my daughters Sierra(12) and Kasey(4) and Step daughter Elli(12) are being pushed too hard. they all cheer and tumble but i feel like my husband is pushing them too hard. they love it but my husbad helps with it and if they dont do something perfect he makes they keep doing it until they do even if its 4 hours after tumbling is over (which has happened. he can stay later because he works there) they love it but i feel like its too much.
2007-11-13 11:22:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fathers have pushed there children way too hard as long as there have been sports. It's normal, at least he is showing an interest.
2007-11-13 11:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by Steve is cool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact his wife cheated and quickly remarried is none of your concern. However, if the kids live with her and she expects you to pick them up and basically assume responsibility for them simply because you are a stay at home mom that is not right. I see your husbands point though that if you do that then at least he can see his kids every day. Still, it is unreasonable to expect you to do this on a daily basis when they are living with the ex. I suggest you sort out a schedule and agree to doing this say 3 times a week so your husband can see his children. You said you wouldn't mind a few days a week and that is fair but I agree expecting you to assume all the responsibility for the other two kids on a daily basis is unfair. I imagine with her job she makes a decent salary so can afford to hire someone a couple of days a week to take care of them after school. I also suggest you tell the ex that you will be more than happy to help out a few days a week but given you are not working money is tight and you would appreciate her paying for the gas you are using because it is expense and you can't really afford the extra cost. I only recommend asking this if your husband is paying child support though because if he isn't then he should at least be paying for the gas that is allowing him to see his children.
2016-05-23 01:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"they love it but i feel like its too much"
As long as this is the truth and it is not to the detriment of their educations, then I say - let them be perfectionists.
If he is truely pushing them and they don't WANT to be doing it, then you know it and need to address the issue.
People like Tiger Woods, Nadia Komeniche, etc.... found what they were destined to do/be at a very early age and with the right coaching have made huge successes (and $$) for themselves.
Not sure how much $ there is in professional cheer - but if they are loving it and don't feel pressured, its fine. be happy you have a husband that is involved with his daughters. Just keep the communication open, so that they can feel comfortable in speaking up if it is no longer their life's passion to put in these type of hours on the mat.
2007-11-13 11:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by aa889d 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
voice your concerns to him -- maybe he could lighten up a little. and make sure the girls really do love it. if the girls don't think it's too hard on them, don't worry about it. but if you can actually see that it's causing problems for them, he really needs to back off a bit. i don't think it's a bad thing to work them hard...it's good for their character in the long run, as long as it's not overdone to the point of being almost abusive. if at any point, any of the girls feel it's too much, they should be allowed to slow down or quit, if it's not their thing anymore. your husband has to be careful not to live vicariously through them.
2007-11-13 11:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a perfectionist and a bit of a control freak. He needs to back off and let the girls have fun, not make back breaking work out of this.
2007-11-13 11:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just wants them to be the best. But the problem is, you can never be the best. Your husband is doing something good for your children but in a negative way.
2007-11-13 11:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mango b. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak up! These are your children (and step-child) as well so you have the right to an opinion and as a mother, you have the right to take action.
Let him know that he is wearing these girls out and that if he continues to make their fun activity a chore, that eventually they're not going to be interested in it anymore. Explain that they are just kids and he is putting way too much pressure on them to be perfect.
When you see him over working them, tell them "Okay girls, good job, let's go for a break." You're just as much of their parent as he is and you have the right to decide when enough is enough.
2007-11-13 11:27:06 · answer #7 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He needs a new hobby!
It's great he wants to help, but honestly, why is cheering so important to him? More important than music lessons and homework and something they can make a career out of?
I wonder how he plans to introduce more balance in their lives.
Joy to you!!!
2007-11-13 11:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as their school work and social lives aren't being affected in a negative way, i wouldn't be too worried. look at their eating habits and personalities. have they been more withdrawn? or are they outgoing and cheery?
or maybe you could start doing something girly with them. maybe a girl's mani pedi evening out?
2007-11-13 11:47:14 · answer #9 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if the children are content and happy..And he feels he is well off in teaching them this than why bother...If the children start making remarks than step in...You should be so happy that he pays attention and wants what is best for them...Your just worring about nothing if they are fine with it
2007-11-13 11:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by getagrip 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋