Let me explain, my parents abandoned me, and my Grandmother was kind enough to raise me. She has back problems that makes it hard for her to walk, other than that, she is quite healthy. She's a Mother of 6, and has had 4 different Husbands(Pedophile, Wife beater, drug user, and cheater) and now her 5th Husband has left her...He has very bad mental problems, so there's not much of a chance of him coming back. I work full time, and she is an artist, so both of us can make it on our own. I'm the caretaker for this small "family" accept the only thing is, I am 15, and I find myself very inexperienced in talking to other people, mainly comforting them. Please, I need some help at comforting, she is VERY stressed out right now.
2007-11-13 16:46:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let her talk and cry. Just be willing to listen. Give her a hug and hold her hand. You are just trying to comfort her. You can't make it all better.
2007-11-17 11:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, all you can do is be there for her. She has to work out most of the issues on her own. She may want to talk about it from time to time. Listen, but don't judge. Don't solve her problems for her (it doesn't do any good). Where you can help, help. Where you don't understand, just listen.
It will take here a few weeks to months to get over him. Each day will be a little better than the last.
Make sure she is eating properly, getting her medications (if she needs any), and is getting her rest.
If she is not handling it well, then try to get her to see a doctor or psychologist for more help.
2007-11-14 00:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by drslowpoke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so young to assume the role of caretaker of your dysfunctional grandma. She has proven so far, she is not very good at picking men and really ought to get some counseling to figure out why she doesn't think she deserves anything better than what she has ended up with.
Honestly, until she fixes herself, she is going to continue with these foolish choices. Talk to her about getting some one on one therapy. While you are at it, see if you can't get some for yourself. As I said, you are awfully young to be in the situation you are in and I'm sure you have some abandonment issues of your own to deal with. That would be the first thing that comes to mind. Also, the endless parade of undesirable male role models in your life cannot do much for your self esteem either.
2007-11-14 00:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your g-mother is a strong kind lady.She's has made it through rough times & husbands a survivor.Let her know you are there for her that she's taught you so much about being the strong kind person that you are now,something you will always be thankful to her.That she doesn't need this man that has so many problems,that together your going to be ok..Get a mirror have her to look into it. Ask her if she wants to know what You see? Tell her you see a master piece.That should always be cherished
2007-11-14 01:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by Amy c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you love her and appreciate all the good care she gave you...
More important is to show her by your actions (talk is cheap). Help her do things she cannot do for herself. Like garden. Bring her a cup of tea or hot chocolate - be thoughtful and considerate.
Take note and be very careful when you marry - there are many men out there who are like her husbands. Beware.
Joy to you.
2007-11-14 00:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have to grow up fast. Do the things you know how and don't go out with anyone your grandmother likes. I feel I should type that twice. God bless you honey that you care enough to hold this together. There's no secret to talking to people outside of separating the scum balls, your gram should be able to help with that..sorry...that was mean......I applaud your efforts !
2007-11-14 01:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by lenzix5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pizza. Chocolate. More chocolate. Rent a movie, find a good chic flick. Have a good cry, a good laugh. And just be there for her. And did I mention chocolate?
2007-11-14 00:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by Ista 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listening. refusing to judge her. getting on positively in your own life and interests. sharing happiness with her. stroking her sense of purpose by telling her why you appreciate her as a person...not for what she does. these will all help immensely.
2007-11-14 01:05:58 · answer #8 · answered by Thoughtful 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just show her some concerned and love so that she know that there is someone still care and concern for her
2007-11-14 00:55:35 · answer #9 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋