I'm bi and only in 8th grade. how should i handle it...?

Question

like should I tell my parents? or would that basically be pointless.
and also how can i find other bi ppl to talk to cuz i live in a town where pretty much everyone is straight...

Answer 1

I think you should just worry about your school work instead of other boys and girls. I know that is really hard to do at your age but I promise you that it will pay off in the long run.

Answer 2

Well here's what I would do. (Of course depending on your parents, tell them. If they're Christians, ixnay on the telling! ha) I would just not worry about it at this point because the chances of you being able to meet up with any bi/gay/open minded people are PRETTY SLIM until you're at least into college... I'm sorry to let you know this but this has been my experience. You'll probably have a great time in college finally feeling really accepted- IF you care about being accepted, which we shouldn't but most of us do anyway. ;-) Anyhow just don't put too much thought into it, you'll find the right person but you're so young I guess all you need to worry about right now is what would make you happiest for a career/lifestyle and what's the best way to get there, and the person will just sort of come along when you're ready. No worries, be happy! Good Luck!

Answer 3

I'm sure it was an interesting experience to ask yourself whether you were straight, lesbian, or bi. What you should realize is that you are still discovering yourself at this point. Somewhere down the road you might decide that you're actually lesbian and not into guys at all, or you might decide that you're actually straight and that it was just a phase.

I'm sure a lot of people here would agree that since you're only in 8th grade, you might change your mind about being bi. I had a friend who actually dated one of her female friends for a while before she realized that it wasn't really any kind of sexual attraction she was feeling.

As a matter of fact, I myself was "questioning" a year or so back. I thought I might be bi, and what's more is that everyone seems to consider me rather effeminate. I hang out with almost exclusively girls, I'm emotional and romantic, I like girly movies and books, etc etc. The phase passed and I decided that it wasn't coming back. I'm straight.

Telling your parents would be a bad idea if you think they would respond negatively, especialy because, as I said, you might end up being straight anyway.

But, if you think that they would accept you, maybe you *should* talk to your parents about it. Their advice will probably have much more of an impact than ours.

Good luck, and don't stress about it too much. Life is there for you to enjoy it.

Answer 4

First of all, make sure that you are really bi Most people go through a stage at around 11-15 where they have suspicions of being gay or bi. If you are sure, the best thing is to tell your parents because believe it or not they can help a lot. As far as finding other bi people, wait until you are older. Just hang out with straight people for a few years until someone like you meets you.

Answer 5

honestly, i'm not trying to be demeaning or anything. but i think that so many people i know have gone through the entire "bi" experience and then decided that they were actually straight, that at this early age you could almost just chalk it up as a stage.

either way though, i'd wait a while to tell your parents. especially if in your town, as you say, being homosexual or bisexual is so taboo. they might take it badly.

however, you should research it thoroughly, maybe talk to your very best friends. as long as they understand what you're going through, you don't need to find other "bi people".

Answer 6

I'm bi too and in 9th grade. Here is what you need to know:

First, i think that before telling your parents, you should have an idea of how they will handle it. If you think they will accept you for who you are, and if you are comfortable with them knowing, then sure, go ahead. But before you tell your parents, I will confide in a few very trusted friends. Make sure they are trustworthy, because in my school if you tell the wrong person, you might as well just annouce it over the intercom.

Second. realize that you are not alone. There is bound to be someone out there for you. One in Thirty ppl is LGBT, so saying "everyone is straight" is kind of contradicting. There are always chatrooms, and i think you don't need me telling you to watch out for pervs.

I wish you good luck in coming out of the closet!

Answer 7

The same way anyone else in 8th grade handles their sexuality: awkwardly.

On the other hand, if it makes you feel any better, adults are no better and handling sexuality than 8th graders are, in many cases. And the more complex the issue (read: bi/gay/trans/intersex, etc.) the harder it is to handle, since there is even LESS cultural wisdom about "how to do that". My advice is find some older people who are also bi and ask them for advice. You'll likely get as many different opinions as people that you ask.

Answer 8

You dear girl,

First I want to say that many people have responded with good intentions, but unfortunately, most of them are misguided. Some are beyond misguided and should seek help. Do not listen to them. They are as confused as you are.

As for you, you CAN NOT possibly know that you are bi, so please don't declare it as though it is a certainty. In fact, I think you know that already. Are you looking for the reaction of other people? Are you desperate for sex so you want to have it with just about anyone? Think about what is motivating you to say that you are bi. This is very important.

Also consider that the vast majority of people around the world are heterosexual. There is a smaller percentage who are gay. In each of those cases, there are usually biological drives that cause someone to choose that way. How does one explain "bi"? The answer must certainly come down to choice rather than biological drives. Do you choose to not have any discretion over this area of your life? Do you choose to make your life much more complicated and possibly forgo ever having a "normal" family life someday? That is what you are risking with such a strong declaration. Please think about that.

I know you may be confused about feelings and sex, and that's perfectly normal at your age. If you are agonizing over this, talk to your mom or other close adult. Unless they're terrible people, they will help you sort through it. Maybe do some volunteer work or help at your church... it will help you focus on the world around you and not so much on yourself.

Peace.

Answer 9

Hello. When I was your age, I had the same feelings as you. I liked men and women. I happen to be a gay woman now - but here are some of my thoughts. When a person is your age, adolescence makes you feel strong feelings and many feelings you have never felt before. I would hesitate to say that you are bi at this young age. I think it is normal of people your age to think the way you do and I don't think that it makes a person bi. Just give yourself time to grow up and don't be so quick to label yourself at such a young age. At your age it is normal for girls to really care for another girl. Some people then develop feelings for men and the feelings they had for women change. Please do not label yourself yet. You are too young to do that.

Answer 10

only tell your parents if your ready. They might think its a phase though so i'd wait if i were you. I cant really help that much though because im kinda in the same situation right now. (8th grade, bisexual, small town barely any gay/bi people.) So yea...feel free to e-mail or IM me if you wanna chat.

Answer 11

Well this is a question that cant always be answered online, no one here knows wat your home life is like. If you are sure that you are bi then you should tell someone you completly trust. It could be family , friends, or a teacher, anyone. As long as you know who you are and except it then the people you tell should accept it as well. Good luck~ from one bi to another