I feel like Ive been hit on the head with a rock!?

Question

Long story short. Ive kept in touch with a really cool guy I met in college. We became friends. I always had a small crush on him but always respected his life. I've seen him through his marriage, first and second child. I thought that things were going great in his marriage. I just got off the phone with him and out of the blue he says. We are soul mates. He says that we should have been married years ago. Hes funny, creative, and boy is he handsome! He just threw me. Why would he plants these seeds? He wants to meet. but I cant for fear of what i know will happen. Sounds lame I know!! Im still reeling. Once again why would he plant those seeds?????
Whats your opinion?

Thank you all. I am not touching this one. That just what I need was a reality check. I feel better now.

Answer 1

Be careful, he could be trying to rebound and then again, you never know. He's not planting anything, he just put a full grown tree in your front yard, do you want it there or not? Seriously, if you feel what you feel for him, i certainly wouldn't let him stray too far. However, you must stay focused in this situation because you don't want to be his shoulder to cry on either. Play it cool, and don't allow yourself to give in to his handsomeness:):)
Don't panic because he's obviously been waiting for the opportunity to hook up with you, so he's not going any place (except maybe back to his wife) and I'm only saying that to keep you on your toes:):) I don't see the harm in going out with him, but go some place social where there's a lot of people and that way you won't get caught up too easily. Whatever you do, don't start seeing him everyday or even talking to him everyday. Continue doing what you've been doing. Ok, ok I understand. You can talk to him everyday, but only if he calls you and even when he does, don't stay on the phone longer that 10mins just long enough so he knows that you're not playing games and you are intrested, but you want to take it slow. Say all that's important and relevant and get off the phone:):)
Most importantly, if you can stand it. You need to ask him questions about his marriage and if he thinks he should try and save it, if he think he may want to go back to his wife and all that. Try and get him to be straight up with you because he may not be all that forth coming with his true feelings because he doesn't want to run you away.
Most importantly, don't get involved until you see the signed papers either. Make him prove how much he's really been wanting you. Oh, and NO SEX. Show him that you wouldn't dare do to another woman what you wouldn't want done to you. He may just respect you even more for that.
Take it slow and easy... Good Luck

Answer 2

Well, you've been "friends", meaning that you stay in touch through the phone, emails, whatever. You are NOT married to him and therefore, you are not privy to what he's like on a daily basis.

He sounds like he's having problems with his marriage. While you admit to having a crush on him...(third grade, I know, but SHE said it.) it's not cool to blurt out the soulmate thing on the phone to someone like you.

He should be focusing on his marriage, if you were a REAL friend, you should tell him that although it would be tempting to be flattered by his remark, it would be selfish to take it any further, especially since he IS married, steer him toward making a choice to stay married or not, but never leave YOURSELF as his second choice or fallback position.

I definitely would not want to be sloppy seconds or the other woman, you shouldn't either. He's confused right now, don't take advantage of it.

Answer 3

You should move on now, as man who has been thru a bad marriage i can tell you, you are the woman to fall back on, not the woman he really wants, he has been hurt and is just looking for someone to help take the pain away for now, so dont do that to yourself or him, he doesnt need another woman right now he needs time to think of his life and you stepping in will only hurt both of you. sorry i am sure thats not the answer you were looking for but its the truth that you deserve ..dg

Answer 4

If he thought you both were soul mates why would he have waited all this time to tell you. Because he is having some issues and want to forget about them with you. He is gonna be a problem for you stay away.

Answer 5

I fully agree with the third answerer up there - No serious bloke says 'soul mates' what a crock. My wife would cringe at the corniness if I told her that - then laugh her head off!!

Answer 6

Homewrecker! You've obviously given him reason to think you'd be cool with being "the other woman"..... Back away from the married man - you should have done this a long time ago.

Answer 7

Stay away. Stay away. Stay away.

He is having some marriage problem and looking for you to fill it.

STAY AWAY. Tell him to focus on his wife.

Oh wait - he's handsome you say? Well that changes everything.

Give me a break.

Answer 8

He planted those seeds so he can plant other seeds as well. He is not worth it. He is a terrible husband and if you were to get caught up in him he will eventually do the same to you.

Answer 9

Sounds like he wants to get inside your pants. send him packing, he commited himself to another person and if he feels that was a mistake then he has to solve that one first. Tell him to sort out his life first then come back when he's done that. Bet you won't see him for dust.

Answer 10

If I were his wife....I would pissed to no end with the both of you.....If you were meant to be together...then you would have been together before he got married to another woman....You would be doing the right thing by ceasing contact with him...He is a married man....