Hi, my name is Chen (pronounce Wen)....and I've been feeling kinda depressed.....I miss my complete Best Friend, knowing she wudnt be getting married...you see?
i miss my ex gf, Lauren, a lot, you could see the whole story of how we got together in my other questions....it's been quite a few months and I miss her....apparently I found out she had an arranged marriage by her family...I mean, she's still not married yet tho...but......can I still get her to be my gf? I miss the laughs, picking on her, and having her always come over to my house everyday and watching our favorite azn dramas together, and how we use to play songs onto piano from the dramas, and many more factors....any help?
I remember how her family canceled the arranged marriage after she talked to them a few months ago, but then, they changed their minds later and that's how we broke up...I hate this feeling sooo much...Help plz? How can I get a lost heart back? or How can I get over being confused..all the tyme?
2007-11-13 11:59:47 · 6 answers · asked by Chen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Chen,
maybe it's time you moved on, buddy. If you were going to be a player in the game, the family would have been considering you already.
If you won and kept her heart, she'd have stuck it through and fought for you.
I know you feel that you really love her.
Perhaps you should try, but I'm warning you - going against the family is like pushing sh!t uphill! The whole Romeo and Juliet thing has happened and people have made it work. But consider yourself. Consider your resources.
If you really would die without her (I know you feel that way) then maybe you should have a go. Write to her. Call her. Email her. SMS her. Be a friend, meet the family. But it's hard.
My advice is for you to cut ties now and move on. You'll find another girl easily enough (unless you are on mainland China or in one of those parts where guys outnumber the girls 5:1). You may not think so now, but give it time. Get over it. You'll be able to find happiness elsewhere.
2007-11-13 12:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. It seems that this bond you ahve, even without reading the other questions, is much more than the usual young chemical rush that we have the first few times we fall head over heels.
I will tell you one thing that I can only hope will console you, if not fix things.
First, you should see the movie, "Fiddler on the Roof," but I'm guessing you won't have time or access...
There is a song in it, sung by the parents of a daughter who refuses an arranged marriage for your exact reasons.
The parents themselves had an arranged marriage, and now the father is wondering if his wife ever loved him. He sings to her, asking her... and she is shocked, because who ever in their culture really thinks about it?
She sings-
"After twenty-five years of making your food, and washing your clothes and raising your kids... After twenty-five years, YES, I love you."
People who are forced into such marriages know their roles, play them, learn to cooperate, and THEN appreciate the other person.
People who get married for love are doomed to wonder if they, too, will be among the 60% that divorce.
Hmmm....
be happy for her.
Even though I know your family would probably never know where to begin to arrange one for you!
2007-11-13 12:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck mate, that's an uphill struggle. I don't want to go into the sociology of it but it's gonna be uphill.
They've 3000 years of culture supporting that whole aranged marriage thing...... I know what it's like. I'm married and my best friend [a girl] slipped her hand down my boxershorts and did a lot of things and it kinda freaked me out. Now I' can't really talk to her because it seems she wanted me all along..... I miss her terribly but I don't want to get close to her again incase she thinks I want a relationship. It's hard. I miss her...... Good luck dude.
2007-11-13 12:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by Put_ya_mitts_up 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-sigh- this is so sad and i feel really sorry for u. but it sounds as tho ur chinese and i havent heard of arranged marriages in ages.. so idk what to do in your case. maybe u can elope...but that'll drive dem azn mothafukas crazy so i wouldn't do that..but dont give up hope!
2007-11-13 12:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel. Go up to her, confess your love (even if it seems cheesy, it won't be to her) then hopefully she can convince her parents to cancel
2007-11-13 12:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
offer to sacrafice a fetal pig in honnor of their poor decision
2007-11-13 12:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by rancho 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋