My best friend is going through a divorce & he's been trying to have faith in God thru this whole deal. But tonight he confessed very angry that he's struggling with everything.
How can a man that worked a steady hard working job for 27 years, was a good husband & father to 2 step children & his own, provided a home & love for his wife. Why is the drug addicted mother that ignores her three children, non-working wife, cheating on him with a drug dealer... HOW IS IT SHE IS GETTING THE GOOD END OF THE STICK. She is getting child support, alimony (she is living with the cheatee) he has spent more money in the divorce that he will have. He is going to lose his house, have to sell most of his possessions (which is his work truck & his truck & house.) He is left with no furniture in the house. she took 80% of it. he is getting things donated. HE IS QUESTIONING GOD: Why do good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people???? I need wisdom here poeple... HELP!!!
2007-11-13 17:16:22 · 7 answers · asked by Mitch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lots of time, life is not easy. Most everyone, at some time in their life-time, gets the "raw end of the stick". And it's unfair.
Best advice. Don't try to figure it out. Don't wonder WHY she is getting the good end of the stick.
Sometimes - our FAITH is tried, and tried again. And when this happens, our most vunerable areas are attacked. REAL FAITH .. is tested.
He should mourn his loss. Then he should attempt to get over it.
He should consider HER as "good ridance". He should pick himselp up, dust himself off .. go on down the road without HER .. and never look back.
He can start all over. Fresh. New. Those things he lost are just material things .. they can be replaced. It may take time .. but it can happen.
If she is an addict .. it can be proved .. and his children can be awarded to him when it is proved. He has options. Child services can step in to partents who are addicts.
This are hard times for him . Only he can decide his relationship with God .. but instead of getting mad .. he should turn to God more. Life is not a bed of roses .. and we are allowed to go through rough times.
Saying we have have faith in God .. is different than having real faith in God. Real faith, is not doubting .. no matter the outcome. God does not always answer our prayers the way WE want them answered .. and we should have faith that God has a reason for it .. we never know what the future holds way down the road for us .. but GOD does .. and GOD knows why .. when we are clueless. There are reasons WHY things are allowed to take place in our lives.
The Bible says that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle - than for the rich man to go to Heaven.
When a good person gets tied to a bad person .. they need to get away from the bad person. And most of the time, the good person does not go away unscathed .. they are usually hurt. A bad person earns the name, as a bad person. And .. a good person is labeled 'good' for the same reason.
Lots of people get taken in divorces .. and it's not right, nor fair .. but it happens a lot. If he could .. he should get some other legal counseling to see if anyone could help him more. It sounds like he does not have good legal counseling .. or anyone to fight for him in the legal arena of the court system.
He could ask for custody of his children .. and stand tight with the request. He could declare to child protective that his children are in danger while having to live with an addict mother ... his attorney could get orders to get all this tested, etc .. he could bring into play that wife is living with her lover, etc .. even it if it is only declared on paper .. wise council could do lots for him ... however, it may not be easy to find just the right one.
I know this sounds cold .. but the truth is, LIFE happens .. and it's not always nice. Getting mad at God will not help a thing .. it will make it worse. If he could - it would be best to look around him and see what made this situation bad .. do the things he can to contain it .. then move forward to better.
It will take awhile to recover in every area of his life .. but it can be done .. and it might get worse before it gets better. When he gets through doing, everything he has to do with this situation .. if he will allow it .. the sun will shine for him again .. but he has to want it to.
2007-11-13 18:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been suffering from post partum depression for the past one year when I gave birth to a baby boy. I couldn't stop thinking about how my husband loves him more than me and how things might be better if he wasn't born at all. Thus, I stayed away from him because I knew that I might do something I will regret for the rest of my life.
Almost instantly I went to a therapist and convince them that I need help. Among other things, I've tried herbal supplements and other book to treat depression but nothing works like the Depression Free Method. So now I'm proud to say I'm one of the happiest mother in the world. My husband loves us both very much and I thank the Lord for the blessing he gave us.
Depression Free Method?
2016-05-16 10:49:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is preparing him for something thats greater than he could ever imagine. just because bad things happen to good people doesnt mean that God doesnt exist. if God allowed only good things to happen all the time than when something bad happens you would not know how to react or appreciate it for what it is. the friend need to know to keep his faith in God even though he is going through. God will replace everything he has lost 10x over or more. this is a test of his faith and he needs to know that vengeance are the Lords just cast all his burdens on the Lord and he will come out on top every time. he ex will gets hers but its not for the husband to worry about. he need to focus on him and keep the faith through all this. i can assure you he will be fine. GodBless
2007-11-13 17:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry for your friend. Tell him not to give up, remember Job. This cant last forever and he will come out a better man. Bad things do happen to good people that's hard to understand, but what don't kill us makes us stronger. he may think she is getting the good end of the stick and it may look like that now but... doesn't the bible also say you reap what you sow. Believe me its true. Been watching my ex reaping ... its not a pretty sight... God blessing for your friend and you.. Just be his friend and help him all you can.
2007-11-13 19:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must of had a lawyer that didnt work hard enough to protect him like he should of. sometimes things work out this way for a reason.. we dont know it yet but things will turn around for him i am sure.. he has to keep his head high and maybe get another lawyer wouldnt hurt. if he keeps documents and things shes doing and going on he might be able to get the kids then she would have to pay support. i wish him the best.. and it will get better.. sometimes we can see the other side of the forest for all the trees.. good luck
2007-11-13 17:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a bad lawyer. He could have ordered a drug test that the court would have enforced. If she had tested positive, then he would have gotten the kids. He could have had his lawyer put in a stipulation that she can't have overnight male visitors, but sounds like he didn't care enough to bother with it. He could have proven her for what she is, but sounds like he didn't bother to get the proof. Perhaps he's just playing you....
2007-11-13 17:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
because he is stupid. that's why. first of all he should have seen whom he was marrying. if she wasn't using drugs then i am sure it is his fault that she started using them after marrying him. and normal people usually make PRENUPTUAL agreement. ( i didn't even say smart, i said normal). and anyway, according to any law she ahouldn't get 80% of anything. if she does he is either really really stupid or u re exaggerating or he is lying to u counting on your pity. pityful men are pathetic losers. a real man should take care of himself and his woman and never be in this pathetic position. and my sincere advice to u - dump him now. he is a big l loser
2007-11-13 17:23:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋