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I am in the process in getting married.I am about to start school in Nursing and my Husband to Be wants to be a rapper. He has been on the grind for a while now, should I let him know beforewe get married that he needsto have a fall back plan:? He does have a 9-5 job, but thats his DREAM! Should I tell him to go back to school? I dont want him to think I dont believe in him because he is REALLYYYY good. Let me knoww!

2007-11-13 07:19:25 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

26 answers

Never hold a man from his dreams.

Mean while keep your savings separate.

2007-11-13 07:24:14 · answer #1 · answered by Brightside 3 · 2 0

There are some men who are real dreamers and they have a very unique soul. They are usually not the kind of men who will ever be content to work a 9 to 5 job or live in a cubicle. :) My husband is like that. You need to only marry him if you can support him and be ok with who he is RIGHT NOW. Yes, he may be willing to get a normal job but rest assured, it WILL destroy a piece of his soul if you don't believe in him or pressure him to drop his dream. Most men are realistic about their dreams and are willing to hold down at least a part time job in order to financially help the family. If he's not willing to at least do that, then he's not mature enough for marriage to be honest. My husband is an adventurer, indiana-jones type of man. He's most comfortable with his toes in the sand of some gorgeous beach - not in a stuffy corporate office. He realizes we DO need money to live, however, and so yes, right now, he has a normal 9 to 5 job. But he craves the adventure he had when he was in the military and is thinking of going back in. The thought of it scares the sh*t out of me to be real honest. The though of losing him is more than I could bear but I love him too much to MAKE him stay in a traditional job where a little piece of his soul will die and where he will never truly be happy. For his part, he weighs out any decisions with what is going to make me happy also. So we balance each other out in always thinking of one another first. I know that if he joins the military and god forbid,if something DID happen to him, at least I'd live the rest of my life knowing he died doing something he truly was passionate about and was happy doing.

I know that's heavy and sort of un-related to what you're weighing out but the philosophy is the same. You have to let him do what will fulfill his soul.

2007-11-13 15:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0 0

THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH HOW YOU ARE FEELING. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS CONTINUE TO SUPPORT HIM ,BUT ALSO BOTH OF YOU SIT DOWN TOGETHER AND DISCUSS THE POSSIBILITIES. FIRST , ASK HIM WHAT THE PLAN IS IF HE MAKES IT "BIG"? ( YOU OBVIOUSLY WON'T BE ABLE TO IRON OUT ALL THE DETAILS , BUT IT'S A GOOD STARTING POINT.) THEN ASK HIM WHAT WOULD BE HIS GAMEPLAN IF THINGS DID'T WORK OUT, WHAT ELSE WOULD HE WANT TO DO? THE GOOD THING IS, IS THAT HE STILL HAS A JOB. HE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS HE CAN'T JUST NOT WORK. BE SURE TO LET HIM KNOW YOU SUPPORT HIM NO MATTER WHAT, AND YOU JUST WANT THE BEST FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. HE'S A MAN , AND A MAN NATURALLY WANTS TO BE A PROVIDER, SO JUST RELAX AND TALK ABOUT IT. I'M SURE HE WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT.

2007-11-13 15:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by ASHLEY P 2 · 0 0

You can support him and encourage him to keep his eye on the ground and not drift up in the air with lofty dreams.

You need to sit down and have a one on one asap. One of the biggest heartaches of couples is unrealistic and unmet expectations.

The both of you lay out the plan for your lives. You goals, dreams, how to raise and discipline kids, sex, everything.

Discuss with love, how you both are planning to make it financially, etc. If rapping doesn't pay the bills, how will you pay it? There are many ways to do the rap thing as an extra and on the side. Then a big break may come, finanically.

But BOTH of you stick to an agreed plan, and NEVER not communicate. Don't leave things to chance or up in the air.

make it work!

2007-11-13 15:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0 1

You have to love him for who he is. Be prepared to marry a man who is a rapper and doesn't make any money. If he fails, be prepared for his heartbreak.

It's not a bad idea to sugest going back to school and having a real career so that the family is taken care of. But have this talk now.

Because if you don't feel you can support him financially or emotionally for his dreams..........then you shouldn't get married.

2007-11-13 15:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by jtbrick1208 3 · 0 0

Encourage him to follow his dream but tell him to be realistic. Tell him he has to get a degree so he has insurance in case his career never gets off the ground. My husband wants to be a wrestler but our financial situation will not allow it. We're both in school and when we recieve our degrees THEN he can pursue his dream. Right now, it's on hold. But believe in him, i'm sure he's a great artist but there's that possibility, you know.. You always have to have a back up. Support him but tell him to be reasonable. good luck with nursing school! that's where i am! i love it!

2007-11-13 15:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Isis 1 · 0 0

If he is a smart responsible man (which I am sure you want to marry someone like that), he will have a back up plan just in case the Rapper thing does not work out. Ask him, this is your future.

2007-11-13 15:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by sheilakel 3 · 2 0

You need to get it straight in your mind. Take away his dream and you take away his passion. If he has a job and pays his bills, he has a fall back plan in my opinion. Even if he does not get a break and make it big there is a lot to be said about doing what you like and living life to the fullest.

2007-11-13 15:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by Willie J 5 · 0 0

He has picked a dying trade as rappers are become outdated already. I don't think he should be giving up the 9-5 job soon.

2007-11-13 18:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0 0

As long as he keeps his 9-5 honey I really wouldnt worry about it. Now if he turns 30 and up then I would begin worrying about it. He can always go to school and learn a trade. My advice would be to stick by your man because if you don't someone else will. Best of luck.

2007-11-13 15:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by LOVELY25 3 · 0 0

You may need to hold that marriage off and wait. See where all this between two worlds is going to take your fiance. Baby and if you go through with this marriage, you better have the backup plan. good luck

2007-11-13 19:03:35 · answer #11 · answered by Thunder 2 · 0 0

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