I've been thinking about my old friends lately. Their married now, and....we we're such great friends before...I know times have changed even really bad things happened between us.......but I just want to let them know how much they meant to me.....and how sorry I was for what they perceived as toxic. I never meant to put them down in any way shape or form but I think they took it that way, (my need for approval mistaken for bragging and then causing them to feel inferior)....So, should I, for the very very last time just tell them how I feel and then forget it......or just forget it all together?
2007-11-13 11:49:23 · 26 answers · asked by ~~~Tara~~~ 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Bethany, If more than 60 days have passed I would be inclined to let it be. If you can not get cloture, telephone them. Chances are they have already moved on and do not even recall the things that seem to be bothering you. Could be what you see as misbehavior on your part was not perceived the same way by your friends. Since they are married now you will not be included in the same activities unless you have a guy on your arm when you arrive. You are single, you are now a threat to married friends for the most part. You now have little in common with them (that they can see)
2007-11-13 12:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by fretochose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It never hurts to admit when we're wrong. It takes a strong/caring person to admit they made a mistake, but means a lot for them to acknowledge it. I think a lot of a person who can do just that. Some might just not take it the rite way, but they sure can't fault you for trying to "rite" things. I feel that certainly would be a fine gesture, & what can it really hurt anyway,,,,,, Aren't many people who would even think about it. Kudos to you for your line of thinking. And, especially at this time of year, you could even mention you've been thinking of years gone by & the ones you're thankful for having as friends through out the years just brought back memories. Good for you! It's the little things in life that really count.
2007-11-14 00:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sue C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have never told them how you feel now, tell them. If you have tried before and gotten nowhere, it can't hurt to try again. They will probably forgive you but will have a difficult time getting back to the trust they once had until you show them that you have changed. You may have to make overtures of friendship again, asking them out to have some fun together and giving them time and opportunity to perceive the changes you have made in your attitude. Good luck.
2007-11-13 19:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, they have already walked away. that chapter in your life is closed. Don't reopen it, the wounds are still too fresh. And honestly, if they are married and you're not, chances are you won't remain friends for that much longer anyway. people change when they get married and single friends fall to the wayside. Don't forgetthemt, because it was a good time in your life. Just let it go for now and when you're married and things are different for you, call them then. Let the past lie for a while.
2007-11-13 19:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be healthy for you to tell them. I don't see the harm in you admitting your wrong doings and wanting to not have bad blood. That is a noble move and it will heal you. Congrats on realizing your bad ways and trying to make amends. Thats awesome and you will feel like a weight has been lifted if everything goes well and your old friends are forgiving people. Good luck dear
2007-11-13 19:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, everyone is right about this. You need closure on the matter and the best way to achieve it is to speak your heart to them and open up to them and then you will know you have done all you can. Then it is their problem. How they take it or how they react is their issue. You have put your cards on the table and spoken to them from your heart. If they cannot meet you half-way at least by being sincere and up-front with you, then they have additional issues that are not up to you to heal. They would have to work through that part on their own.
2007-11-13 21:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it means that much to you then let them know your feelings. Poor your heart out and leave the door open for them to get back to you. Hopefully they will have matured enough to move past the PAST. Good luck and whatever happen stop beating yourself up over water under the bridge. Once you let them know how you feel the ball will be in their court.
2007-11-13 19:53:23 · answer #7 · answered by Ethelucy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would tell them exactly how things really were and that they took you the wrong way, if they were really good friends i'm sure they could understand and if they dont at least you know that you tried to explain yourself, you can sleep easy and forget all about it.
2007-11-13 19:56:54 · answer #8 · answered by James B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let them know how you feel, and they will see that you are a good friend to admit when you were wrong.It may bring you back to friends again.Don't just forget it as it will make you feel better about yourself.If they still don't want to be friends then it is their loss and you will have a clear conscious
2007-11-13 19:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by mamaw2305 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm of the "Let sleeping dogs lie" frame of mind. You and they have already moved on, and at this point, the apologies would most likely be at their expense. Meaning it might only be for you, you might be drudging up something they don't want to drudge up. I would say don't put your guilt off on them just to ease your conscience (said a bit more harshly then intended, but I hope you understand what I mean).
2007-11-13 20:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋