a question.. read it dont judge please~!?

Question

Everyone keeps telling me marriage isnt easy and that me and my fiance wont make it but i think we will.. i just wanted others advice.
We tell eachother everything.. literally
We talk everyday
we "live" together (we stay at eachothers parents houses 5 months so far in a row)
we use the restroom together, take showers togehter
we have the same "goals" and wants in life.
we are like the same person
we argue but always reslove it
only thing is.. and i dont think it matters is we are 18

We really do love eachother and respect eachother. we have been dating for a while and his family thinks it is the BEST thing ever.. and the living together, yah no one is ever home at either of my parents houses and it really is like it is our house.
another detail. we are mature for our ages.. im not just saying that..we have been through alot together, we share some bills together, we discuss all financial desicions wi

Im engaged it isnt changing so dont try to make it. i know that you have bills to pay im not an idiot ok. i have been told about a million times that im 18 going on 30. i understand its going to be hard and that there are certian things that are not going to work out as planned but this guy is my word i care for him more that anything i would die for this man.

READ::: WEDDING DATE OCTOBER 16 2010 3 years from now~~ we are nto RUSHING gosh some people are really dumb

Answer 1

It sounds as though your in a very loving and mature relationship for being 18 and no one truly knows if you will make it. Odds are against you, but that does not mean the two of you will not make it. It is 100% up to the two of you to make it work. I will however from experience tell you be cautious, you will both grow up and mature together but in turn you may not only grow up but grow apart, do not become complacent and content and forget why you feel this very way, do not forget to talk about everything and do not forget you are best friends, then lovers. If you can keep things in perspective you will have a fighting chance, if you don't you will not beat the odds but will join them. Good luck to you and I hope you have found that true love and happiness many search for all their lives.

Answer 2

I met my husband 2 weeks after I graduated from high school. We moved in together a few months later. That was 15 years ago. We did eventually get married, about 6 years into the relationship. We had the wedding and I went home and did laundry :). We had been living together for so long it really didnt change anything. However, it has not been easy. Growing up together is hard. You will just both need to have the resolve to stay together and not give up, especially over petty things. It doesnt have anything to do with how alike you are or whether or not you pee together. My husband and I are different people, we like different things but we are able to work through our issues, we talk about things. We dont let anything simmer. If we have a big fight then we come back to the subject later when we are calm and discuss it. We also didnt have children until about 9 years after we moved in together. This gave us a chance to grow up and learn to live with each other. It's not impossible! My husband and I will grow old together. We are connected for life and I think that is partly because we grew into adults together.

Answer 3

from what you say, it sounds like you've got the glue to make it last. Dont' let anyone else plant doubts in your mind, only you know what your bond is really about! I am especially happy to hear you talk about how open your communication is. This is key. It's not important to never disagree or never have a problem - everyone is different, everyone has conflicts - the important thing is that you can talk, deal with them maturely. It's more important that you have something stronger pulling you back together again, than the things which pull you apart, because there will always be things pulling you apart.

But, why does everyone tell you that it's going to fail? Are they saying that just because you are young? Or do they see something in your specific relationship? If EVERYONE disapproves, maybe there's something worth considering. But the reason I doubt this in your situation is that it sounds like nobody disapproves of him specifically, it's more just that they all think you are too young for a step as big as marriage. But, you are 18. You are an adult. You are young, sure, but not necessarily too young to know what you are doing. I mean, marriage is a big scary step no matter how old you are, and you can't plan exactly what the right age is for it to happen. It happens when it happens. If you found your true soulmate sooner than most, well, why should you wait if you know it is right?

Answer 4

If you two are mature enough then do what you want to do however you should be able to financially do it in your own as well. You two living with your parents show that you are not ready for the next step no matter if they are hardly there or not. Young love is always fun and you always do things together however time will pass and things will be different. You are so young and naive about this that you really do not know what you are getting into. You or your boyfriend might regret getting married so young and later on in life feel as though you missed out on life by meeting other people or partying with your friends and meeting being with different people. If you both can do it on your own then do it but you need to question yourself on why you are asking this question. I think you are second guessing yourself. Good luck.

Answer 5

Oh yes, it can be done. My in-laws got married when she was 16 and he was 21. They were among the happiest married couples I've ever met. (He died a few years ago.) They had a few (about 5) years of very, very rough patches in the beginning but they loved each other dearly and believed strongly that divorce is not an option.

No one but you can decide whether you're ready. My husband and I were older but we got married less than a year after meeting. We always laugh that if we hadn't gotten married so soon we never would've made it to a year and a half. And it's very true. The vow we made to each other and to God kept us going for several years when we undoubtedly would have separated if we were only dating or living together. We have been married for over 12 years now, and each year just gets better.

Listen to your head and your heart. But if you make this commitment, make sure that you are making it wholeheartedly together. Because no matter how in love you are, I can almost guarantee that at some point you're in for one h*ll of a bumpy ride before things smooth out!

Best wishes to you, in whatever you decide.

Answer 6

It sounds like it could be a POTENTIALLY good relationship. If you are living in your parents houses, then you are both still dependent. If you are both dependent personalities, this will not bode well for the future. You say you tell each other everything -- but do you two discuss the important things: how will you support yourselves, do you both have jobs, will one's job be more important than the other's, do you want to live with your parents for the rest of your lives (this is hardly mature). Resolving problems is one thing, resolving problems when the stresses of finances, family, children, failures present themselves is another thing altogether. If you both are only 18, I wonder if you have completed college -- without it you will have a tough time finding a good job. If you both have completed school, how about employment. How do you plan to pay the bills: paying for car insurance, or kicking in for some of the utilities is one thing, paying a mortgage and needing to fall on a financial buffer when one of you loses a job is another thing. I would first think about getting jobs, renting a place of your own before getting married to see if you can handle the stresses of life without placing the bulk of the financial burden on your parents.

Answer 7

My dear, if you are in love and you truly believe that you will be together for the rest of your lives then what's the rush to get married? I would agree that most marriages that happen at a young age don't last and however mature you think you are, 18 years old has not even had a serious dose of reality. I think that you maintain your relationship the way that it is and just hold off on the marriage thing for right now. If the both of you are sure then a piece of paper won't make or break you. Wait it out....because people and situations change. Your too young to want to get into such a serious commitment.

Answer 8

Well, you are both adults, so if you want to get married for the right reasons, then do it.

My personal experience is that people go through pretty big changes between 18 and 25, and that is obviously the risk you two take. If you anticipate your future together to take place in an environment similar to the one you are in now, the changes you and your fiance will go through may be relatively small. I know for me, I could not have done it. From 18 to 25 I moved from home and graduated from college, lived in Chicago for a summer, lived on the road for a year and moved to New York City for a year. My changing environment exposed me to many different aspects of life, more so than if I had stayed home in my relatively small town. Because of that, I was a very different person at 25 than I was at 18, and subsequently attracted to very different women. Had I met my wife at 18, I would not have been the least bit interested in her. As it is, we have been happily married for 7 years now.

But I know people who never left their hometown, took a job right out of high school, and essentially became a grown-up version of their 18 year-old self. They would be more likely to be attracted to the same type of person at 25 as they were at 18.

So, I would say that if you two anticipate minimal influence from your environment, then it is more likely that you will remain compatible for each other in the future and it could work out. Even if you two experience a changing environment together, it might still work out. But if one of you is going to be experiencing a different environment from the other, you probably will become less compatible as time goes by.

Answer 9

I got married the week I turned 21 and I'm so happy. Expect for things to be hard because when you get married young you're are poor and money is the number one marriage clincher, I don't care what anyone says. It's hard to live in near poverty! hard! haha but you guys can do it. The answer is in your heart. Might I give you some hard-learned advice and wait until you both have steady jobs and your own place for at least a few months before you get married ok? The secret to getting through the first year! Best wishes. Marriage isn't hard but it takes work.

Answer 10

Most people believe that young couples will never last because they don't think that they've experienced enough together or gone through a really rough time and pulled through it. Maybe you two just found each other sooner than most so they think it won't last. But that is so not true. Every situation is different. Every couple is different. It seems to me that everything is perfect with you two, so what gives anyone a reason to say it won't work? My opinion is not to listen to the negative comments, sometimes people give advice(most of the time when it's not asked for) because they think they are doing you a favor, but no one says you have to take it. So if you two feel that your relationship will make it, that's all that matters. If you feel you're soulmates, why deprive your heart of what it wants?