what do i need to do??

Question

i was married for 9 years and me and my wife got a divorce in 04 i got sole custody of my son she gave me him with only visitations for her 1 weekened a month she only calls him 2x a month he is 7. now she got remarried and told me he wasnt mine well i went and got a paternity test a secret one and he is not mine. i dont want her to get him back and then i have to pay child support for him when he is not mine i looked online and this is what happens she told me she is taking me to court to get him back and going to order a paternity test which i already know the results. we were married at the time what should i do?

we were married at the time of conception but obviously she was in bed with someone else. she left for another guy and didnt want her son because he was going to interupt her lifestlye now she is married to another guy and 3 years later wants her son?

i went online and in this type of simialar situations since i am not the biological parent i would loose and yet still have to pay child support when he proven to still not be mine

does any one know any websites that can help me find out for this kind of case in missouri
i am in the army and stationed in ak

Answer 1

Work with an attorney. Since you were married at the time, and assumed full custody for years, you should be able to be considered his legal parent, as you had reason to believe that he was yours and treated him like a son. Having been married at the time of birth, I assume your name is on the birth certificate. It would be difficult for her to wrest rights away from you.

However, she may end up with custody and you with visitation. But since she gave up custody, it is entirely possible that you will get custody if you fight for it -- especially if you are a good parent.

Answer 2

ouch. so this kid you have been raising and have custody of isn't yours?

she gets full custody of the boy. it's her son, not yours. ethically, she had no business leaving the child with you especially since you weren't even the father. so i can only assume she knew from the beginning. however, you were married at the time of divorce. and at the very beginning of the divorce, you are asked if you are the father of the child in question. this is where all men should say "i request a paternity test". regardless of whether the child is theirs or not. you have already claimed legal responsibility. so...in order to get out of child support, you will need to find the father of the child. document the time you were informed of not being the father. date, time, how she told you (i.e. over the phone, in person, was there a witness?)

best bet if you are insisting not to pay child support, then you might need an attorney. but all those years vested in the child, is down the drain. so do keep in mind the trauma you will be causing the child. and after this is established in court. you do realize you will never have access to see or talk to that child again.

Answer 3

If your name is on the birth certificate as father,then you have all legal rights to him. In court, dont challenge her but show the Judge how you raised him the past 7 yrs or so andthat untiljust recently you alwas thought of him as your natural son and raised him as such and now tha she lives in somewhat idealconditions she wants to disrupt your sons life for no apparent good reason. She knowingly listed you as the fatheron the certificate knowing that there could be a chance you may not be the father but held you legally as such and never told you any different. Now she has to show you as unfit to remain as custodian parent which isnt always easy to do. Also the courts dont always follow previous cases as they should if you show a strong case against the norm. Good luck

Answer 4

Sorry to hear this , but if you really love this child doesn't matter if is your's or not then you should go to court first and explain the situation and if you want still become responsible in all the ways a judge will signed papers and maybe you can still get custody or at least visitaions....Is not just refuse to the child so you will no longer have anything to do with him.. It is sad that she did this to you and to him it is not fair... SO do what you think is best ....Just remember it is not the kids fault he is just a victim just like yo too..Best wishes ...:)

Answer 5

It is too late now, you have become the father of the child on his birth certificate. Since you have the paternity test results there is nothing to fear, let her and encourage her to do it. The problem here is the child who is 7 years old who knows you as his dad. How do you feel about it, the child does not care about these technical results, the child knows you as the daddy. You have to decide what to do, nobody here can give you the right answer to your problem.

Answer 6

Get a very good atty. But if you are not the biological father, you might not have a leg to stand on. The good news is if you are not the biological father, you might not have to pay child support. The state of Illinois mandates 20%.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Have you thought about leaving the country as you will not win and your son needs you.

Answer 8

Holy crap, what a messed up situation. Contact a lawyer and tell him your story. Good Luck.

Answer 9

You should keep being his father. That is what you are to him, and his needs are so much more important than the wounds of your pride and ego.

Keep counting those blessings!

Answer 10

You don't need a website. You need an attorney. Good luck finding one that won't scr*w you over.