My fiance and I live with my parents, we used to have an apartment, but lost that because he wasn't working and we didn't make enough with my income. Anyways so my parents offered us to move in with them giving us enough time to catch up on some bills and school loans. They didn't want us dipping into any savings that we had. Well its been 7 in a half months and the savings is gone, he finally started working about a month ago, the thing is, I don't trust him. I know he has lied to me before, I mean he has started working a month ago, but not at the same job, the first job he said was something with imports, but he never got paid he kept telling me that they wouldn't pay him, now he works for a collection company and he's supposed to get paid this Friday. My parents can't take it anymore, I know it shouldn't take someone 7 months to find a job, and before that he hadn't worked for a whole year. I don't know what to do. Please if anyone has gone through this any advice would be great.
2007-11-13 16:57:19 · 11 answers · asked by Lovely1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That year that he was unemployed he would tell that he would apply at places, but that they would never call him. A WHOLE year. I want to trust him, but the things he tells me don't make any sense, like telling me his boss won't pay him, or that the computers at work are down so they send him home early. No sense what so ever. I just don't know what to do. I love him and I want to believe him, I know he's not cheating on me because he comes home, its not like he gets off early and doesn't come back till way later. He comes straight home. I know this because I work out of my home so im always there.
2007-11-13 17:02:24 · update #1
Lovely1, you are certainly in a tough spot. I haven't been in a similar situation but I think the answer you're going to get from most everyone will be about the same. One year and 7 months seems to just about sum it all up. This guy doesn't want to work and wants someone, anyone, to take care of him. I think you need to show him to the door and tell him after he gets a job and proves to you that he is ready to settle down then you might consider living with him again. You do need to consider your parents and I think everyone would agree they have more than done their part for the two of you. I know it will be hard to do but I truly think you need to separate from him for an indeterminate period of time, however long it takes him to either grow up or move on down the road.
I know it's a tough spot for you to be in but you can do it and you have your parents to provide emotional support for you.
Good luck.
2007-11-13 17:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by RandomAct 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are luch that he is only your fiance and stil fgot lot of time to decide the best. I have got a case presently with me. They got married and inspite of that did not work. In the mean time she conceived and has a daughter. He keeps saying that God has given birth and will take care of. The wife went abroad to work as a teacher and got Rupees 20,000 + . When asked that time he spent all the money lavishly and when asked would say why must he work. His wife is giving money to spend and then why to work. Takes only mineral water and cool drinks with his food.Now she is back and going to a small job of 4500/- per month. In one year things changed drastically. He was a sex meniac too. Would go into bed with his wife when ever he wants. Al this was happening sitting in the house of his wife. Jus 6 months back she slapped him while he was insisting for sex. He became rude and was unaware of this behaviour. Again he was hit by her next month. After that he started getting credit saying his wife will pay because she had some good name in the surrounding. Now she has told everyone not 2 give anything in his name. He wants to part now and she is ready for it. Do you want to go through the same? Better not. You are the final judge anyway
2007-11-14 01:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by lkslalit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really need to reconsider marrying him. what he is doing now is the same behavior he will have after marriage. You shouldn't marry a man that cannot or will not support a family. If you like living with your parents, go ahead and marry him because that's where you will stay as long as you are with him. Unfortunately, you will probably have kids and are you going to have them live with your parents too? you are being very unfair to your parents. The best thing for you to do is to give him the boot, get yourself an education and support yourself and move out of your parents house. you could live with your parents by yourself while getting your degree. Of course you have to follow their rules. You should pay your parents rent. Once you get your degree and a job then get out. If you don't get an education, you need to get a place that you can afford for yourself. Either way, you need to better yourself and be an adult and move out of your parents house. Whatever you do, don't marry that boy (notice I called him a boy, not a man). You are making foolish decisions that girls make that ruin their lives. Be a woman and wise up, before you make huge mistakes that you can't undo.
2007-11-14 01:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by stew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well why isn't he working? Is there something that's he's doing to improve himself or is he just being a bum? You should be supportive but that is way too long. what kind of man becomes engaged that cant support himself never mind a wife. Leave him till he gets money in the bank.
2007-11-14 01:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by texasmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is very important in a realationship, and as you said, you don't trust him. He lied to you and disrespected you, and you feel that way for a reason. My suggestion is to move on your own, tell him to find another place.
Even your parents aren't to fond of this, i'd say let him go. For your benefit.
Good luck :)
2007-11-14 01:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by Green Eyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with him????
hes going to take away everything
and then things will get ALOT worse (trust me)
leave him, stay with your parents until u get a really good job, and find a new guy!
Hope I helped :D
2007-11-14 01:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, he sounds like a loser. Why cant he find work?? There has to be vaible employment there....does he drink or drug? or is he just lazy or depressed? You have to figure out why he isnt pulling his weight, and if it is fixable. If it isnt, you have to decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.
2007-11-14 01:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a loser.. cut him loose. you don't want that in your future.
Unless he comes up with a well paying job and starts supporting YOU.
You shouldn't be the one to support him. If he can't do it on his own... he isn't worth it. No man, if you can call him a man, is not worth your time and money if they can't even help themselves.
2007-11-14 01:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you engaged to a loser? Do you really think you have a good future with this guy? Do you really think he can provide a house, food, electricity, water and any sort of decent life for you and any children you may have?
2007-11-14 01:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put him out. If he is acting like this now, just think what he would be like when you married him.
2007-11-14 01:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋