I just had my abortion exactly one week ago. I feel depressed, guilty, mad at my boyfriend because I feel he didn't take any responsibilities. He was the one who wanted me to go through the process but then he only showed for 10 minutes and the he left. I feel like he's doesn't care about me so I broke up with him TODAY for GOOD. I fell into a despair. I still miss him. I'll try to move on. Time heals.
Was it mistake for me to blame on him? Is it right for me to leave him? Should I tell him I'm sorry and get back with him?
...I just can't think straight..
Love is really blind.
2007-11-13 14:10:54 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just leave things the way it is.
he was only there for 10 minutes and left! thats some messed up stuff ya know? so yeah.
leave it. you'll be depressed for a while but you should get over it. you'll move on.
theres plenty of fish in the sea.
2007-11-13 14:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by _ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No the BF didn't take any responsibility and that action shows the true character of him-cold, careless, heartless & irresponsible.....10 minutes...what a self centered person he is.
You definitely need to move on & wait for the right guy to come along. It will take time for your body to recover from caring a baby in your body and now your body has stopped the nurishment it was supplying to the baby. It is natural you have depression, the blues.
Keep your mind on the positive future you have before you & do not look back or even think of any relationship with this cad. If this guy were to come crawling back to you, I beg you,do not give him one minute of your time. Should you get pregnant by him again he could get so angry at you (your fault) it could cost you your life.
There are groups of support for those that have had abortions. It would help you if you got into one of these groups & share & heal with others that have suffered with like emotions and heartache. You would be strength to each other.
Bless you honey
2007-11-13 14:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-16 10:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it was a mistake to blame aborting your unborn child on him. No it was not wrong to leave him.
In reality, as difficult as it may be to face, you chose to become pregnant by having sex. You cannot blame that on anyone else. You can also blame yourself for your choice in men.
That is not to say that you cannot do something about it. As a woman you can learn to love yourself and deal with the issues that prevent you from expecting more out of life. I highly doubt that this incident was the first time your boyrfriend failed to be responsible. If you sit down and take a long hard look at your relationship you will see that you chose to be with the wrong man. Now to figure out why.
You need to be alone. You need to work on why you do not feel worthy of marriage and commitment prior to giving yourself over to a man. You also need to be alone to have time to heal physically but more importantly, emotionally from the trauma of the abortion. You cannot truly offer anything but baggage in a relationship right now as you are hurting and confused. If you look online you will find other women who have made the choice you have. And talk to them and get through it. Good, bad or indifferent, you made the choice and now you have to deal with the feelings you are having. A new relationship is not going to fix that. Nor is going back to an old mistake.
Here are some resources that you can use.
http://afterabortion.com/
http://www.safehavenministries.com/
http://www.4exhale.org/
2007-11-13 14:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by James Watkin 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Before you even deal with your issues with him, you need to be honest with yourself. Did you want to keep the baby? Did you want him to be happy about the baby? Did you dream that he would want to make a nice little family with you and the baby? You need to admit to all of those feelings and really mourn for what couldn't be.
Beyond that, he's done things that you will always remember and hate him for: he didn't want your child, he didn't care enough to stay with you through the whole abortion....those are BIG things.
It wasn't a mistake for you to blame him. You feel like crap, you're the one stuck feeling guilty and awful, and he doesn't seem to care?
Move on from this relationship. If he couldn't handle a baby with you.....well, he can't handle an adult relationship. You deserve better. You deserve a man who isn't going to desert you in an abortion clinic and make you deal with his problems all alone. You're in my prayers.
2007-11-13 14:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by Jacqueline D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i understand how you feel now.
you broke up with him, that's good. i know it's not easy, you still miss him, you still crying... but as you said, time is really your best friend at the moment.
no one is to be blame now. it doesnt matter anymore. just remember that your body is more important then anything else. take some vitamin to keep your self fit and healthy. smile again, stand tall again and forget all the past...
love is not that blind, darling
2007-11-13 14:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, nothing is a mistake. Don't feel guilty for blaming him because, guess what, it takes TWO people for a relationship, it takes two people to make a child, he was as much part of it as you were. I think deep down you know whether or not he deserves you or not, don't go back to him just because of guilt, if you go back to him it should be because you love him, and for no other reason. But keep in mind that he must feel just as guilty, confused and depressed as you. I don't think you have anything to apologize for, you didn't do anything, you simply did what he persuaded you to do. Just try to relax, I know its hard but try not to think about this. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.....
2007-11-13 14:19:35 · answer #7 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Try to forget about him and move on with your life. Any guy that would encourage you to have an abortion instead of doing anything he can to help you is not a good person.
2007-11-13 14:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by Rena 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not only is love blind, but it is also blinding. But I am glad to hear that you have made a good choice for yourself and let him go for good.
You are a beautiful woman who deserves so much better than he was going to give you. So keep moving forward and don't look back. Forgive yourself and work on forgiving him.
Take some time to regain your self esteem and find a man who will love you. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve and you deserve more than you realize.
Good luck. i will pray for you.
2007-11-13 14:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you sound like you need to go get some counseling. You have a lot of things to talk out with someone. You need to forgive yourself for your part in what was done as he does also.
And no love is not that blind.....
2007-11-13 14:16:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋