Been married for 8 years (2 kids ages 8 & 6). I've known my husband has been cheating on me with different people but I didn't do anything about it. I just figured it was me with the problem. This made my self esteem drop. About 2 years ago I decided it was time to put myself first. I started jogging and taking care of myself. I had/have a whole new outlook. Then I had an affair myself. Nothing too serious although I would like it to be and the other guys doesn't (thats a whole diff. issue). I kicked my husband out of the house and filed for divorce. My husband is crushed and I feel guilty. He's the one who began this whole thing by having numerous affairs and broke me down to nothing until I finally got back to my true self. We've tried councilors but we cant get rid of ill feelings toward each other. I can't stand him. He plays games and is very controlling. How do I stop him from constantly hurting me? Threating me, following me, accusing me of things that are not true?
2007-11-13 05:14:01 · 28 answers · asked by toobusy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep going with the divorce. If he continues to bother you get a restraining order. He created this mess and you reacted. It will get better eventually
2007-11-13 05:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by mommacat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound crazy at all. It sounds like you had the courage to do exactly what needed to be done. Of course he's going to guilt you because he doesn't want to own his part in what happened. Don't fall for it. Stick to your guns so to speak, get a restraining order and keep your conversations to a bare minimum about the kids. Let him know the new ground rules and let him know that if he breaks the rules you'll hang up on him. The more you communicate with him the more fuel you add to the fire. He needs to grow up and move on with his life. Go today and get the restraining order. If he breaks any part of it call the police. Keep your chin up and look for a support group. Many women have been through the exact same thing. There is help out there.
2007-11-13 05:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing: 2 wrongs don't make a right
next thing: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let anyone make you feel like you are nothing but dirt.
When you found out the first time that your husband was cheating on you, you should've confront him then. If you wanted to accept him back after the first time, that's fine mistakes do happen (although they shouldn't be that big), but after the second I wouldn't have anything to do with him. Stay with the divorce and put up a restraining order after proof that he has been harrassing you (keep a list on the caller ID, record messages {let the answering machine answer}, have friends back up the confrontations. Try not to let anyone treat you that way or make you feel that way again.
2007-11-13 05:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by muzacmaster44 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kicking him out was a good start. Getting through the divorce is the next step. Don't answer the phone and don't return phone calls. Tell your attorney's he's threatened you and get a personal protection order against him.
2007-11-13 11:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restaining order. If you can't work things out and you have tried get a divorce and move on with your life. You sound like you are already getting a new you. So, don't let this husband of yours put you through any more misery.
2007-11-13 05:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
eh, just file a restraining order against him. This will tell him that you are serious about your situation and that you will no longer be a victim of verbal or mental harassment. And in this case I do think that divorce is the best answer. It doesn't seem that he will ever change, and it will only get worse.
2007-11-13 05:18:40 · answer #6 · answered by steven c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you cheated also. So you are technically no better than he is - except that he did it first. Neither one of you respected the terms of your marriage. And neither one of you was really fair with the other. You should have confronted him from the get-go. So now you are living with the fallout that comes from that. If he is a threat, then you need a restraining order. Too bad it has had to come to that.
2007-11-13 05:19:56 · answer #7 · answered by cambridge_daisy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
loopy would not exist anymore the o nyl paople who say loopy is ignorante people who stay under rocks and would not realiza that us psychological pattients have harsh lives.you're in all probability the kinda of guy or woman who thinks melancholy and anxity are all on your head as they say.think of till now you label. now.Usualy sociopath do think of honestly everyone else made the themes with the aid of fact the guy above suggested.Schyzoprenics ussualy don't be attentive to they're mentaly ill yet brazenly admit that they see or hear issues.those with Borderline acuse different of being insane.
2016-09-29 04:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by delsignore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all good for you, you did the right thing. Now get him his own personal restraining order. Take a firearms training course, get a license to carry a weapon. If he knows that you can stand up for youself he will leave you alone.
2007-11-13 05:21:30 · answer #9 · answered by iceman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These dreams ... share a little candle... spare a little light for me ... the full moon that hangs over the dreams in the mist...... And words that are hollow are fallen from my lips......Theres somethin out there I can't resist ..... the sweetest song is silence ...that I ever heard ... funny how your feet and dreams never touch the earth.... in a world full of Princes...bring kisses to my lips..... but the prince hides his face from dreams in the mist.... ... these dreams help me sleep when its cold outside ....every second of the night ...I live another life....these dreams seem further away..... off into the night........
2007-11-13 05:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋