, ask her; she takes your word for it, why can't you take hers? but it's like if you're not a virgin either, then you have no room to talk. (no matter what 'principles' your society works by) sorry. ♥

*edit* Lioness' answer was excellent.
Snarky's was funny! good deal!

Answer 5

LOL! Welcome to the Middle Eastern way of having sex without losing your virginity. ME girls learn the dirty tricks early on, becoming experienced in areas that most westernized women may not have gone in a lifetime. This, to make the guy believe he has had the honor of popping her cherry on the wedding night. With every "virgin" being given away at the wedding night, we had nothing but laughs for the stupidity of the countless men who bought into the virginity idea. If the tricks fail and you lose your virginity, you can always go to the doctor to "sew" it back to the "virginal" state too. You'll get a virgin alright, just an experienced one :)

While we're on the subject, I gotta tell you this story. When I was 7 or 8 and still lived in Iran, we went to this neighbor's wedding. They were supposedly upper class, so the wedding was all royal style. At 3AM we woke up from people yelling on the street....come to find out the bride wasn't a virgin so they were returning her to her dad...her doctor must not have sewed it back right LOL

EDIT: Funny part is, if one knows the simple laws of supply and demand, they would question who the men are having sex with, if they have multiple partners before marriage while the women remain virgins...my money would not be on too many prostitutes or married women.

Answer 6

Well I say!........................lol.
I've come across men like that and my remark to them would always be "IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH OR MARRYING A VIRGIN,DON"T YOU THINK YOU OUTTA BE A VIRGIN TOO".

Some men out there only want that so they can say " I HAD HER FIRST".

NO MEN WOULDN'T DARE COME TO ME AND BRING THAT ABSURD SUBJECT OF VIRGINITY.

I'm no virgin and if many men gonna based their marriage on
their wive been a *VIRGIN*,well they in for a big surprise.
My cousin was 24 and a virgin when she married her husband but guess what,their marriage only lasted 2 years.
"WHY"?!?!........................lol.
Because he was a complete a** hole and an abuser.She now regretted it because she saved her virginity until marriage and planned on spending the rest of her life with the person she married and they now going through a divorce.

And you know what,he always tell her that he was her first and no men has caved in before.She now have the attitude if any men want a virgin,they better be one too cause it's
*DOUBLE STANDARD*.

If any woman comes across that type,my advice to them would be "WALK AWAY AND DON'T EVEN LOOK BACK".

Answer 7

Some people genuinely believe in all this virginal purity stuff. I did too as a teen - I thought I'd be saving myself until marriage.

A first time can and should be something special, with someone one loves, ideally. But mandating it, it becomes about control and about double-standards. If a guy is that worried about it, his priorities are so screwed up his marriage is probably doomed for other reasons.

Answer 8

I think it's absurd to expect your wife to be a virgin in this day and age.

Someone asked why have a hymen? Evolutionarily, the male protects the female and offspring. (Both sexes want their offspring to survive, right?) The presence of a hymen indicates that the male is the first to mate with the female. It "ensures" that any offspring he spends time and energy protecting and caring for is his own.

The same argument was used for humans. If a woman was a virgin and pure then if her husband impregnated her on the wedding night, it was his child and his title and lands and money would be passed to his heir.

Answer 9

Am sorry, but it's the funniest thing I've ever heard of. I've known for years that girls have their own little tricks(like Lioness said). Have read once that some girls apparently hide a small sponge soaked in pigeon blood(I know, sounds disgusting) up her cha-cha to make the husband believe that she is a virgin.

Answer 10

Good lord, why would a man want to marry a virgin? I sure wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with a woman who a.) is an unskilled, novice lover and, b.) will always be wondering what it's like to be with another man.

Answer 11

if a man feels he MUST be with a virgin, he himself better be a virgin too. additionally, he better trust what the woman tells him; he doesn't need PROOF she is a virgin if he loves her. love is all about trust. we don't live in ancient times where men hung bloody sheets from the house after the wedding night. how truly morbid and barbaric.

i, for one, would never date a man who even had a preference for virgins--any reasonable man would want to be with a woman who was healthy sexually and at least a little experienced--he shouldn't want to be with some clueless kid he can take advantage of. he should want to be with a woman. most women nowadays are not virgins.