My husband has told me several times that he would love to see me give another man oral sex. I know this is a common fantasy, but I don't understand what the pleasure would be. Curiosity? I'm hurt because I want him to have the attitude of "she's all mine", but he says that is not the issue and he knows I'll never leave him. Can anyone explain why this would turn him on?
2007-11-13 05:06:29 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband (of 3 years) has told me several times that he would love to see me give another man oral sex. I know this is a common fantasy, but I don't understand what the pleasure would be. I know he loves me, and we have a very active sex life (5 times a week). Can anyone explain why this would turn him on?
2007-11-13 11:04:12 · update #1
That's interesting to me, because my guy is the same way. And says almost exactly the same thing. Now, he hasnt divulged the why and I'm not a guy so I couldn't say for sure.
But, some guys just get turned on, by seeing someone else have "sexual relations" with you. It may he just likes to watch, but would rather watch you than some strangers (thats probably a good thing). It may be he really wants to have a threesome, and will start out watching with the hopes of joining in. Or it is possible that he just wants to see if you'd do it.
The best route would be to confront him, ask him to explain why it turns him on, as best he can. Tell him, how you feel about it. It may be less dificult if you do this in a fun flirty way, rather than a serious descussion depending on your guys personality. Try playing a game, like truth or dare (as childish as it is, it may be fun and it may just work) or even "The card game for lovers" which you can find at most adult book stores. This game gives you both a chance to express and act out your fantasies together.
2007-11-13 05:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Gidget 3 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Some men are very "visual" about what turns them on---but i think you're opening a whole new can of worms if you guys don't actively have an open relationship. Can you really be comfortable performing oral sex on another man while your husband watches, are you ready for the consequences that will inevitably come from what you are planning to do, think about how you would feel watching your husband with another women. I know that in the "heat of the moment" things can sound like great fun, but make sure you're not going to regret it in the long run. Can your husband keep from getting jealous or "hanging it over your head" all the time. Like i said, if you don't actively participate in an open relationship then tread lightly. You may think you can handle it, but it's a much bigger deal than people make it out to be, at least in my opinion.
2007-11-13 05:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by s and d e 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can't say exactly why, but the turn on likely has little to do with sex. Probably more to do with satisfying some other need. The chances that this kind of thing will complicate and add stress to your relationship are high. Don't believe the HBO real sex shows where this is all good. The very fact that he wants to do this is an indicator that all is not well between you two, or at least with him. You should try to open up some communication with him and try to find out why he wants this. Try not to be accusatory, just exploratory. It's not wrong to want this, just not a good idea as far as keeping your relationship together.
2007-11-13 05:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by LG 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
It has nothing at all to do with him loving you, I'm sure he loves very much. But you have to understand, men are very turned on sexually by what they see visually, and what you described it a fantasy most men have. You husband, like all men, like sexy women and for a woman to be very sexual. Every man has the "Madonna Whore Complex". Don't get offended, but the reason he wants to see you do it is because he wants to see you do something allot of people consider slutty.
I have performed oral sex and sex itself in front of my current bf, and past bf's also, and it was allot of fun for all of us, and I have no regrets. But if you do decide to do it, you and your husband have to understand it's just physical, it has nothing to do with the love and romance you and him share normally, it's strictly for sex, and you must be able to separate the two. Before you decide one way or the other, you and your husband have to seriously decide if the both of you can separate the physical act of sex with another man from making love to one another. Most people can not so you and him really have to discuss it, and if you have any doubts at all no matter how small, than I would say you shouldn't do it.
2007-11-14 12:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by chocolate4vanilla76 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Because sex and love are two different things. Men are visual and there is something about watching your wife please another man that is a turn on. I have the same fantasies, but mine go all of the way. It is also something that only a secure man would say. Secure about himself and secure about the love you two share. It isn't about cheating or infidelity. It is about simple fun and pleasure and sharing. He loves you and feels you are all his in your hearts. He has the mindset (as do I) that having simple sexual pleasures with full knowledge and participation of everyone including others is acceptable. It is all up to you guys though, and if you aren't comfortable with it then don't do it.
2007-11-13 05:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by No one 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
He probably likes the idea of you being naughty and cheating on him, but hes not quite ready to see you have full on sex with another guy untill hes sure he likes it. Hence why hes only asking you to do oral.
He may also just like seeing you happy and thinks this will put a smile on your face.
If hes sure about it and confident that you wont leave him or do it behind his back then i say go for it!
If he doesnt like it then its his fault for wanting you to do it.
2007-11-13 09:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Don't spaz out on the guy. Be glad he's being open and actually sharing something that's considered taboo. He's trusting you enough that he can tell you something he wants to try. That's a huge step.
First, figure out the 'why.' But don't ask us, ask him. I think there are many guys, most who won't admit it, that would be turned on by watching their wives interact with other men. Be it exhibitionism, like flashing, or dancing, or physical contact, or sex, men like SEEING it happen. I, for example, have a fantasy to see my wife do the same thing your husband's talking about. I haven't told her because I'm not certain of her reaction and I'd be afraid of the stigma that comes with being 'different' sexually.
Just talk it out with him. Tell him why you're not interested and be very specific. Say sex is something that is really intimate and important to you. Yo cannot see yourself performing such an activity on another man. It's not about marriage. It's about comfort levels and what you do and do not want to do. But TALK to him. He's going way out on a limb to discuss something, you need to respect that and tell him how you feel.
Don't be hurt, be happy that you two are communicating.
2007-11-13 05:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
A guess? It would be a turn on for him to see other men getting hot for you. He may have what is called a cuckhold fetish which means he gets off on seeing his wife with other men. Believe him when he says that you being all his isn't the issue. People with this fetish aren't interested in their partner having a meaningful emotional relationship with another person.
But the only important question is how do YOU feel about it? Don't do anything that would hurt you, make you feel bad or uncomfortable.
2007-11-13 05:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 0⤋
Husband Watches Wife Give *******
2016-11-13 05:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the fantasy that is turning him on. I believe if you actually did that he would feel completely different once it was reality. He THINKS you won't leave him....what if you seemed to enjoy being with the other man more?? It seems he needs something to spice up your sex life....why not try something that will spice it up without involving another person??
2007-11-13 05:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋