Ok so here's the deal- My son's father and I have been togeather for 3 years, since I was 15, he was my first everything and I love him sooo much but in the last 6 months or so we were having some problums. I came back to Jersey (where all our family is) from Michigan (where we's been living for a couple months) just for a week to see my family. Well half way through the week I found out I'm pregnant with our second child ( we have a 9 month old son) and I called him to tell and his responce was to tell me that he's in love with someone else and that he started seeing her right after i left and that he didn't want me to come back! Anyways about a month went by and then last weekend he came down here to see the baby and he told me he's moving back here and that he loves me and that it was the biggest mistake and that he was just upset. I still love him very much and I know it sounds stupid to take him back and i love him and miss him so much and have been so depressed since he left!
2007-11-13 05:20:46 · 20 answers · asked by Baby0219 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i just wanted to say something to the person that said just cause I have 2 kids, i'll never do anything. Get all the facts before you make a statement like that. I have an awsome job with very well known respected company, and will be finishing my degree in early next year!
2007-11-13 06:07:54 · update #1
If you are able to handle things on your own for a while, I think it might be a good idea to make him sweat it out a bit. I would tell him you need some time to think about things, and go from there. If he is really committed to making it work, he will understand and hang around until the time is right for you.
2007-11-13 05:32:14 · answer #1 · answered by AB 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to couples' counseling, or at least to parenting classes together. You love him and now have 2 children with him, so of course you want to try to make it work. I do have an issue with how he treated you, and the fact that just because you had some problems, he essentially cheated on you. I assume it was cheating since you never said if you had broken up before he fell in love with someone else. I would have a very hard time trusting him, and personally, if I can't trust someone not to cheat and kick me when I'm down, I will not be with them no matter how much I love that person. Love does not conquer all when you're being treated like trash when it suits the other person.
2007-11-13 06:05:34 · answer #2 · answered by ♛Qu€€n♛J€§§¡¢a♛™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the deed has been done, in more than one way, I say get back with him. If everything has been fine so far until this 'other girl' came along, he may have just been extremely upset by 1) you left to see your family, 2) your having another baby, back to back. This in itself can upset a guy (i'm a guy), and yes, it does take two, but sometimes you trust the girl to be honest with herself & take birth control or whatever and you may have let him down....
Given the information you gave and your age, I say go ahead and give it a try. What do you have to loose? How much worse of a position can you be in if you weren't to get back together? If anything, he can be there to help you with both kids until he decides to change his mind again... let's hope not. Anyways, good luck and I know 3 years from now you will realize how much you have grown up - so fast! Take care.
2007-11-13 05:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to start worrying more about yourself than your boyfriend. go ahead and start your school career and keep in the same contact as always with said boyfriend. I'm sure he has the same trust issues that you have with living apart. The only way to know if he is a cheater is for you to catch him cheating, which won't happen if your'e miles away. you will always be wondering what if. It is best to let the chips fall where they may in this situation. You will find out if he is really commited to you during your seperation. That's when you make your decision. If your marriage is going to work, you are going to need trust anyway, right? p.s. alot of people text stuff that don't really mean much.....don't read too much into it until you see something. and stop checking the text messeges it will just upset you.
2016-05-22 23:40:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents always told me that you get one chance - now he's used it. Take him back this time but make sure he knows there will NOT be a second chance. You don't say how old he is but my guess is he is a little older than you and should have known better to begin with.
You know the saying "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence"? Well he was thinking the grass would be greener with another woman, but it wasn't so he came back to your side - make sure he doesn't jump the fence again.
If you take him back you must be ready to wipe the slate clean. If you have a fight there is no throwing his little fling in his face - that's not what makes a good relationship. But again, don't let him think that he can make this a habit either.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-11-13 05:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow hun that's so tough! one of the biggest questions that you can ask your self is "Do you trust him?" like do you really trust him not yes because you want to but do you trust him with your heart not just your mind? I like you had a first for everything and I loved him so much and thought there was nobody else but one day he told me he cheated and it hurt so bad and he said it was a mistake and I took him back well we broke up off and on but the love I once felt for him was never the same and I can still run into him and my heart jumps but when I really think about it I would never trust him the same I moved on and now I am happily married. So you just need to decided if you will ever feel the same and trust him the same I know its hard but good luck and keep in mind happy parents = happy children not just parents that are together but HAPPY!
2007-11-13 05:31:46 · answer #6 · answered by Amberlyn 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It didn't work out with the other girl--she probably figured out what a jerk he is. So now he thinks he can come crawling back to you because you are his comfort zone. I can't tell you not to go back to him, if you love him you will do whatever you want to do anyway. But my advice to you is, do not make it easy for him to come back. Drag it out a little and make sure he's serious, or he will end up hurting you again. Sorry, but I've been there and this is usually how it works. Good luck and concentrate on taking care of those precious babies.
2007-11-13 05:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How much have you thought about this, really? It only took 1/2 of a week for your husband to tell you that he fell in love with some else? Did it ever occur to you that he's had affairs during your marriage and it's those affairs that caused problems in your relationship to begin with? I'd be pretty sceptical of a man who could fall out of love so quickly with me and then one month later, tell me he made a big mistake and really loved me instead?
2007-11-13 11:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you or will you be able to trust someone who falls in and out of love so easily with you? I think that you will find that now that you are getting back with him he knows that you will take him back no matter what he acts like. He did not even tell you that he did not want you to go back. I think that you want someone to tell you it is the right thing to do but I won't . I think that while you are around your people you ought to start thinking about taking care of you and those babies. You are not depressed without him you are scared that you can't live without him. Learn to love yourself and let your family help.
2007-11-13 05:27:38 · answer #9 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hunny, if you feel in your heart that it right, go ahead, I would also do a session or two of couples therapy, it could help, but you both need to sit down and talk things out don't back together without talking and making sure this is what you both want you do have two children to think about, Good luck
2007-11-13 05:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋