coming to terms with death and stuff?

Question

after trying to write this essay about him, i can't stop thinking about him. can i ever stop thinking about him? probably not.

in 2006 my best friend overdosed. he had an extremely hard time, at home and at school, i dont blame him for what he did. a little over a month later, we left zimbabwe. my new friends know about him, but they dont really know what to say, or how hard it is.

i havent really come to terms with his death yet. and i was wondering how long it normally takes, or how long it took you, if someone close to you has passed away?

Answer 1

The first year is the very hardest, because there is the 1st birthday, Christmas, day of summer, etc. without him, and these are very hard. The pain gets duller with time, and makes room for the happy memories.

I think you are having an especially hard time because you are in a different place, thus feeling a disconnect in general. Additionally, you don't have the people with whom you can share grief, recovery and memories.

You say you are trying to write an essay about him, so that is making your sadness more acute at the moment. But try to go through with it, I think it can ultimately help you progress a bit by memorializing him.

Answer 2

you poor thing i know just how you feel!

I always was a Daddy's girl. He tucked me in every night and killed the spiders and i always kissed him goodnight and goodbye on the mouth. Then one day my phone rang and it was my mother onm the other line. She told me my dad had Terminal Lung Cancer and was going to die. She told me the doctors gave him 1 month to live. My dad died 3 months to the day later. I was 20 years old and had plenty of friends and family but felt so alone. Next month 12-9-07 will be 4 years. It never gets better. Some nights I just cry and cry. I am mad i want my daddy back and I don't care how selfish that sounds. It seems like forever since my dad has died but at the same time the pain feels like it was yesterday. It doesn't get any better no matter how hard you try i think you just forget about it more and more. I had warning and you had none that must have been horrible for you. I have 2 best friends and one night we were all sitting around talking and we said that if the 2 of them were hanging off a cliff who would i choose to save i told them neither i would let go and jump off too because a life without them wouldn't be worth living. That's how i feel now about my dad i just want to die so i can be with him but i know he wouldn't want me to so i go on and i live and i try to enjoy life as i can and some day i will see him agian and so will you! God Bless.

Answer 3

I am very sorry. That sort of thing can vary in length. It depends on the you as a person. Sometimes, people can get over deaths pretty quickly and then have a relapse of emotion like years later. Other times it can take ages to get over the it but that is pretty much the end of all the heavy grieving. Just remember that he is in a better place and how good of a person he was. He is watching over you and I am sure he wants you to be happy.

Best of luck.

Answer 4

You never get over someone close to you passing away, but time makes it better. My mom died 7 years ago when I was 17, I had a really bad time getting over it. I quit school and everything, I had to go to a mental institution for teenagers but after around 6 months it started getting a lot better. I realized she was in a better place. Now 7 years later I still miss her and think about her and want her around during hard times but life goes on, like I said she is happier now and watching over me to keep me safe. So what I am trying to say is you will always think about them and miss them but time will heal the really bad feelings.

Answer 5

My truest bluest friend past away like 3 years ago and I haven't stopped thinking or dreaming of him. He was found in a river after being missing for several days. i can honestly say i haven't been the same since. Everyone in different. I know i need to let him go but I don't want to, I love him.

Answer 6

It's different for everybody. Sometimes people feel sad for only a couple of weeks. Others feel sad for years.

My Great Aunt Marie Halick died in 2003 and I can safely say I will never get over her death. She meant so much to me and the world

Answer 7

It varies. After about a year or so I was able to talk about it without getting choked up. You can miss him for the rest of your life but you have to move on and make every day count. BEst of wishes I know it's hard.

Answer 8

I'm sorry for your loss. You're right, it is hard. Maybe you should get grief-counseling. It will help you come to terms with his death. I understand you miss him, but just because he died doesn't mean you stop living. Find a special place in your heart to put him, and you will know that he will always be with you.

Answer 9

i still cant get over my grandmother who died 5/30/06. when she was diagnosed w/ caner in '04 i spent house everyday before and after school spending as much time as i oculd with her.

i recently made up a new song for my band about death about what i want to be done when i die....

like i want to be buried in camo pants and a redsox shirt w/ a patriots jersey over it and buried in my fav place on a sunny day and no one can wear black - just light happy colors

Answer 10

I don't know if you do, it's like a little bit of you dies with them, there's something missing from you. It does get easier with time though, and you have the good times you had together to remember and make you smile.