17 years ago he loved me and never said so. 17 years past we speak on the phone and confess our feelings for each other as if they were yesterday. We spend hours and days talking. We are totally convinced we are soul mates, true love given a second chance. One problem he is a witness I am not, he is married (no children) he admits he did not marry because he fell in love. He never stopped loving me. He is very involved in WTS he is an Elder. He says he will live to be a miserable old man because he cannot leave. He says I will never understand. I don't. He begs me not to fight for him for fear if I come to him, he will walk away, as he knows he wants to be with me. I love this man so much how do I give him up? I feel after 17 years we found our way back to each other for a reason. Is it fair to his wife to not admit they are not "one." He has not committed any adultery. Does this relationship have any chance? Does he have to be disfellowshipped?
2007-11-13 14:21:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you even consider this your luck will turn to bad in so many ways.. Walk away and turn your life to good, even the thought will bring you bad luck..
2007-11-21 12:57:26 · answer #1 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your plight is a very unfortunate one. You are right, it is not fair to his wife. However, regarding him not 'committing adultery, read Matthew 5:27-30. According to Jesus, committing adultery in your heart is like actually committing the act, because if you are thinking about it, that is the first step to acting on your desire. (James 1:14,15)
As was mentioned in many of the other answers, you should just move on, but, if you do speak to him again, you should remind him of Jeremiah 16:17: "For my eyes are upon all their ways. They have not been concealed from before me, neither has their error been hid from in front of my eyes."
Also Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of Jehovah are in every place, keeping watch upon the bad ones and the good ones."
And Hebrews 4:13 "And there is not a creation that is not manifest to his sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting." Jehovah sees what is going on with the two of you, and He can read the heart.
This man's actions are affecting more than just his wife. Even if no one else knows, he is bringing reproach on Jehovah's name. (Proverbs 27:11 ) His actions are also going to affect the congregation. (Proverbs 11:11; Proverbs 14:34)
And for him personally, he is probably experiencing what is mentioned at Psalms 32:3-5. He will feel better if he follows the counsel at Proverbs 28:13
According to God's Word the Bible, marriage is a life long vow, a permanent bond. It is not taken lightly with Jehovah's Witnesses. Here is more information.
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20020208/article_03.htm
2007-11-16 03:34:19 · answer #2 · answered by izofblue37 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, the constant phone calls and talking for hours and so much in love will slow down and fade away . The fact that he is married !!!! You're not saying if he wants to get a divorce?
Be carful what you wish for you might just get it!!!!
I did!!!! I wasted 7 years to be dumped for a 27 year old co-worker of his. He is 42 i am 47 . When I first saw this man I thought i was in wonderland. I prayed to have him to myself, I asked
God to bring us together, yes we did get together but I don't think it was God doing it.
He tells you whatever you want to hear that will go away too. Lets say everything will work out the way you want it, then maybe one day you be in his wifes shoes.
Be careful the devil is watching too.
2007-11-13 14:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by maria s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship does not have a chance. Witnesses get disfellowshipped for smoking. He would definitely get disfellowshipped for divorce. Grieve the missed opportunity and find someone else.
2007-11-13 14:40:08 · answer #4 · answered by thesees 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to understand his religion in order to understand where he is coming from. JW's are one of the most strict religions out there and even if he were to claim you as a partner your life would be very difficult if you were not use to a religion with so many rules. If he were to divorce his wife he would be excommunicated from his church and his religion is more important to him then a wife. That's just the way they are and you would have to except that.
2007-11-13 14:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go and be friends. If you guys were to get together your beliefs would push you apart.
how could he be true to you when he has taken a vow with another woman and claims not to love her? he made that choice.
2007-11-13 15:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by babegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man has integrity. That is a good thing. Respect his wishes, respect his wife, respect his faith, and walk away.
2007-11-13 14:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not this man is a Jehovah's Witness is irrelevant. HE IS MARRIED. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!
2007-11-14 02:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy of 3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What part of, he's married, don't you understand? If he cheats on his wife, what makes you think he won't cheat on you.
2007-11-19 22:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by Old Man 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off . he as well you have commited adultry that fact and you need to get away from him he.s married
2007-11-13 14:27:28 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋