I know that this has probably been addressed many of times, but I would like to know some thoughts on this(serious ones only). Why is it that in the beginning of the relationship he was the softee and I wore the pants, he was always sweet, sensative, loving. Now that we are married its what he says goes and I am all of a sudden worried about everything, like if he's happy, have I changed, has he changed. I have completely turned to mush and now I am the one going the extra mile to be sweet, sensative, loving... I don't like the tables being turned...How do I get my pants back??
2007-11-13 11:08:53 · 16 answers · asked by Jamie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You may be terribly enlightened, and have certain ideas of how things ought to be. But once you're married and really get into the nitty gritty of daily life, your brain takes most of its ideas of how things should be from the family life you grew up with. It's hard wired, you really have to catch yourself doing it. I'd sit him down for a good chat.
2007-11-13 11:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must make the money! That is what happens. you have to do what he says cause if you made more you would have the confidence to tell him like it is. I am not saying this to be mean. It happens to the best of us. you have to get that back. And there is only one way to do it. Make him think you don't care one way or the other about what he does, where he goes, or who he goes with. Don't greet him at the door when he comes home, don't cook for him. It sounds harsh but he will soon be crawling to you for attention and you will have him in the palm of your hands once again. I am so sure people will give low ratings, but I am here to tell you this works.
2007-11-13 19:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by justmyopinion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting him take charge! The problem is, you've allowed him to take over. Instead, start doing what you used to do and explain to him that this marriage is a two way street. Neither of you should be "wearing the pants"; it should be an equal and compromising type of thing.
2007-11-13 19:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should you wear the pants over your husband?
How about if both of you work together to achieve your goals.
If you in past gave him reasons not to trust your judgement then maybe that is why you are out from the decision making.
Or he may have fooled you believing that you would be in charge till he got what he wanted.
Or maybe the honeymoon is over for you.
2007-11-13 19:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't be who wears the pants it should be about being treated equally. You two are partners not boxers. You both should be doing nice things for one another. What happened was you continued to do loving things for him while he is slipping by not doing those things anymore. You probably feel unappreciated and not as in love as you once were. Men tend to forget the special things they once did. You need to talk to him and tell him all those special things he use to do for you that made you want him badly.
2007-11-13 19:14:47 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My relationship is the opposite! I got the pants after the marriage. My husband says that he now has to get permission to go to the bathroom . haha. i dont know how i did it though. He still lost the sweetness! Im curious how to fix that too.
2007-11-13 19:13:41 · answer #6 · answered by tcb 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about a 50-50 partnership. Neither one of you should rule with an iron fist. Take a deep breath and reconsider what's going on in your marriage.
2007-11-13 20:15:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got the pants not too long ago, but we do trade them every once in a while. when i want them back i just act as if what he does, doesn't bother me one bit (even if he goes out late with his friends), then bam i got them back. my man likes the attention i give him so he tries hard and gets it. this always works, i just hope that someday he will catch on. LOL! funny how things work out.
2007-11-13 19:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by 1monkey2butterflies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before men are married, we are carefree and we do whatever we like. But when we get married and we make a vow to the women we love. To protect them and to die for them, its in our nature to be...i guess agressive. Dont worry its how all men are. We tend to want to protect our wives and we feel that working and stuff, we feel a sense of "manhood" in the house and that i guess in some sort of way to sometimes want things done right only to protect who we love. Dont worry all relationships in marriage are like this, it is only through love and the need to protect you that he is like this. Just love him the way you are and dont make him seem like he has to try hard to convince you to love him because he is doing alot to want you and protect you.
2007-11-13 19:16:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one thing he needs to wear the pants. a man has to feel like a man to be happy.men have egos as big as barns and they need to feel like theyre in control. marriage is a fifty fifty thing but men still have to be the boss. at least to some extent, or they will find someone who makes them feel like a man. trade your pants in for a nice sexy mini skirt.
2007-11-13 19:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by Fran M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋