men....when your girlfriend/wife/partner gains weight does it change your sex drive?

Question

i was just wonering ya'lls thoughts on this. i have gained over 50 pounds since i was married and i noticed my hubby's sex drive keeps getting less and less as i gain more.

is this true for all men or just my hubby?

ps... he hasn't gained but 5 pounds.

and i am working on losing a few ;)

is there a need to criticize here? i went from hs to marriage. i was more active in hs. now i don't do as much as i did in hs. the weight gain was over a period of 8 months. it gradually kept adding on and before i knew it i was a size 18.

Answer 1

I certainly cannot answer from a man's point of view but I can tell you that my husband was much less attracted to me when I gained weight. I gained about 50 pounds as well and he, being a very honest (painfully) man, told me that it was unattractive and that he also worried about my health.

When there is genuine love there, a man will fear for his wife's health AS WELL AS feel less attracted sexually.

I have also found that my husband's sex drive improves when I dress nicely and am conscious of how clothes flatter my figure and not just throw any old thing on.

I have been able to lose weight recently, not much but, I also noticed a difference there.

Don't force yourself to lose weight for him. If you are a stress eater, things will only get worse. Just think about how you feel about yourself, decide what you want to do about it - and when - and, as hard as it can be - talk to your husband about how you feel.

Just make sure that you are completely logical and unemotional when you talk about it because that's just how men work ;)

I hope I helped.

Answer 2

Well how would you feel if the 'boot was on the other foot'. What if your hubby had gained HEAPS of weight (50 pounds is quite a bit for a female), would you still find him sexy and would you want to have sex with an overweight 'bulbous' looking male? I think NOT!
I hope that answers your question.

But yes, I'd say most men wouldn't be too happy if their wife/partner/girlfriend put on that much weight. A small amount of weight is acceptable but 50 POUNDS, did you eat a whole cow!

Answer 3

It shouldn't. When you truly love someone you bypass the physical looks. Unless a guy Marys a girl because she is hot which as you can imagine has noting to d with Love. Sadly enough men tend to react that way they have this thoughts that their wives will look the same at 50 as she did when they first met when they were 20. These guys need to wake up and realize that they usually don't look too hot either with time. Sexual attraction in a couple should be nothing else but an extension of the love they have for one another. If there is no love then sex is only that ... sex, and physical appearance plays a big part. Sad!

Answer 4

My hubby looks weird skinny. He's not fat but I love that he has a little extra weight. I think he looks great. Plus he makes a perfect snuggle partner watching late night movies.
I know if I can feel that way about my husbands extra weight, it's not impossible to think a guy can. I've stayed a size 0-1 our entire marriage (5 years). But I can look like I stepped out of a dump truck and my hubby would still think I'm beautiful. Just remember all marriage suffers ups and downs. Especially your sex life.
Just talk to him about it. I'm sure he wants a change as much as you. So open the doors of communication, and maybe you can start having fun in the sack.

Answer 5

Weight gain and a decrees in your sex drive are related but in your head. Obviously you don't feel as sexy. Now, they both could be symptoms of something greater going on. Visit your family doctor for a regular check up.

Answer 6

I'd be willing to bet it has a little to do with the weight gain....

BUT - it probably has a great deal MORE to do with YOUR self image !! Has your self-esteem gone down hill with the added pounds? If so, your own lack of confidence / sexiness can be a turn off for your man.

I know small and big gals that are sexy because of the way they handle / carry themselves. I know fat and skinny gals that just oooozzzzze an "I'm not sexy vibe" - and it turns men away.

Be confident in your sexuality and he'll likely come around (in more ways than one) !! Think about Queen Latifa or 'Lil Kim in the Lady Marmalade video. 'Lil Kim is a big ol' gal, but she is just DAMN sexy in the video because she carries herself that way and "thinks" of herself as a sexual creature.

You should do the same and it will likely solve a lot of the problems. Do this and stay focused on shedding a few of the pounds - it'll do wonders for your sex life.

Answer 7

i have to say i am also gained some weight the past year or so.. we have had soo much change and stress this past year. And i haven't really handled it well... but that has not changed out sex life. We have always had a really good sex life, we work at it too. we both want to make sure that even with whatever else is going on in life, that we make time for our self.
Its not easy sometimes, but its something that you have to have to keep the spark alive. We have two kids, have been married for five year, he recently joined the army. So i mean we have ALOT of stuff going on.. but just make sure you BOTH make your sex life a PRIORITY!!

Answer 8

I'm assuming it depends on the man.

I've got less interest in my wife sexually because of her weight gain. I try and help her when she expresses an interest in losing weight, but she just has problems commiting to a consistent workout plan.

In our case the real culprit is the television. When I last tracked it, she was watching around 24 hours a week of television.

I find it tough because me and the kids are constantly on the go around the house and the yard, but she's the one constant on the couch watching reality TV.

I've never been into stick people, I like an truly average sized woman. Its just tough to try and support her, and seeing her making all the wrong decisions.

Answer 9

Yes it does. Now a few pounds no..but if a few pounds is like 20-30 it can. Men are simple visual creatures. Doesn't make things fair esp since we get larger too and kids/pregnancies..
For many men the answer is yes, it is true for most men. Nothing in human relationships is always...

Answer 10

that really depend on the man, some guys actually gain weight with their spouse which effect his sex drive as well. Some men don't find chubby women sexy enough to desire them. And there are some find them very sexy with a few pounds here and there on a woman. Now for me, the actress Kirstie Alley who plac Rebecca from Cheers. When she was slim I think she was sexy and when she gain weight, I still find her sexy as heck!! dang, now you got me thinking about her again.....sweet!!!
If your addition weight is around your tummy, hips, and thighs. I think you need to do some running out side...wink...