My doctor won't do an episiotomy.?

Question

I went to the doctor today and had been seeing her practitioner till today I am 38 weeks and well asked if she does an episiotomy if needed and she said no she doesn't. She would rather see 5 small tears then on large cut. This scares me as I have been told that my baby is large. What is it like to heal from a tear and what about afterwards when my husband and I can resume sexual activity. Will he be able to tell or it not be good for him anymore.

Answer 1

I had an epis with my first son... my second I tore at the old epis site... It will always tear there now because I had an epis. The tear healed up much faster than the epis did.

After you heal up some do kegal exercises and you'll tighten right back up.

Answer 2

A natural tear IS better. And trust your doctor's judgement. Even the doctors who say they "never" do episiotomies WILL do them if it needs to be done, for example, if the head is very large and a large tear is inevitable, or if you have a short perineal space, etc.

Either way, a tear or episiotomy will be painful when healing and that pain can sometimes linger for many weeks, months, or longer. You can start having sex as soon as that 6 week postpartum time period is over and you have doc's ok to resume. But you might not be ready for it at 6 weeks - it will still be sore. Use lots of lubrication.

I had an epis with my first child, and could not have sex without pain for almost a year. But it does eventually get better, some people heal quicker than others, and it also depends on how large that tear or epis is. It's highly variable on how long it will take to completely heal.

Answer 3

Every doctor has their own methods. I had two small episiotomies when giving birth but I still tore all the way (4th degree tears). My daughter came out like an explosion all at once, not like most babies where the head comes out and the doctor can guide the shoulders and the rest of the body. I liked that my tears were just in one spot, but I never experienced multiple little tears so I don't have anything to compare too. Resuming sexual activity after birth was extremely difficult for me because more of the psychological fear, not the physical pain. I am 17 weeks pregnant and already discussing with my doctor ways to prevent tearing again. We might induce early if my baby is large or massage the area to help it stretch because I want a vaginal birth again. Good luck! Discuss your fears with your doctor and let her explain to you in more detail her reasoning behind her method. As for your husband noting the difference, my doctor took 45 minutes to sew me up and I'm as good as ever (maybe even a little tighter) but I had to wait 10 or 12 weeks to resume sexual activity because of how bad my tears were and to ensure they were healed completely. P.S. The person above mentioned using the spray and squirt bottle to clean when you go the restroom - I did that too.

Answer 4

I didn't have an episiotomy nor did I tear with my daughter and she was 9lbs 3 oz. I think it is good that they don't give them as often now. My midwife was very patient with me and worked my vagina out helping it stretch for the baby's head to come while I was pushing. She was awesome!
I am sure your doc will be the same way, and as the other girls said.. I have read that tears heal so much faster than a cut, I would have rather teared a few times then get cut :(

Answer 5

Don't worry. 9 out of 10 women tear...you of course do not feel the tear occur amongst all the other lovely stuff happening. Episiotomy or not...you will still have to be stitched up!!!! What would it really matter? As for your hubby...I've heard doctors usually take that into consideration and make the stitches higher for that purpose. The stitches hurt me a little, but not much. As for the healing, 6 weeks...you can't take baths and you can't really wipe, you have to use a warm bottle of water. After the healing you won't even be able to tell and neither will your hubby!!!!!!

Answer 6

Either way (tearing or having an incision), you're going to have at least 6 weeks of recovery time before you can have sex. And whether you tear or have an incision, you will need stitches. The stitches will help it to get back to normal, I promise. It'll just take some time to heal either way.

On a side note, I would have a MAJOR problem if my doctor said he wouldn't do an episiotomy, ESPECIALLY if my baby was measuring on the big side. An incision can be controlled, a tear can not. My sister tore, but not the way you would think. She tore UP past her cervix and, as a result, had over 100 stitches to fix it. An incision would have prevented that.

Answer 7

Two Vaginal Births
One episiotomy
Episiotomy one stright cut. DOWN
Non-epi tore UP several jagged ways.
First more room less burn
Second still don't look the same.
One stright incision
V/s jig saw puzzle that didn't stay together.
Now have four labia minoras still 2 vulvas
And I'll save you the rest.
Picasso Vagina
Oh for the end?
Told didn't need novacaine now for jigsaw sutures
I disagreed.

Answer 8

You really dont need an episiotomy. You get worse scar tissue from them. They only do them because they make it easier for the doctor, not for your body.

Your skin is made to stretch, and a good doctor will massage that area with oil so you dont tear. My midwife helped so much in that department. My son had nearly a 14cm head, and iam a hipless woman, and still didnt tear.

Dont worry about it. You dont really want one done anyway, they take longer to heal, and in most cases you dont tear, your body is just about always made for the size of the baby.

Answer 9

I tore in 3 different spots when I delivered. I had stitches and it was painful. I tore on my perinium and both side of the labia and I had to use a spray to numb the pain and cleanse with a squirt bottle full of warm water of i went to the bathroom. Once you heal its fine. Sex does go back to being the same. You just have to be gentle at first. Me and my husband had sex about 5 weeks after I gave birth, but I was still sore. It tooke probably about 8 weeks to fully recover. Try perinium stretching. You can google it. It will help you from tearing during delivery.

Answer 10

This is what my DR. showed me when I asked about one. Take a piece of paper and put a small tear in it. Then pull at it and see how much more it tears. How far down did it rip? now take another piece and pull at it from either side. Did it rip very easily? He explained that if you get an episiotomy that you could tear easier and more than you would have than by just tearing naturally.

Answer 11

I had an episiotomy w/ my son b/c of his size. When I had my daughter was I afraid that I was going to have to have another episiotomy but my doctor said he didn't want to give me one. My daughter was only 1.5oz lighter than my son. Of course I tore and was stitched up once again, but the heeling took a little bit longer than when I had the episiotomy.
With my son I started having intercourse after 3wks exactly but w/ my daughter it took 6wks b/c I bled for that amount of time. Your body will naturally tighten back up just like the uterus naturally shrinks after birth.