My son was married but is seperated from his wife?

Question

She won't sign those divorce papers.
He had dated this other girl for well over two years and they lived under one roof for a year. She had absolutly no idea that he was still married and he never even told her about his ex. He told me that he had no intention of marrying this other girl, but I saw that he kept going back to her.
When she contacted me recently and told me that she is so lin love with my son, and they are getting married and that they are wearing rings, etc, I wondered if I should be telling her about his fist wife.
Well, long story short, I did.
She broke down and cried and immediately broke up with him calling him a liar, and he hung up on her and of course got mad. She was gracious enough not to say that I was the one to break those news to her?
Was I wrong to tell her?
She is a mess and is very sad but I thought she should be told the truth.
Should I have stood by my son and kept my mouth shut?
Help . . !

Answer 1

I would have told her. She has a right to know that she is wasting her time on a liar that has no intention of marrying her. Don't stand by your son while he hurts other people. You can still get a divorce even when they refuse to sign the papers. It takes longer but it can be done.

Answer 2

Until both your son and his WIFE receive a final decree of divorce from the court your son will be married. IF your son REALLY wanted to divorce his WIFE, and she wouldn't sign he would have pursued it in court and eventually he would win a divorce. Obviously he had no intentions of divorcing his wife. Until he does get that divorce though he does NOT have an ex wife, he does NOT have a first wife he has a WIFE period. YOU need to talk to your son about vaules, morals as well as ethics because obviously he wasn't taught any as a child.

Answer 3

Absolutely not..You defiately did the right thing. You son cannot go around doing this to innocent women letting them fall in love with him and then breaking their hearts. Better you did this now than years down the track when their married and theres innocent children to suffer. Relax. I wouldn't let my son do it and get away with it. Nice way to start a new relationship.. Based purely on lies.. I'm with you

Answer 4

I dont think you were wrong. You did the right thing because if I was that girl I would want to know. It's really your son's fault for not being truthful in the first place.

Answer 5

If he is running around telling women that he is going to marry them, and he can't even get a divorce, I think you were perfectly within your moral rights. The poor girl needed to know. You need to ask your son how he would feel if a girl lead him on that way. It is just not right.

Answer 6

while i am sure that you have done what you thought was right, you really should not interfere in someone else's life - even if it is your son. people have to make their own decisions, and you might have ruined his relationship without talking to him before taking this action.

this was not your place at all, and you should be reminded in future to let people look after their own affairs - regardless of what you think of them.

also, the fact that you are grateful that she didn't tell your son that it was you who told her the truth indicates that you want to keep your own secrets. and that you know he would be upset at you if he found out. you are asking this woman to do exactly what you are angry at your son for doing, and keep secrets.

you should have instead helped your son to make the right choice.

Answer 7

It is fault of ur son,he cheated the girl and his wife also,U have done correct thing by telling the girl truth,God will not help u if u support the wrong guy,he may b ur son,let him face the music.

Answer 8

I agree with your decision...while it is difficult and HE should have been man enough to do it, you couldn't rightly just let her believe a lie forever....I mean 2 years is a long time!! I am sorry you and she had to be put in that position, and typically I would say to stay out of your child's lovelife, but there is just no excuse for stringing her along for years.....and I am glad that you respected her enough to tell her the truth!!

Answer 9

well yea you should at least worn him that if he wouldn't tell that for the woman in you that couldn't handle the pain that you as a woman could see what she would fill that you'd just have to tell her,he be less mad if you hit him up frount he'll get over it and it gives him the oppertunatie to own up to his fear because he don't want to mess with a good thingbut you'll just be given him a little love push,and sooner or later he'll find out.maybe not but good chance sorry

Answer 10

but what is that teaching him? that it's ok to deceive people?he LIED to her all that time and had no intention of even being truthful. i say bravo to you. you did the right thing so dont let it bother you. you told this woman the TRUTH whereas your immature, selfish son was content living with deception.

i bet your son is relieved that this woman now knows the truth. he may not admit it but he is. so even if he should find out it was you who told the truth it's ok. if he gets angry with you tell him he should be relieved that the truth is out now and to stop telling lies. don't worry. time will pass and wounds will heal and all will be forgiven. good luck to you all and God bless. :)