should i divorce him?

Question

i have been legally married since 1987. we separated in 1988. i haven't seen or talked to him in over 10 years, but i know where he is. i'm kinda torn cause i want to have a relationship, but then again it says in the bible that Jesus hates divorce. what should i do?? thanks

Answer 1

It's an interesting question and when you cut to the chase there is no middle ground -- you either "do" or "don't". Doing nothing is a firm choice in this circumstance.

I respect how seriously you take your vows and you're to be commended. If it helps at all you can view the bible as a guide for you to ask key questions about your life and, hopefully, it will help you to make important decisions. From what I've read most biblical scholars concur that the bible was developed over an extended period of time with a variety of viewpoints. Thus, seeking absolute answers from it's content is an option but not necessarily a requirement.

My advice -- speak first to a respected and fair-minded theologian. I feel you need to find a comfort level with your choice and that extra step of spending time with a woman or man of God should help.

All the best...

Answer 2

Yes he hates divorce but it is forgivable. I understand that you are trying to do the right thing but is it right that you two have not been together in all those years. You can get a divorce but unless it is for fornication the divorce is not scriptural. Any relationship there after is seen as adultery as written in the New Testament. Make sure that you really can deal with what you are doing.

Answer 3

I think if you check your bible it says somewhere, so I'm told, that the only way two people can have a divorce, is if one of them has committed adultery. So if this is true and your husband has already gotten himself another partner, then you are free to have a divorce in God's eyes. Having a relationship before that divorce I don't know about.

Answer 4

If you haven't seen or talked to him in ten years, do you have any idea what he's doing in his life? Is it possible he may be in another relationship? Ask him if he wants to be married or not. Since it has been so long since you've spoken with each other, why don't you two go out and have a talk over dinner or something and see what happens.
If you don't know what to do, the best thing to do is pray about it and ask God to give you an answer or what to do.
God bless.

Answer 5

It's twenty years since I studied the Bible, but if you study it, I think you'll find that Jesus said nothing about divorce. It was actually St. Paul who had a lot to say about marriage and divorce, and what he said was something like, Divorce is not the ideal, but if you really can't find any other solution, then you should do it. Also remember God gave us free will. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Jesus was never married if he had been he might have a more moderate view about divorce.
What is the point in not getting divorced in these circumstances or do you just want to feel sorry for yourself for another ten years.
Get a divorce, get a real marriage, be happy, I don't think Jesus would mind he was always very forgiving and practical.

Answer 7

It is in your interest to have relationship. Bible is against Divorce however despite it there is a provision of Divorce because it is the need of time.

Answer 8

I've been seperated for 16 years and I haven't gotten a divorce yet, I have I have been married for 19years, It's just paper if the one you are with is ok with it then don't worry about it.
But if you feel the need it wont be hard for you to divorce him.

Answer 9

Honey you sound like these pferices in the bible did. they just followed the letter of the law not the law it self. In God's eyes you have been divorced since 1988!!!!!!!

Answer 10

It has taken you 10 years to ask this question...and then ask it on an internet website. I say this with all sincerety and no disrespect to Jesus, but I would think that Jesus thinks you are a nut case.