Is it better to let a man screw up and then bring up his mistake afterwards - or - stop him before he screws up?
I think a guy would feel worse if it's thrown in his face afterwards. But, I also think if it's brought up before hand, he'll just brush it off or get offended for a woman even thinking he could screw up.
2007-11-13 07:14:00 · 11 answers · asked by Avelyn 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I'm concerned about my fiance. We're getting married on Saturday. I'm worried about:
a) the poker game after the reception-- I think he'll end up ignoring me (tell him now, or let him ignore me and bring it up later)
b) photos -- he looks like he's being tortured whenever someone takes his picture, even if for our wedding. (so let him look like an idiot in the pictures or tell him to "buck up" beforehand and ensure he does)
c) vows - during the rehearsal he seemed like he didn't care at all (let him muck it up during the ceremony or tell him he's being a child and take the "what are you talking about" speech. )
2007-11-13 07:26:04 · update #1
I'm a very easy going person. I go with him on fishing trips, out camping, we play Halo together, I do his laundry (he does the heavy lifting), I get his clothes ready for him the night before (he gets up at three every morning), I don't ever nag him (I'm serious!!!!), I tell him to go play poker EVERY Saturday... I'm just concerned I may be spoiling him!
2007-11-13 07:55:03 · update #2
Screws up in what way? Is he chasing a dream? Men need to believe that their spouse is behind them. Let him take some risks and chances, as long as he doesn't go overboard, and then be there for him if the risks fail.
2007-11-13 07:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you getting married for the love or the pictures, ceremony and the reception?
Sounds you should postpone the wedding to me,
Now, if he was changing the oil in the car with a hammer, you might let him go ahead and knock a hole in the engine and still not say anything to him about it after wards. Words of advice from a man married many years, let him screw up once or twice and then just start having things done without him, ie, oil change at the local garage.
If your concerned about him not wanting to have his picture taken, remember, this is the guy you wanted to marry, so, you know this going in and should not be surprised.
Tell ya what, don't say anything about anything, do it his way, enjoy yourself and not sweat the small stuff and everything will be just fine....
2007-11-13 15:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by jerry kaye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a ridiculous question - honestly!
Neither of those is good
If you have a friendship or relationship with a guy you talk about everything in a loving way and supportive way. If he is about to do something of even minor importance you should be talking about it anyway - so whilst talking you can tactfully say what you see are the pros and cons of the idea eg by asking did you think about this ... which could happen etc and dont be offended but i think you are taking a risk here, etc etc
TACT and communication!
Reading your additions - you sound like an android crossed with a robot - completely mechanical with not an atom of emotion or dare i say it love - why are you marrying - becasue you have been programmed to ?? cancel the wedding until YOU know what love and marriage means - or you are the one screwing up here
2007-11-13 15:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by peter w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough info here.
If it's financial, and I'd mess up our finances long term, then yes, I'd like to know. Same with any other major event. My wife & I are a team, I expect her imput, especially if it will prevent future problems.
If it's something, for example, related to one of my hobbies, and there is not serious consequences, then I prefer to learn from my own mistakes.
Again, it really depends on what, specificly, you're talking about.
2007-11-13 15:21:57 · answer #4 · answered by Voice_Of_Reason 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about a total control freak..Doesn't this guy know what he's about to get into?? My answer just let him read your question and the answers and maybe then he'll decide not to screw up!!
2007-11-13 15:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy you are a freak. Tell him and hopefully he will run away before the marriage.
2007-11-13 15:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is all in how you approach it and tell him about it. Either one of them is fine, so long as you don't make it out like you are rubbing it in his face.
2007-11-13 15:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the situation.
2007-11-13 15:23:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound very hard to marry...if that is possible. sounds like alot of "work"...a wedding should not be that way, just my opinion
2007-11-13 15:27:32 · answer #9 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women are powerful, especially when they have you by the balls.
2007-11-13 15:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by Brightside 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋