My husband and I have been married for over 8 years. Three years ago he started his own business and after the first couple months, he was so busy that i need to quit my job and help him with the work. However, my mother in law thinks that i'm using this as an excuse to quit working. The first 2 years, we worked over 10 hours a day and the business is going well and stable. This year we decided to slow down a bit and enjoy life more. Now besides work, i have some time that i can pick up my hobby again or stay home in the afternoon to relax. But in my mind i always has a fear about what my mother in law will think if she finds out that i have some spare time. Back then when i quit my job, she thought i'm taking advantage of my husband, and when we work all day all night for the business, she ignored my effort. Now, i really have some spare time for myself, but all her 'false thinking' has made me feel guilty for having some personal life. Am I wrong?
2007-11-13 13:14:43 · 11 answers · asked by bulldog 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What is wrong with your mother in law? In the first place what goes on between your husband and you is your business and not hers. Second, why would you be taking advantage of her son? Is he a mommas boy or something, is it so unusual for a husband to take care of his wife? If you can, and it would help, move and don't leave a forwarding address.
2007-11-13 13:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by Katlynnelore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry about what she thinks. It is none of her business and if she runs her mouth about it I would tell her that. Just because she is your mother in law does not mean you have to take whatever she throws at you. If she is being rude call her on it. You do not quit working, you changed where you were working. It would not matter even if you did quit. That is a decision for you and your husband and has nothing to do with her. You are entitled to have some free time. You have worked very hard to get where you are so why should you feel quilty about enjoying it? Her saying that you are taking advantage of your husband is about one of the most ridiculous things that I have heard in a while. What does your husband say about all of this? He should have told her to mind her own business and to keep her opinions to herself. I never worry about what other people think of me. It does not matter and I am still going to do what is best for me. You will find that family and especially in laws cannot stand it when you do well for yourself and they try to run you down. Be proud of what you have done and that you have built this with your husband and do not worry about her. When you stand up for yourself she will soon quit running her mouth. Pick that hobby back up and relax all you want. You and your husband are the only ones that you need to worry about. She is mean and hateful and do not let her take away your happiness. Good luck.
2007-11-13 21:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't feel guilty at all. As far as everything is ok between you and your husband don't worry about anyone else. I know how you feel. When I got married first, all I wanted was approval from my mother-in-law. I tried every which way to please her, but she always found something wrong in what I did. You have worked hard beside your husband to maintain his business, and you owe this to yourself to have a little time for yourself. Don't worry about what if she finds out, and what if you have a little time to do what you like. You also have sacrificed alot to establish a new business. So don;t even worry about her. Hope this helps.
2007-11-13 21:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lonely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I never worry about what my mother-in-law thinks of me. She was not a good mother to my husband so her opinion means absolutely nothing to me. I'm glad that you have the opportunity to do what you want because your business is thriving. That is what you work so hard for to begin with. She lived her life, now live yours happily with your husband. It could just be that she might be a little jealous that she didn't have that kind of life when she was starting out but times have changed and opportunities have changed.
2007-11-13 21:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by helpful one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste a minute more of your time 'worrying' about your mother in laws' approval.
You didn't mention father-in-law, it's usually the females who get catty and freaky.
I used to be borderline paranoid of my m.i.l.'s opinion of me. The day I got mad enough to let it go was a fine day of liberation. Felt so free from then on and got back to being my old self.
Thank God she's now my EX in law.
So you just relax and do whatever makes you happy. Your husband deserves more thought than her. He will be relieved, too.
2007-11-13 21:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some parents can be over protective..think that their children are the best that there are, nothing or no one could possiblly be good enough for them, so they end up putting their noses where they do not belong, and most of the time not wanted, it is none of your mother in laws buisness what goes on in your relatioship, even if it is her son you are married to, you should not care what she thinks and do things the way you and your husband want to do them, do not feel guilty for living your life and trying to find happiness..
2007-11-13 21:26:41 · answer #6 · answered by bebee b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF your husband dont have the balls to tell his mother of all the effort that you have put into the business to make it the success that it is. and he needs to tell her in his own way, to back off of you, because you are his wife, and that you stopped working your previous job because he asked you to.
You need not worry about it.....tell him to get some balls and stand up to his mama. and take up for you
2007-11-13 21:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your mother in law talk to you about this, or do you think this is what she thinks? Have you and your husband talked about it? What does he think?
2007-11-13 21:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by munxkin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty. You and your husband are a team and should do what is best for you.
2007-11-17 16:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never worry about what someone else thinks of you. You deserve to have time to yourself. this spare time wasn't given to you, U earned it!!!!
2007-11-14 00:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by babegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋