►Can you write an amusing story that includes 6 of these phrases?

Question

1. There's some bad voodoo in this place.
2. Deeply in love and totally insane.
3. A firm hold of my heart
4. I ain't giving up, man.
5. Holy cow!!! Those two sure are funny.
6. Tell me exactly what you saw and what you think it means.
7. Watch out for Miss Kitty! She's not a woman, she's The Terminator.
8. Rear window
9. The garden gate.
10. MattBaby and Sunshine are in Hee Haw Paradise.

Answer 1

“I ain’t givin up, man,” cried Eddy, “there’s gotta be a way outta this place!”

“Rear window,” said Fiona placidly, pointing above her. Her eyes stayed glued to the newspaper, as she reclined in the easy chair.

“Ah, yes,” said Eddy, realizing he had walked by the window several times since he began searching for an escape, “there’s some bad voodoo in this place. Makin’ me overlook things.”

“Mmmhmm,” mused Fiona. She teased her spiky blue hair, before closing her eyes and sighing. Eddy looked at her and felt his face flush.

“She done got a firm hold of my heart,” he grinned.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he backtracked, realizing he had spoken out loud. She shrugged, and resumed her nap. Eddy looked at her pert, sharp nose, her elegant chin and neck, the topaz stud pierced in her nose, and the tattoo descending in her supple cleavage that said, ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE. She was the hottest ticket in all of Mayfield, population 400. And he was deeply in love and totally insane for this punk angel amidst a sea of plain Janes.

But before he could win her affections, he had to get them out of this subterranean dungeon. Their very lives depended on it. It was pure serendipity that put them together, just as the glowing UFO landed, emptying its cargo of Richard Simmons clones upon the unsuspecting earth. Shrill cries of terror mingled with “Sweatin’ to the Oldies”, but they had eluded the onslaught…for now.

“REAR WINDOW,” Fiona reminded Eddy.

“Yes, yes, I was just going to do that,” he said. He immediately opened the portal, prepared to climb through, but got stuck just as a horde of marching aliens advanced upon the cellar.

“Watch out for Miss Kitty! She's not a woman, she's The Terminator,” said Fiona, suddenly alerted to Eddie’s screams. She pulled Eddy back through the window, just as laser fire erupted from the outside.

“You SAVED me,” gushed Eddy. He leaned over to kiss his spiky-haired goddess, but was rejected with a hard smack to the forehead. He fell, unconscious, as Fiona prepared to battle Miss Kitty.
==========================================

“Holy cow!!! Those two sure are funny,” said Commander Barcus. “if this reality show doesn’t win a second season, I’ll get my terrier fixed.”

“Aye,” agreed Ted the Intern. “Shall I turn off the monitors or do you wish to see more?”

“Tell me exactly what you saw and what you think it means,” urged Barcus. “If we want to sell our sponsors on renewing “Invasion Survivor Romantic Escape Deathmatch”, we need to know what makes it tick.”

“Hot punk chicks slapping pimply geeks in the midst of advancing robotic death squads,” said Ted the Intern. “Kind of like “Joanie Loves Chachi”, only with…more slapping, tons of burning metal, and unrequited love.”

Barcus chuckled. “Call the sponsors! Tell them to meet us for lunch at “The Garden Gate”. I’m in the mood for spring rolls.

Ted the Intern furiously pounded his cell phone, but moments later pocketed it in dismay. “We lost our sponsors…..they’re backing a whole new reality show they say, something called “MattBaby and Sunshine are in Hee Haw Paradise”.

“Damn, we were so close this time,” lamented Barcus. “Oh well….the spring rolls are on me. Grab your coat.”

END

Answer 2

(10) MattBaby and Sunshine are in Hee Haw Paradise all the time it seems. (2) As everyone knows they are deeply in love and totally insane for each other which is all well and good. But (5) Holy cow!!! Those two sure are funny to watch. That Matt Baby just fawns all over her and believes every word she says. He's like a little puppy.

Last night I saw them out my (8) rear window. They were walking past (9) the garden gate and I could hear her telling him (7) "Watch out for Miss Kitty!!! She's not a woman, she's the Termintor." (As you all know, she never misses a chance to bad mouth Miss Kitty.) Anyway, I about busted a gut laughing watching Matt's head going up and down, nodding in agreement, like a bobble head doll. It was so funny, I decided to make some bobble head dolls of Matt and see if I can get Wilbur to sell them down at the Mercantile. I bet even Sunshine would buy one. She just loves it when Matt is nodding his head "yes" to anything she says.

Answer 3

I found myself in the far west. Smoke from the air took my breath as the sun slowly descended into a dark gray night. I thought to myself, there's some bad voodoo in this place. So I kept walking naked and dizzy away from what was and what had been with a firm hold of my heart. Something from behind, what was it? I ain't giving up, man! I couldn’t speak, not a note from my mouth. Rear window, no! Then it hit me! Like a wild bull full of rage against a world that would kill him. The garden gate! I was flying at the speed of time and space with out resistance. The animal had taken my body and mind. I was at its mercy. Deeply in love and totally insane. When he let me down I was in a land of soft ground and dim hope. Blinded by temptation I was able to ask its name. Who are you? No answer came. Where am I? But still no answer was given. I felt my feet start to sink in to the soft sea of red I was standing in. Deeper and deeper I sank. I couldn’t move, I wanted to fight but my body was limp as an old man at the end of his life. I was sinking in what was surely my doom…….. It was at this moment I closed my eyes and began the dance of mercy and helplessness. I was going to die and the end looked dark. As death was closing in on my I took one last final breath and tried to think of all the good things in my life. As the last drop of the blessed air left my body I felt it!!!!!!!!! My dog was licking my feet? What was this? I wasn’t dead at all; in fact I was on the couch naked with Pink Floyd’s, “Echoes” on repeat!!!!