Can you learn social skills?

Question

Can you learn social skills after a certain age? My brother, who's a smart guy in sociology, said that you either have them or not. But my opinion is that you can improve them, by reflection and reading self-help books.
Example: communication, negociation, defense in relation with others.

Answer 1

Of course you can learn social skills. Its the reason why we don't go around biting and raping each other. We learn social skills through trial and error,and by setting goals and attaining them....This is simple developmental psychology......Another thought to consider would be how immigrants learn customs and social skills even if they are very different from their own (shaking hands instead of bowing for Japanese)

Answer 2

Look at me! I'm 25, and have never been on a date. When I was a kid, I was a pretty normal person, but between 15 and 24, I became a virtual recluse.

This last year, I turned a lot of things around, having found a friend. I met so many new people, learned how to drive on the freeway, order food from restaurants, shop alone, etc.

I would say, though, that those with the gift of gab probably won't lose it anytime soon.

I don't have that friend anymore, but the changes still stand. I'm still not a socialite, but that is my goal.

Answer 3

The public school kids are socialized, just in a different way. Most homeschoolers believe this way is negative, like myself. Homeschoolers have access to many races, ethnic groups, disables, religions, ages, ect. with which to learn from on a daily basis. There are no restraints other than what their parents would like to implement. Public schoolers are with the same age every day and the only adult interaction is with their teachers. Not only that, the disabled (mental and physical)are all shoved off into another classroom.

Answer 4

Yes,I think you can. Many people have difficulty asking for help (asking for what they need), especially when they need it most. But they can learn by practicing first in easy cases, like asking for street directions -- while focusing on ease, style, or technique more than on the information they seek. They can practice hundreds of times if necessary for mastery. If they have issues about asking for help or deserving it (due to past experiences obscuring current realities), they can start working on them here. Later, as they advance to increasingly important requests (such as seeking assistance on the job), they build competence to ask effectively and strengthen relationships even in critical or intense situations.
You can study or use these skills almost any time or place. Nobody can tell that you are using this discipline, because the practices integrate seamlessly with everyday activities, with whatever you are doing anyway. This is not an accident but a central feature of Communication Practices -- for many reasons. It lets you start training any time, without having to wait for permission or resources -- learning new skills with no expense and little risk, and without performance anxiety. And this education works efficiently because it always takes place in real situations, not artificial ones.
Communication and relationship go everywhere and strongly influence human activity -- from war and peace among nations to whether a marriage works, from political action to personal friendship, from keeping it together to success in work, school, or life.
Much of what happens -- in our own lives, our communities, and world events alike -- depends on personal strengths and weaknesses in communicating, connecting, and interacting with others. People differ greatly here, but probably most adults never learn some skills that most children master before leaving elementary school. Lost opportunities, pointless fighting, poor leadership and negotiation, unhappy relationships, and even suicide can result.
A good way to teach these personal-interaction skills is to design simple exercises ("practices") for assisted-performance education (learning by doing) in the routine activities of everyday life.
Tell your brother to check this site out for more info:
http://www.communicationpractices.org/

Answer 5

Of course you can learn social skills. It's a fake it 'til you make it kinda thing. It's like anything else. Once you learn the rules of etiquette you become comfortable in different social settings.

If you're naturally introverted, you'll just need a little more down time between social occasions to recharge.

Answer 6

Yes, you can learn social skills. It is harder when you are older because you have to unlearn some bad habits, but it is certainly possible. There are people you can hire also who could coach you on this.

Answer 7

Of course you can learn social skills and that's why you can take seminars in communication, negotiations, etc. Many people come from humble beginnings but they better themselves by learning these skills as an adult.

Answer 8

Both are right, your bro at some point. Of course you can learn if not all uf us would be acting like a 3 yrs. old child. We all learn step by step in life. And later if you skipped something you can always learn and improve. Your bro seems to me like a little square minded..Yes you can either have them or not, then you can learn them or not it´s up to you and your will to be a better human being...

Answer 9

absolutely. We adapt to new situations every day. Social behaviors are results of our cognitive abilities (subconscious for survival) which were hopefully evolving and nourished by our parents shortly after the age of 3 or 4. Reasoning, empathy, cooperation, sacrifice, goals, commitment, trust acceptance, religion, art communication etc. are examples of the temporal lobe processing information gathered by our reptilian and mammalian brain making sure we act like other "humans do for the greater good" and for our ego

Psychopaths, people with brain injuries, damage, tumors, people with ADD, drug addicts, pedophiles, morons, the Bush family, etc have a physical impairment of the lobe and therefore cannot practice empathy, love, trust, etc. because that part of the brain is missing.

I would really like to know what school your brother is attending....

Answer 10

Yes you can in many ways. You can get help from others, learn on your own, and read from books.