My parents are most likely getting a divorce. My mom keeps saying over the year she is and I think its happening. She is never home anymore.. She doesnt care about my school work or anything. I got introuble she didnt even care. Its what 11:36 PM and I havent seen my mom since she dropped me off in the morning. I heard my dad saying she went to the lawyers today. I'm 15 and the argue all the time. I just cant stand it. They've been argueing since my moms dad died. What are good ways to get through this? I mean I really cant live without my mom or dad.
2007-11-13 15:38:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First you need to realize that your mother still cares she just has a lot on her plate at the moment. You should really talk both of your parents and let them know how you feel. They are probably so caught up in what's going on in their own lives that they don't realize how its affecting you. Divorce doesn't mean you have to live without either of them, you will still have them both, just not at the same time. You should get through this by focusing on school and activities. Talking to friends (you can't be the only kid around who's parents are divorcing or who already have divorced parents) Talk to a school counselor. Talk to a coach. Realize that none of this has anything to do with you. This isn't your fault and you can and will live through all of this and probably be more mature because of it. Hang in there and let your parents work out their adult problems. You focus on being 15. Good luck :)
2007-11-13 16:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well....it just sounds like she is really upset about her dad's death and she's taking it out on her marriage. There could be other things in the marriage that they have been having problems with before but now every problem seems like a mountain to her. They should really try marriage counseling before just throwing in the towel....especially since they have you to think about. They've been married for how long...and if they just give up....it's not setting a very good example for you. I would talk to your school counselor about the situation but I would also sit down with your mom and have a heart to heart. Be sensitive to the situation and let her know that you aren't in the dark and you aren't just a little child anymore and you would like her to try and make this work. If there are actually irreconcilable differences between your parents then maybe there isn't anything that can be done. But let her know that it would mean the world to you if they tried marriage counseling before giving up. Don't be judgmental and don't accuse her of things. Let her know how you feel about the situation by saying "I feel like...." Don't say "You are...." because then she'll feel like she's being attacked by her daughter and she'll put the walls up and you'll get no where. Don't tell her she's just depressed and is taking it out on the marriage either because that is the marriage counselor's job to tell her that. Your grandfather was probably your mom's rock...one of the two most important men in her life and he is gone forever. She needs to learn to cope with his death. My mom still cries every now and then even though her dad has been dead for over ten years. She took care of him while he was dying at home from cancer for months. She's never going to go a day without thinking about him....she's never going to miss him any less....and the pain will never go away....but the one thing that can help her through this....her husband and her children....her family....she's lashing out on and will lose at her own will....does she REALLY want to do that? Be understanding....it's very rough on her too.
2007-11-14 02:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by bickie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry to hear about what you going through. It is really tough and sad when kids like yourself have to go through such things when you really need the care love and attention of both your parents. It is really hard as your mom just lost her dad, though I dont understand why she is fighting with your dad. I guess your grandfathers passing away really traumatized her. I think she needs some time to get over it. You need to be very strong and supportive. Have you tried talking to your mom or dad perhaps.. If you have not maybe you should, tell them how you feel and what you missing and thinking. I am really sorry, I can understand what you going through. My prayers and well wishes are with you and your family. I hope things work out well and your parents solve their differences. They are very lucky to have a caring child like you.
2007-11-13 23:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce sucks, my brother and I went through it at the age nine and ten. The best way to get through it is to be open with your parents so they know how you feel. Also look for the good things and try not to focus on the bad stuff, like they will be more happy and you wont have to listen to the argue all the time.
2007-11-13 23:44:02 · answer #4 · answered by Winchester 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my parents went through their divorce there was a group in my school that we were able to talk about our feelings. Talk to your parents and tell them how you are feeling. I felt like after the divorce it was alot better. They no longer were fighting. I saw my father every weekend so you really wont be living without your mom or you dad. They are there. My mother told me that she still loved my father but they just couldn't live together. you will be ok. Talk to you parents or find someone at you school to talk to. Stay strong.
2007-11-14 00:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by Spring M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there and find an adult that you can talk with about your feelings. I am sorry to tell you that there is nothing you can do except not let this ruin you life.
Stop getting in trouble and concentrate on your school work. In a few short years you will be going to college where you will have the time of your life. But you have to get there first.
Again, do not let your parents mistakes adversely effect your life.
I will pray for you.
2007-11-13 23:43:40 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can live without them, babies can't live without their parents because they rely on them for their survival and nourishment. You want them there for support.
What you need to grasp is that what is happening between them is happening between them. Now, while you are a part of the family, you are not a part of argument, so don't take it personally and don't try to understand it. It is irrational, it is painful and agonising and it is really hard to see two people you love fighting to the death of their relationship.
Just remember that even though the relationship between them is changing, your relationship with them as individuals is unlikely to change.
All you can do is be there for them and give them the support they need in their time of need.
Also, best not to take sides.
Good luck!
2007-11-13 23:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by Judo Chop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk your school counselor about what is happening with your family. Maybe they can have a conference with both parents to remind them that YOU are still there and need them BOTH even if they are not together physically.
2007-11-13 23:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by The Evolution of T. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm really sorry to hear that...that's always a tough situation, especially if your mom is sad about her father's death...maybe she just needs more time to cope..and i really don't see why she's arguing w/ your dad though??
2007-11-13 23:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by Coolio A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats hard one time i got mad at my family and lived at my friends house for a week while they worked it out
2007-11-13 23:42:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋