How far can you go to save your marriage?

Answer 1

It doesnt matter how far you go to save your marriage. It depends on how far you both go to save the marriage. Marriage takes 100% from both parties.

Answer 2

Im answering this from personal experience here.

I was married to a woman for six years who had two kids from a previous marriage. After the first year, I knew it wasnt going to be hearts and roses. But I made the committment and I owed it to her and the kids to see it through. After the third year, she cheated on me first with a woman and then a man....seperate occurances all within the same time frame. We worked through it and vowed to make it, mostly due to my stepson taking our seperation horribly, horribly bad. Again, I stayed trying to do the right thing for the family.

Eventually it came to that we were nothing more than roommates raising children with me being the financial provider. After three more crappy years of no intimacy, no compassion nor time spent as a couple, I came home from work on lunch to find her with another guy. That was it.

So let me explain this to you. If things are bad, you try to fix but you must understand that some things and some people arent fixable. No matter how much you hit that wall, the wall wont break but YOU will. You dont possess enough love or character within you to make do the job for two people in a single relationship. No matter how hard you try and no matter how good of a person you are, if you both arent trying and caring it wont work.

The difference is that I could have had three years back of my life if I would have wised up years ago. If I would have listened to people instead of thinking I could change her. I wanted to be the knight in shinning armor so badly but in the end, I was just a guy on a broken down mule and wearing rags.

Fast forward to now. I have met someone that is so incredible. We have so much in common and have such a great time together. Everything just comes easy. So easy. Its not a fight over every.single.thing.every.single.time.

So the moral of this story is...fight the good fight and do the right thing but there is nothing wrong with swimming for the shore if the boat is going down in flames. There is no award for staying to the end when you are dead.

Good luck my friend

Answer 3

Pretty far. There is a reason why I asked my wife to marry me, and heck if I'm going to let stupid problems get in my way.

In my opinion, many of today's married couples give up too easily. They forget the commitment that underlies their vows. To them, it's just another date. Then again, too many people get married too soon. They don't take time to look at the big picture and ask the essential questions, not only about their partners-to-be but also about themselves:

1. Am I ready for a commitment? Is he/she?
2. Am I financially capable? Is he/she?
3. Would a family suit me (kids)? Does it suit her/him?
4. Do I like his family? Do they like me? Do our families like each other?
5. Are we culturally, religiously, emotionally compatible?
6. Are we mature enough to accept changes in our life together?
7. If he/or she loses the ability to have sex, where do I stand? What about the other way?

Marriage is another word for commitment. Commitment to another person over yourself, and this should be true both partners. That way the union is then based of self-less love and compassion.

Does great sex equal great marriage? Yes and no. Sex is a factor in considering your partner, but it should not be the sole reason for a life-changing decision. Perception and physiology change with time, and more often than not sex takes a downside as age progresses. That's when companionship comes into play, and marriage should be beyond just physical intimacy.

For kids (I should say teens) who get pregnant prematurely. It's time to grow up fast. However, in my opinion, marriage should not be forced on you and support for the child must be arranged. When you are emotionally and financially able, then you can decide if you want to pursue marriage. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen that way for most people with unexpected or unwanted pregnancies.

So, back to the main question, "How far can you go to save your marriage?" Pretty darn far. How far can I go to save myself?

But life teaches us that marriage has ups and downs, and too much down can lead to emotional or even physical debilitation. Also, there are less than ideal marriages in which the commitment has degraded into abuse were self-lessness becomes selfishness. If that time comes, then by all means re-evaluate your marriage. Life is too short, so you must move on. Save it if you can, and try your best. If the partner is willing for the marriage to continue, then it can and will be saved. If not, then there is no shame in honoring your commitment to yourself. Remember, commitment to partner first and then yourself. If commitment can no longer be reciprocated, then the second commitment must come into play.

Answer 4

It depends on if you still "feel" the love. Love is such a rare occurrence that most people don't appreciate. True love never dies. It stays the course.

Reminds me of that song where the lyrics sing, "I will go down with this ship. I won't put my hands up and surrender. There'll be no white flag above my door. I'm in love and always will be."

You must go to the ends of the earth and beyond. just when you think you've reached the end, go further, push harder. Not only will you eclipse 100% effort, but you will also break through a new spiritual existence you never knew was attainable.

Your integrity and resolve is being tested. Too many people walk out for silly reasons. Too many people think love is fleeting and over. Love is eternal. Through good and bad it is worth fighting for until the bitter end.

If the bitter end comes, you will be crushed, deflated, and exhausted. Yet, when you resurface, your perception of life will have grown immensely. You will find what you never thought you had deep inside yourself.

And you will be better.

Answer 5

There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/XufwJ

Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:

- Start by understanding and being informed.

You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.

The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.

Answer 6

Well it depends on you reason for saving the marriage. Are you trying to save it because you love your spouse, or because of kids or just because you don't want to be lonely.
It also depends on why you want to leave them! Did they cheat, are they beating you, Do they have a problem you can't face with them (alcoholism, drugs etc.).
If you want to save the marriage because you still love them then you should go to the end of the earth for them. If it is because you have kids well that is a tough one and I won't give you any definitive advice on that one. you have to decide what is in your heart on that one. If they have some sort of alcohol problem or drug problem that is in the way then maybe you should at least try to help them out (if you really love the person it would only be right. If they hit you or are really aggressive like that you should leave their *** they will never change.
maybe you could update your question and give more details as to the reason.

Answer 7

As long as there is no cheating, you can separate, but you can't divorce. Depending on how serious the issues are, you may or may not want to separate (if he's abusive, definitely run for your life and take your kids with you), but you made a vow before God and people to stay for life, so you need to keep it. If you leave a man for someone else, you'll probably fall for the same type and be miserable again anyway. Work it out with this one if possible. Divorce is almost never a good option, with the exception of a spouse who is unfaithful or abusive.

Answer 8

Depends on if it is worth it.
If the marriage has been through rough patches but both of you are willing to save it, marriage counseling would be your best bet. This way, a professional can guide the two of you to talk out ongoing issues, compromise on things, and work out the problems in a civilized way.
However, if your spouse has continuously cheated on you over and over or has hurt you in more the one way repeatedly, maybe it's time to let go and move on.

Answer 9

Not so far as you lose your self respect and pride. Marriage is a 50-50 relationship. You have to have both people working on the relationship or it will not work. One person can not make a marriage work.

Answer 10

Depends what has happened if its just a case of not getting on anymore and you have tried just move on. If as my ex did he or she has cheated on you then its hard but don't give them the satisfaction of trying to make it work. My ex thought he was going to go on living his double life and was very surprised when I just went ahead and started divorce proceedings. Its difficult and it is like a bereavement but in the end you come out of it a better person it took me three years to get over it totally but now i am enjoying life and glad he left.

Whatever has prompted your question I hope it was not because of violence or anything like that just remember you are a human being and deserve to be respected. If you feel you need to give it a chance then set yourself a goal give yourself a certain amount of time and if its still the same then make that decision you have a life out there don't sit back with false hopes and miss out on something good.