Been married for 25 years and the passion is gone. We have sex once a week?

Question

but it's mostly all about his needs getting met. I am attractive, not overweight and I never thought my husband would act so disinterested in me. He treats me more like a sister nearly than his wife. He's not affectionate at all except for an occasional peck. No tenderness, no french kissing, and nothing sensual. He does however, engage in porn...do you think there's any connection to his lack of interest in me and the porn or is this kind of normal behavior for a 64 year old. I'm 50. Thanks for your input!

I would really like you to only answer my question of "do you think there's any connection between the lack of interest and his porn stuff".

Thanks so much!!!

Answer 1

I know I'm going to get boo'd for this, but I think there most DEF. is a connection!

Most who have answered have been married 15 yrs and lower most relationship issues don't pop up til 19-20 yrs .. those cute things are slightly annoying, now at 20+ yrs it's horrible! lol

I have the same problem tho and we're married 23 .. and I'm to feel porn is OK?! Not.

There's other issues here and I don't feel you should "be happy" to get it once a week, if that's not normal for you .. either way I think talking is the way .. how you get his attention to talk, is the trick tho


Good Luck!

Answer 2

If you're gettin' it once a week, then you're damned lucky. I haven't had sex with my wife for over a year now. We've been married for 27 years now and never really had a great sex life, but now it's completely non existent. And yes, we live like brother and sister as well. I'd give anything I own just to spend an hour with a hot, passionate woman, but it is hopeless. I am trapped in my marriage with no way out in the forseeable future. It depresses me to the point where I just wanna sit down and cry sometimes. What else can I say...?

As far as answering your question about " his lack of interest in you and his porn stuff " goes, yes, I think there might be a connection. Obviously, if he can still get his jollies by watching porn, then he should be able to do the same with you provided you're all say you are. It sounds to me like he's substituting porn for you, and if you're as sexy as say you are, then I don't understand that at all. If I had a physically sexy woman right under my nose, I'd sure as hell be chucking the porn and spending my time with my woman...

Oh, and just for the record, I am 56 years old and could have sex atleast on a daily basis if I had someone who was halfways interested in doing the things necessary to get me going. Well, I am going to stop here before I get way too frustrated...!

Answer 3

Do you watch the porn with him? If you haven't then you may want to try it. I've been married for 15 years, and we have kept our sex life "alive" by keeping our minds open to trying new things. Do you ever talk to him about it? I know that I was feeling much the way you are now - he wasn't kissing me during sex, or any other time - and finally one day, I just let him know that it really bothered me. We talked quite a bit about what we would like from one another in that department, and because we love each other - we try just a little bit harder to remember the "little things". Perhaps if you took a little more initiative - maybe get some fish net stockings, a sexy bra - some long gloves.... dress up for him. Or, maybe surprise him one day and take him to an adult store and say that you would like to pick out something together. If you REALLY want to chage the way things are going, then again #1 - you have to be open to new ideas - no matter how much it may frighten you or even "gross" you out at first and #2 - you need to communicate your feelings about it to him. If you don't like the hard core porn movies - then maybe you can compromise - I know that pay channels like Cinnemax show "soft core" porn on the weekends - and that would be a good place to start. I hope that this helps you. I have been where you are at - where you pretty much feel like room-mates with "perks" - meaning perks for HIM. TALKING is the best way to fix it. I promise you! Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm 63 and I have sex almost every day! Almost on Monday. Almost on Tuesday Almost on Wed.......etc.
Once a week doesn't sound too bad to me!

There is no easy answer. I agree with much of the earlier advise in regards to watching porn together. But perhaps a good start is to share romantic and then more graphic novels and magazines and then soft porn rather than jumping straight into a movie close up of genitalia in action.

Porn is a way of opening the conversation on sexual activity with your partner . We often get so hung up on what is "normal " and what is "abnormal" and so afraid to suggest something different in case the one person in our life who's opinion we really care about is horrified at our "perversity".
Relax there is a lot more of it around than you think

What I am suggesting is do something to change the balance and start the conversation. Because it is not going to get better if you don't. And if at first you don't succeed try try again.



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Answer 5

This is not a personal attack against you or anything, as I'm sure you're an attractive woman, but maybe your husband is just bored after 25 years. Have you suggested or tried to spice it up and try different things? He probably watches porn because it's different or it's just a change of pace. If you're having sex once a week though, that's better than a lot of young couples I know. At any rate, you need to let him know how much this bothers you. Good luck.

Answer 6

actually some thing incorrect which includes your husband ......... at your age i replaced into getting my little bit of nookie another day and each each now and then in the course of the day over the kitchen sink Its basically now, after being married for 40 two years that i'm all the way down to as quickly as each 3 weeks SO, i'd advise which you have words which includes your common practitioner approximately some tablets called "Viagra" as those would help your subject perchance i'm incorrect yet it appears like your husband is a style of guy's that has an exceedingly low intercourse force, which, if it is the case, then there may be little or no which you're able to do approximately it, yet your common practitioner would be waiting to place you proper in this center ................ i desire all of it works out for you

Answer 7

It sounds like you need to openly communicate with him! He is the only one who truly knows the answer. We think so differently from men! You never know what he may be thinking. Maybe he thinks you are not attracted to him any more. Open honest communication is the key to mutually satisfying sex!
I saw a survey somewhere that said U.S. couples average sex once per week. So you guys are on target! If you want more, I have suggestions for that! Plan to have him "catch" you watching his porn either in some sex lingerie or totally nude, whichever turns him on more. Make sure you are stroking, touching, licking yourself! Another thing to try is be ready for when he is in the mood and have a video camera ready to roll. Get it out and propose making your own movie! We have done that and OMG it is so hot to watch yourselves ~ best porn ever!
Of course don't listen to any idiot who says to go out and get a lover! Never a good choice!
Happy film making!

Answer 8

This is not abnormal behaviour and it isn't going to change. He is at an age where the desire has decreased and he really isn't that interested in sex. Probably he can take it or leave it! The porn is really a curiosity and it will probably get boring for him soon. Maybe you'll just become good friends, which is good, I guess.
Of course, if you are really having a bad time then maybe you should get yourself a lover so that your needs are met then you might feel better around your husband. Unless you fall in love with your lover...then you open up another box.

Answer 9

This happens in a lot of marriages and there are a lot of reasons why it happens.

He may be getting his stimulation from the porn he watches.

You can set aside some time to talk with him. You can't argue or make him defensive. I would suggest you going for some counseling to help you talk to him about this in the right way.

Answer 10

It's very normal for men to enjoy watching porn...women to for that matter. But usually the porn only makes the sex life even better. Are you sure it doesn't have something to do with his age. I mean 64 isn't all that old but your in your prime!