what is better and healthier for a child?

Question

my daughter is 3 months old...

should i stay with her dad so she grows up with both parents even thou i think of and want to be with another man and am miserable in my relationship?


or will she be a better off child with me being a happy person even thou i'm not with her dad?

Answer 1

Life is too short to live it in misery. A very dear friend of mine asked me one day if I realized I was teaching my kids that a miserable relationship is normal by staying with my husband. My oldest was 7 when I left him. She is 18 now and has confided in me that all she remembers was the fighting and thinks that our divorce was the best thing that ever happened. My kids still have both parents, they just don't live together and everyone is happier because of it.

Answer 2

You left a lot of gaps. How long have you wanted to be with this other man, are you sure it's not just hormones or a desire for something more exciting? No matter who you are with, life will become the same old thing day after day. If this is it, you might want to get some lingerie and do a lap dance for him. The bottom line is you have to live with your decision for the rest of your life. Perhaps you can make a list of positive and negative about how each part of you is feeling, mind, body, spirit, emotion. Perhaps that will clear it up for you. I believe you have the true answer deep in your heart, and I wonder why you are asking strangers to give you your answer for something so serious. Perhaps you are not sure enough to make such a tremendous change. Perhaps counciling?

Answer 3

My mom was single, my sisters and I grew up just fine. I just think that if you and the father don't have a good relationship with each other, don't bother staying together. It would be better for him to be absent from her life then to have her witness you two fighting, etc. Don't stay with him just for her sake. That's worse. If the relationship isn't working, leave. But pick out your next spouse carefully. Don't bring various men in and out her life. That's no good either.

Answer 4

Your happiness doesn't matter anymore. Your life should be about the child's happiness.

Whatever you do, make your choices in the best interest of the child. Nobdy out here wants to be robber at gunpoint by your child in 18 years.

Good luck.

Answer 5

If you don't think that being married to your child's father will be long term, then don't get married. This marriage will be hell for you and the child's. It is best to start fresh in a relationship which you can stay in.

Answer 6

Children are super sensitive when it comes to emotions and feelings and if you stay where you are and are unhappy but "faking" it she will pick up on these feelings and it could lead to emotional problems for her, plus she will pick up on the tension between you and her father. Best to split now and have her grow up in a healthy, happy environment and feel safe and secure in your love for her and life! Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

I think the best thing you can do is to try every single thing you can, counseling, etc. to make it work for you...and then if you still can't make it work, then divorce. At least you can say you tried..

And I can tell you first hand: Until you get over the other guy, no other relationship will work. SO deal with that first..

Answer 8

Give or take a year ago, you let a man impregnate you and now you are not happy. What makes you think you will be happy a year from now with someone else. The problem in this picture is you. I feel sorry for your daughter.

Answer 9

I think children deserve to grow up in a happy healthy home...even if that means being with one happy parent as opposed to being with both parents that are miserable...

Answer 10

What's healthier for your child is that you are healthy and happy.
To many people stay together for the child's sake and all the child sees and feels is the unhappiness between the parents. Which isn't healthy for anyone. Go with your heart.