Just been round at a married friends - they had a mini tiff in the kitchen and he walked out and called her a sl*t!! In front of me!
I'm appalled, but she thought it was ok and shrugged it off and then they were fine with each other later in the evening.
Am I a bit behind the times - is this ok? I'd wallop my fella if he did this?!!!!!!!
2007-11-13 09:41:27 · 32 answers · asked by Clare 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nandina - Fantastic response, I like it! Always best to gain the upper hand in a dignified manner!
2007-11-13 09:59:31 · update #1
NO. Gods, how much do you have to disrespect your partner to call them something like that in anger? Because if it comes to your mind to say something like that in anger, it means that it's in your mind, period.
Let alone doing it in front of someone else.
My ex-boyfriend once teasingly called me "sh*t for brains" in front of some people. I looked at him, asked, "Could you come here for a minute?" and walked to a private area to tell him "Don't you EVER call me a name like that. I'm just as smart as you are, and you know it. And don't ever denigrate me in front of others." Never happened again.
2007-11-13 09:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi hun, It all depends on your outlook on relationships and how you should treat one another.
When my husband and I argue we do call each other names, but we don't go too far, as once you step over that name calling barrier things become even worse!
It is good to just let off some steam, we will call each other things but we don't mean it, as we are just letting the stresses of the day/week come out in an arguement.
One thing we always make sure we do, is when we go to bed we don't go with the arguement between us, sometimes we may not want to but one of us will always kiss the other goodnight, even that kiss is not welcomed, it is a way of saying sorry or I love you without actually saying it out loud and most of the time that small kiss will actually lighten the atmosphere so we forget what we were arguing about in the first place and go back to being happy again.
So yes, in most cases this is the norm!
2007-11-13 09:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by katyelizabeth1983 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, I can't think of one time that my husband has told me to shut up and has certainly never called me a name. Neither in front of Elyse or by ourselves. I'm not sure we would still be married if that was the norm... My reaction would be the same in either situation as it would be quite unexpected and out of character. This doesn't mean that we don't have arguments though, we just know how to 'fight fair' and any sort of disagreement never goes beyond a minute or so in front of the kid. I think it's fine for kids to see that their parents sometimes disagree but if it's not quieted down or solved very quickly we get back to it later when we are alone.
2016-05-23 01:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never argue, I say what's upsetting me but never shout or create a scene. When I do get agitated, I choose my words, because when I say something I mean it. If I call someone a name, it's because that's how I see them...end of...if I call someone a liar...that's what they are in my eyes. I don't take back my words.
The only sorry, I need to say after an 'argument' is for having the argument, not the content.
If my husband called me a name like your friends husband called her, I'd walk out. I wouldn't stay with him. Divorce papers would follow. How can a woman stay with a man that disrespects her in that way.....not me honey, I'm out the door.
2007-11-13 18:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find that term very degrading also but if you just let people and couples do their own things and not be a busy body so to speak then you will be better off. My wife and I don't argue and would not call each other names. But that is us and our relationship and our business alone. Others may do things differently. I do agree though that the fellow needs a good walloping and to learn to respect his wife. Maybe she has a few choice words for him. To each their own I reckon. (smile)
2007-11-13 10:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, its never okay to call ANYONE names. Especially for adults, come on, we can communicate without the hurtful words! What only ends up happening is that after wards it might be forgotten what the fight was about but the hurtful name calling will be remembered.
The fact that he did that in front of you, shows that he has NO RESPECT for her or you. Can you imagine the stuff that goes one when no one is around? Sucks for her.
2007-11-13 09:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by 70sVirgo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depends largely on the couple if they can shrug it off.
I don't with my current partner but my previous partner was more laid back and we'd call each other all sorts (in private) and make up afterwards. The best part.
2007-11-13 09:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by CTRL Freak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have some couples that do this, but then again everyones relationship is different. Me and my fiance call each other names too when we argue but we dont take it that far to where we are cursing each other out and especially not in front of company, thats very dis respectful.
2007-11-13 09:46:43 · answer #8 · answered by Ms.Lincy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This kind of name calling is totally unacceptable & shows a complete lack of respect.
You're not behind the times - your reaction is the right one!
2007-11-13 11:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by Nelly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I'v never used such a nasty word but I'v called her a stroppy cow or made a comment relating to her hair colour and intelligence.
Infact, we use nastier words to describe eachother when we'r just playing about!
2007-11-13 09:50:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋