Was it right for her to do this?

Question

My mom promised me the next child support check from my dad because I am the child, and he is paying to support me. Hes in prison, so they arent much at all. Sometimes 3 dollars, sometimes 25. You never know. So today I checked the mail, and there was one in it. So like she said I could open it, and then cash it. And to my surprise it was 103 dollars. So I called my mom to let her know because she told me to. Then she said since she didnt expect it to be that big, she wanted it, or atleast 75 dollars of it.


Do you think thats right?


I dont think it is since we made a deal. Every other month I get a check, then the next month she gets it and so on. This was my month.

So I think its kind of rude for her to do that.


And its not because she needs the money to pay bills or go christmas shopping or whatever excuse you will come up with.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I think it was wrong because a deal is a deal. There has been lots of times I have made deals with my son and even if they didnt turn in my favor I honored them because I want to show him that is what is supposed to be done. You did say she didnt need it for bills or anything, That is the only time that the house takes priority, if a bill needs to be paid. Other than that, I stand by what I said.
I would talk it out with your mom. Maybe she wants you to save some of it for a rainy day. Tell her you'll put half in savings and get to spend the other half on something you need.

Answer 2

Toguh call. Obviously you guys made a deal, so I think its always wrong to squelch on a deal. I think althoguh I might be upset with her because she wants the check because it was more money than she thought, you are in a position most kids aren't because your mom at least gives you the child support check sometimes. So in light of this little tidbit of info, I would hand her 51.50, which is exactly half of it, and then I would tell her that in this case you both come out ahead because you BOTH got double what you usually expect from a decent check of a mere 25.00. She shouldn't mind too much, and you both get a little something. Blessings.....

Answer 3

I had some time to think about your question, so I edited my answer. Here it is:

It's not about the money at all.
It's about you. You don't want your own mother to be a liar. And at $75, a pretty cheap liar too.

Perhaps you should cash the check, and leave the money with a note to that effect:

Dear mom, for me it's not about the money. It's the fact that you promised something and the price of your promise - the price of your word - seems to be $75. The reason I was so upset and have refused to give you the money is that I don't want my mother's word to be worth $75.


Reckon that would drive home the message?

Answer 4

I agree with Anon. The every other month thing doesn't seem to be the right way, since the checks are always different.
I think spliting it every month, half and half, will make every one happy.
I don't think it is right for your Mom to want your months check just because its more than usual, but I also see her point. I grew up with divorced parents and never once saw a child support check, it was suppose to go towards food and bills. So you are lucky.

Answer 5

Well when i read it first, and saw you saying that because you are the child...blah blah blah, because i zoned out abit i wondered why you thought that you deserved it when your mum pays all the bills and everything else for you. then i read about your agreement, and i agree, you sould be getting it, nomatter how much money there was or wasnt, since you both have a previous agreement, how long has this been happening for (your month, her month thing i mean.) if she does tak this month, then you sould get the next two!. i think that you are going to have to be gracious about this and let her have this months, on the agreement that you get the next two, then you go back to the origonal agree ment, and no matter how much money there is when it is your month, you get it.

Answer 6

Well, the money is to be used to support you. As a parent, I never would have made that deal. She is paying for your expenses, and the child support money is to be used to defray that cost. Since she made that deal with you, her actions were a little unfair, but she may really need the money to pay the bills. Try to talk with her and understand her perspective. For all you know, she may be struggling to keep food on the table.

That being said, my mother rarely received child support from my bio dad. She remarried, and she and my new dad made plently of money. They figured that they could more than afford to support me, and my stepdad considered me to be his child (he had no other children). My parents saved whatever money they were able to get from my father and used it to help pay for college. Again, we had more than enough money to pay for food, clothing, the mortgage, utility bills, and my activities. Before my mom remarried, she "got" all of the child support money, as finances were tight. The purpose of child support is to pay for things like food, clothing, and housing. Since your mom is paying for those things, there is nothing legally or morally wrong with her "keeping" the child support. It's not spending money for you.

Answer 7

tell her you were kidding and it was $10.00...don't let her take your money. My husband's mom was like that when he was young. She took all his dad's checks for herself.. He didn't see a dime of it and would go w/out lunch and had to live w/ his grandparents because his mom didn't have a home. So, just take it or hurry up and go get something...

Answer 8

I think you should tell her "a deal's a deal". If the cheque when it's her month is bigger than $25, is she going to give you the rest?

Perhaps if it changes so erratically, you should change the deal to split it 50-50 every month instead.

Answer 9

honestly you are the child but the child support is to keep a roof over your head food in your belly and clothes on your back.. im 18 my mom never once let me have any of the child support check.. it was strictly for bills!

Answer 10

I think until you get a job and start working to earn checks and pay the bills, its fair.

The money is for HER to support YOU. Not for YOU to take and get what you want with it. No matter how much your mom makes, your dad needs to be paying to feed and clothe and house you as well, and thats how he does it. By giving your MOM money.