i dont answer the phone and then when he comes over i turn the tv and what not off and act like nobody is here. the only time i will deal with him is if my husband is home from work. does this make me a really bad person?
2007-11-13 07:09:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hes very rude to me when my husband is not around. hes a very outspoken person i guess is the best way to put it and he always makes comments about my weight and how i keep our home. i do love him and am not rude to him when i am around him i would just rather not be brought down by someone as unhappy as he is. i was just wondering if this makes me a bad person.
2007-11-13 07:26:30 · update #1
I am going to take a different point of view. Your instincts are telling you something. Listen to them until you can get to the bottom of it. Why does your father-in-law show up and/or call when his son is not there? And why is he showing up unannounced? Those things raise serious questions in my mind about HIM, not about you.
You do need to talk to your husband about it. And maybe the two of you need to visit him a bit more often. But until such time as you are comfortable with him, DO NOT let him in your house when you are alone. That is your place of refuge.
Again, get to know him better. Maybe your instincts will be right, maybe not. But you need to listen to your instincts until such time as the evidence is clear the other way.
Added later - Having read your addition, my answer doesn't change. You don't need to hear anything negative in your own home. Do not let him in while your husband isn't around, since he treats you better when when your husband is around.
That clinches another thing for me. Since he only says rude things when nobody else is around, he knows what he is saying is hurtful. So, no, you are not the bad person in this scenario. He is. Stand your ground. It is your home and you shouldn't have to put up with anyone belittling you, especially in your home.
2007-11-13 07:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Dude I'm so sorry I thought I had it bad just with things being awkward but geez. It sounds like he's actually threatened by you. Maybe next time he says your going to take their daughter from them say something to him like "no I would never do that, but I would like some privacy with my wife so we can sleep when we want to sleep and shower when we want.... and then you can use the bathroom when you want etc." Just be respectful I guess and hope for the best but you shouldn't have to be smothered like that.... you're a big boy too with a wife and a child of your own on the way and that's messed up!
2016-05-22 23:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there some reason that you don't want to deal with him when you're alone? I'm not sure, but I feel it's always best to try and get along with your in-laws. It makes your marriage go smoother, and unless there's a real good reason for ignoring the man, just try and make the best of the situation. You don't have to live with him,right? That's a plus.
2007-11-13 07:16:17 · answer #3 · answered by nprrangergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless this man has done something that is horrible - like treating you rudely or saying something unforgiveable to you - then yes, I think it's bad. How you treat your husband's father is less about HIM and more about how much respect and love you have for YOUR HUSBAND. By not caring for or showing any interest in his father, you are hurting YOUR HUSBAND. When you marry someone, you should marry knowing you get the whole package - that includes their family. You should WANT to get to know his father for no other reason than the man means alot to your husband!!! It's not only incredibly insensitive to your husband, it's downright RUDE in general the way you behave when the father is in your home. As a guest, you should be a gracious host no matter what your feelings for him are. That means engaging him in conversation and making him feel welcome. Shame on you!!
2007-11-13 07:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're not a bad person, it's just that you probably don't know him all that well. If you feel more comfortable dealing with him while your husband is around, then that's up to you.
It's also up to you if you want to get to know him better, after all, for better or worse, this man is an important part of your husband's life.
I got along with my father in law, until he wanted to spank my child for being too loud, then I confronted him and we had a parting of ways, now, I only speak to him when I have to.
2007-11-13 07:17:10 · answer #5 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, your not a bad person. It's pretty obvious you feel uncomfortable around him......but why? That is what we want to know, so that we can give you the answer you are looking for. Why do you have to "deal" with him at all? E-mail me, I'll listen and try to help you.
2007-11-13 07:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you do this? Does this man make you feel uncomfortable? If he does, you are doing the right thing. Don't feel bad about it. And why is your father-in-law visiting when your husband's not home? Why is he calling you? You're doing the right thing, girlfriend!
2007-11-13 07:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is the reason you do not want to deal with him?If he has did nothing wrong its not healthy for your relationship between you and your husband.this question has nothing to do with you being a bad person or not,we can not answer your questions or at attempt to with out knowing the full story or at least alittle more detail.
2007-11-13 07:28:54 · answer #8 · answered by loretta l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting to know him. You two could end up being great friends. If worst comes to worst just ignore him again.
2007-11-13 07:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by amy c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this does not make you a bad person. It just shows your immaturity and inability to deal with the issues like an adult.
Good luck.
2007-11-13 07:14:12 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋